NO!

What's for breakfast?

The usual - peanut butter sandwich, cheese and a glass of milk.

Mmmm.... oh hang on.. there are some chocolate balls..the size of a pingpong ball.

4 of them. 2 of us.

Mmmm.. let's see.. Should I give him an equal share? Or do I love him enough to give him 3?

2 or 3.. 3 or 2...4? Crazy ah?...

2 lah..But he will surely ask for another.

Like that ah.. 3 lah. What? So many? Crazy ah?

Ok.. 1 minute of my life wasted deciding on the number of choco balls to serve to His Majesty on a beautiful Saturday morning. Faitit!

Don't rush the Queen ok? Plop..plop..plop... 3 balls. 3 balls it is!

*music slowly fades in - The Queen of my Heart by Westlife*

I stare at my one, satu bijik, yatt lapp hoe kwai yum gung choco ball... Sigh, the sacrifice of a mother! Hang on.. I hear something. Let me adjust my antenna.

"Whose... is that?"

What? What?

"Can I have it?"

WHAT? I gave you 3 choco balls! I only have ONE! Now you want mine? Yaumougauchor?

What came out from my mouth was, "Errr..NO!"

"You must to be generous."

You must be generous, not to be generous. (Sempat correct grammar) But the answer is still NO!

*inch closer* "Aw, come on.... You must share.....! When a son asks, the mummy must give, you know.. If not next time I make my own breakfast."

Apa you merepek, son?

The negotiation went on for awhile. Finally I gave him the last choco ball. I knew from the beginning that he would want the last one. I just didn't want to give in easily. There is a cantonese saying which goes, "Something something, sai kan choy~" I think it means in life, you don't get anything easily.

So I will be frying some sausages. Hahhaha! Evil me. That was the plan from the beginning. If he begins his quest with the charchardaidai "Whose is that?" again, I am gonna shove everything into my mouth!

Wai wai

If you paid enough attention to what I said.. *ahem* (imagine: me pushing up my spectacles, holding a cane, standing next to a black board with a plunging neckline blouse and super tight very professional above knee office skirt )

This is NOT the image I have in mind. Like I care.. Go imagine yourself. I don't have time to search for the perfect image. Teehee..

So where was I? No wonder you don't pay attention to me.. cos I digress too much. Tsk .. tsk..

So uhm.. yes...

I have on numerous occasions wrote about giving 'wais'. It is a form of greeting or respect given in Thailand, where you clasp two palms (in GG's case, three) and place them near your chest, chin or nose while bowing your head slightly. No one has given me formal lessons on "the art of giving "wais" but thru my own observation and initiative, I found out that the placement of palms very much depends on who is receiving the 'wai.'



Giving the 'wai' is a very gentle mannerism. It is one of the many Thai cultures that I adore. It shows gratitude and respect. Once, an old man helped me to fix a leaking pipe, voluntarily under the hot blazing sun (read here). If not for a 'wai', I would have felt that I didn't thank him enough.

Sometimes I meet people whom I like. And it's a bit mengada-ngada to offer squeezy hugs to show our affection. There are times I appreciate the help I get. And it's a bit silly to smell his/her feet as a gesture of appreciation. Hence, a 'wai' is apt.

However, no matter how many times we do it, we still can't perfect the art of giving 'wais'. Maybe our movements are too stiff, our hands - too rough, and our smiles -too fake.

Once, I was picked up at the airport by papah's driver. I was carrying my luggage. Upon seeing us, he quickly gave us a 'wai'. I reciprocrated immediately, forgetting that I didn't have two hands. So, imagine.. I had one hand (upright) on chest level while bowing slightly. I must have looked like a Taoist nun! (Sinjoy~ sinjoy~). What a faux pas!

I have always encouraged Gooly to give 'wais' to elderly people. The way he does it, albeit still unnatural to compare with the locals, it is still awfully cute.

When he was younger, he bowed way toooo low. Almost like someone suffering from Osteoporosis.

And then, he progressed. But he sniffed his palms while saying, "Sawadeekap" *sniff sniff*

And now he does it almost automatically when addressing a local.

I tried loading a picture of him giving a 'wai', but.. I got this disturbing message:

Sorry, the web site you are accessing has been closed by Royal Thai Police due to inappropriateness such as pornography, gambling or contain any information which is deemed to violate national security.

This is not the first time. Everytime I try loading pictures, I get that intimidating message. Anyone else being slapped by the same message, my dear Bangkok comrades?

Ok, so back to 'wais'..

Err... nothing else to add.

Adious! How crappy..

Wai wai, wan pin wai? Ah Wai ng hai.. (sing to the tune of Barney's I love you. I don't care the words don't jive with the tune)

Sungha*Jung

Pure genius.

I know nuts about music. But when he plays, my heart skips a beat.. my jaw drops...

I am just mad about him. Mad like crazy. Crazy like I want to buy his album but there is none.

When his music starts, I just start smiling... *giggles*

His music goes straight into my heart. Pierces right thru even! *gushes*



This is his latest. I can like, uhm.. dance to his music. Parra parra parrrap paraap! *silly grin*

I like singing this in karaoke. Parra parra parrap pa raap! *bob head* Tee hee.



This is sooooo sweet! He smiles in the middle. *swoons*.

Coincidentaly, Gooly's hair is like his now. *giggles*



Another favourite. Isn't he like the most amazing? *WOW mouth*

One commentor says, " Everytime he plays something new, he is 5 million times better than the last. He is limitless."

Gosh! That is like..a very apt description.

God must have spent more time with him, really, like totally!

Can somebody like..uhm..pick up my jaw already? *giggles*

Sungha, saranghae! (I dunno what it means..haha). I love, love, love they way you bob your head when you play. *bats eyelashes*

You are like, uhm a true virtuoso! Yeah! *blushes and gives a peace sign and a wink*

(Ya, my style of narration has been morphed into gushing, blushing totally head over heels school-girl speech cos.. like, uhm.. you know.. *shrugs*)

Takkan I say: Sungha, come..auntie hug hug.. Auntie give sweets. You serenade to auntie. Auntie soooooo lapiew!

Should I post this?

I hate being schmaltzy. The good thing is he hardly reads my crap anymore. (That's what I think! He hasn't said much about my Nobel prize 'stories' lately.) So I can macho-ly say what's in my heart:

Hey you!
- You ask "How was your day?" when I come back from an outing. My days are not stressful, unlike yours. And yet you ask. I am touched.

- You buy everything that I need that I am embarrassed to ask anything else. Thank you. I appreciate every single thing you bought.

- You bring home food. You give shelter. You work hard. I am so grateful.

- You smile at me when we are seated across the table. I like that a lot. I'm glad we need not to be glued, but yet still feel the connection.

- You are okay if I don't iron your clothes. You don't make me feel lousy for not doing it.

- You pack your clothes to the laundry when there are too many to wash. You probably like the way your clothes are fresh and smoothly ironed from the laundry, but you don't DEMAND that I do it that way.

These are the little things and big things that make my everyday life so worth living. I sleep soundly at night, and I wake with happy thoughts, thanks to you..

:)

I hate being schmaltzy.. so please don't embarrass me by saying that I am, ok?

This morning..

*staring at own reflection in the toilet*

YOU are so lucky, ni ji tau maa?

- I know..........

YOU! Take and take and take! When are you gonna give back?

- I will..............

He always say he is gold nuggets.. HE is, you know?

- I know.........

Have you told him you know he loves you and you love him?

- I tell him all the time, but wish I can do more?

What can you do? Cook, you dunno! Ha? What you know?

-*hangs head in shame* Wa ng chai....

Can you do what GG does best?

- Mopping?

NO! The other one!

- Oooooh........... *nod nod* I can! Better than mopping!

Ok, brush teeth now. Gooly wants to eat breakfast. Can you wake up earlier also?

- Wokeh. ..wokeh...After pangsai I brush, can or not?

*roll eyes* Up to you-lah!



Have you felt... like you have not done/say enough to your loved ones? Besides the usual words, usual service...what else can we do? - which doesn't involve money?

Haih... I can try composing songs, I suppose.

Phweeet! *whistle blowing*

It is!

IT is not!

IT IS!

IT IS NOT!

Ahh... Sunday bickering between father and son.

It usually ends with someone crying (guess who?) or teary or trying to get support from me.

"Mahmee, tell him he is wrong!"

Let's rewind...

Papah sauntered out front the closet room, and proudly claimed that his shirt is the same colour as Gooly's - blue.

"No, it is not the same. Look, mine is blue and white..here.. at the sleeve, it's white! See?"

"Look, I got white too, here at the side. See?"

"I got black words. Yours doesn't. See?"

"It's the same -lah!"

"No, it's not."

"It is!"

"It's not! Tell him he is wrong, Mahmee!"

Around this time, I feel like throwing my toilet slipper at both of them! It's only something GG would do, so I didn't. Instead, I gave them THE look - which, one eye can send the signal of "How old are you? Why are you bickering with a 4 year old?" , and at the same time, the other eye says, "Enough! Blue, white, black! I don't care! Now let's get moving! I'm hungry!"

And in the car, a tiny voice said, "It's not the same."

I turned around and said, "It's the same. The main colour is blue."

"Ohhhh....silly me," and he giggled.

I am gonna buy a whistle. I am the referee! The umpire...the conflict solver!

May I add, always for something very mundane like, the colour of the shirt... Oh, the other day was more interesting - which was the biggest dinosaur.

Blek! I don't even wanna get involved at the first place. AND DON'T FORCE ME TO USE THE RED FLAG, BOYS!

A wishing mermaid

Gooly caught a beautiful mermaid (guess who? *wave wave*) who gives away wishes at the pool yesterday.

While covering her bosoms with one hand, and placing the other on her forehead for dramatic effect, she wept, "Please let me go, I will grant you a wish. I am a magic mermaid.."

"No, you are not! You are a fish. I am gonna cook you and eat you up!" he said while being cheered on by his fishing partner, Ada.

The mermaid retorted, "I'm not gonna play if I can't be a mermaid. Quick! Say you wish and let me go!" (I still have 5 more laps to go, mind you. I am not here to splash water like you little tots.)

And she flipped her golden amber hair that hung below her waist.

"Ok. I wish for you!" the boy decided confidently.

"What dya mean? You wish for me?"

"You! I wish for you. My mahmee."

"You don't want anything else?"

"No. You. I only want you."

And he swam away.

The mermaid sat on a rock and started singing a melancholy tune.

"Oh my beautiful child..."

The end.

What would you wish for? (that I stop singing? :P)

Vomit

Are we plagued with assumptions and presumptions?

Like..

If we saw an obese, we'd think: ATE TOO MUCH! WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH!

Assumptions/presumptions~

Like...

If we saw a friend online on a beautiful Saturday morning, we'd think: LOSER! NO LIFE! (Ya, I am the one online on a beautiful Saturday morning :P)

Assumptions/presumptions again~

Sometimes when I am having an important conversation, my mind doesn't quite follow the flow, and I'd go "Have I just been assumed/presumed/misunderstood?"

Take for example..

Yesterday I visited Gooly's school, met the principal and asked the necessary questions. For those uninitiated, Gooly was born in January, thus eligible to start his primary education a year earlier (should we go back to Malaysia.) So I asked the principal if he could go to K2, instead of K1.

Immediately I was presumed/assumed to be KIASU!

In her words, she said, "Your child will VOMIT if you pushed him too hard!" (and she made a retching sound)

No, no, no, no.. you don't know me. I am anything BUT kiasu.

I'm asking because I wanted to know.

No, no, no.. I don't want my child to VOMIT *retching sound*

Yes yes yes.. If pushed too hard, they will VOMIT! *retching sound*

Geeez.................... I was only asking! Don't assume/presume I am expecting him to gain a degree by next year!

*retching sound*

It's kindergarten...... Vomit mud kwai?

(also not looking at Gg's profile pics) (THIS ONE REALLY BIG LOUD RETCHING SOUND) Sometimes she goes by the pseudonym Gargles.

How to become human..

Received this email this morning. As I do always delete forwarded mails unintentionally, I have decided to post this up here, as a reminder to myself. Maybe some of you may have received the same mail. Otherwise, listen to what Mr. Carlin has to say, ok?

Anyways, who is George Carlin? I will google him up later. He seems to have the same intellectual mind as Benjamin Franklin. Very sensible people of the past. Rare species of the current pack.

***

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ' I love you ' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.



George Carlin

Today I Make You Think

For a four and half year old, he sure knows a lot about science.

We breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide.

True?

What about when we fart?

What kinda gas compositions do we emit?

Okayyy.... Now my brain starts clicking, the wheels are turning...

If there is an answer to that, how do we know if the answer is true? Did the scientist capture the gas in plastic bags or canisters? Did they run tests on litmus paper? If so, how did participants of the research knew when they will fart? Did they feed them with lots of bean to ensure lots of gas?

*smirk*

I admit. I was a bit stumped when Gooly asked that question. Based on past experiences, I know not to rely on you guys for answers. Instead, I went tap -tap-tapping the keyboards straight to my trusted G.O.O.G.L.E sites.

All about farts - I typed.

Ho ho ho..... I found a GEM. Not so for the knowledge contained in there but.... I realized that there are many people who wonder about kentut and are not shy to ask anything and everything about it, like moi and moi son. (Simply. I don't speak or read French.)

Among the many questions that made me laugh my infamous snort- like-pig laughter were:

a. Is it possible for a talented person to earn a living through flatulence? (Sinkar, this could be your chance to be famous!)


b. Is it normal for dogs to like the smell of human farts? (Liucas, I know your answer already! Don't say out, she will not feed you for 100 days!)


c. What is the best position for farting? (imho, while doing a hand stand in the swimming pool.)


d. Do fish fart? (Tuti and Tutu, RIP.. But I suppose out of boredom, you did dare each other to do the stunts of pushing air through the rear end.)


e. Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart? (GG, that day you said you sat on Milo...hmmmm?)


f. If you fart in the bathtub, is the water polluted and should you refill the tub? (I don't care. I don't have a tub. I want to know about swimming pool.)


g. Is it weird to enjoy farting? (Sinkar, back to you.)


h. Is it common for people to enjoy smelling their own fart? (GG, I know you like other people's. That is uncommon!)


i. Can farting be considered sexy? (IF done by me.. 99.99% yes)



*snort snort*

I love laughing at one in the morning.

*snort snort*

(Is there a way to control this snorting? It's embarassing!)

Kuki and more

Many times I regard myself as crazy and insane. Impulsive too.

If you like, a rebel (in a red beret) suits my characteristics also.

Why this sudden confession? Did I murder the person I hate most? Nope.

I just baked. Crazy and insane..totally impulsive. The rebel in me will surface in due course.

I spent hours at the aisle deciding to get married or not to make muffins, cakes, cookies or agar agar.

Muffins, I don't have the whatchamacallit... the cup tins..?? So, sorry...can't bake muffins.

Cakes, I don't have the...whatshouldicallit...the rectangular/roundish tins?? Thus, can't bake cakes either.

Agar agar...kindergarten stuff. *yawn*

Cookies....oooh.. interesting. The cookie cutter is darn cute. Butterfly shape- nice. I shall bake cookies then. ;-)

Now the ingredients. D'oh! I don't have one! Like I cared. I am a rebel - nothing stops me! How hard is it to figure out the recipe? Not at all! *tilt my already tilted beret*

Oh..don't forget the rolling pin! Gotta have a rolling pin for cookies! *feeling smart*

So we got home. And out of respect for all bakers, I decided to search for some recipes online. Found one that uses all of my ingredients, called Chocolate Chip Cookie.

But dang, the rebel in me is dominant. I.. I.. I.. seriously, didn't know what I did..But the first batch of cookies did not look like cookies in the oven.

They were lumpy. I didn't even get to use my butterfly cutter. Hmmph! And the roller? Double hmmph! Now I can use it to hit GG's head.

These cookies were a cross breed of muffin, cake and cookies. So I added more flour without even measuring. Simply hantam!

(I will write a letter of apology to Persatuan Kek dan Biskut for disrespecting recipes.)

After adding the extra 'flower', they were less lumpy. I dubbed my creation KUKI, which albeit looked not quite like cookies, but tasted just like them.

I was feeling a bit low... my baking adventure was a big flop! (Of course, rite? Recipes are created for a reason, rite?)

BUT! Papah came back and took a whiff..and said, "Something smells good!" and when he put one kuki into his mouth, he actually went, "Hmmmm...... nice!"

(I looked at him for 10 whole seconds to ensure that he didn't spit out into the potted plant.)

So, my spirits lifted. I may be a baker some day. *muffle giggles*

Tadaaaaaa! Presenting Kuki.....

And yesterday, I decided to boil some herbal tea.




Gooly was coughing. But after drinking those akar rumput rampai, he stopped coughing this morning.

Want to know the miracle concoction?

Sorry..can't tell you.. because.. I bought the package which was written in French. I don't know the name or the ingredients. But I bought it anyway cos there is a picture of waterfall in front.


Sure it's leung cha, right? Takkan tongkat ali.......

And papah drank it, he said, "Mmmm... nice."

Deja vu.

Hmm..now I think he seems a bit fake. Just a bit. It seems rehearsed. Ha ha.

In conclusion.. I am one crazy person..who assumes things too much.

i.e waterfall = leung cha.

And this morning, I realized my SPF 30 cream tube is also written in Thai. What makes me think it's face cream?

I dunno. But I have been using it on my face for months.

SORT PLUG!

Kahleh feh

You know...

...sometimes we think about things of the past all of the sudden. Things that are tucked safely in the cerebellum and medulla oblongata (I watch too much Grey's) and out of the blue, they just flash before our eyes? And we go, "Gosh, I nearly forgot about them!"

And they are important things!

So I better write them down here before they go play hide and seek again.

1. I was interviewed and featured in a local newspaper before, circa 1999 and 2003, twice, on some very, VERY important matters like education and fashion. It was a centre fold c/w my too-fake smile picture. Just like a playboy magazine.

2. I was interviewed and featured in a local magazine before. On some very, VERY important matters like... (I forgot what!). Yang penting, my face was in it. Yang tak penting, my smile was fake again.

3. I was in F & N oleng jus advertisement when I was in standard six along with 100 other students. I was the one, third from the right, on the 78th row..(Kakakka.. Can't even see my nostril hair ler..)

4. I was in a tv game show. Malay game show, di mana saya dikehendaki berbalas balas pantun and bersajak pajak. And I won the first round, got a Crocodile watch and some hotel vouchers for my brothel biz . I qualified for the gala 100th episode in which I had to wear a Baju Kebaya which made me look like a datin princess. Go figure.

5. I was interviewed and featured in a documentary for a Salem event. They took half an hour to film the whole thing, and then edited it into a 5 minute junk.

6. I was interviewed for a Rancangan Yang Amat Membosankan for RTM 1, in which I was told to repeat what I said for about 5 times. And each time I could act as though I was saying it for the first time.

7.. oh.. and KLUE mag on designs and how much I don't know about it.

And the moment you have been waiting for......

Yes! YES! I looked like shit in all the above!

No wonder I try to forget!

And when I thought, who would watch RTM1 or pay attention to some crappy news reports, someone would tell me, "Eh, saw u on TV" or "Eh, that one you ah on newspaper?" the very next day.

Dang!

But still, they are fun stuff to reminisce and to tell my grandchildren about. "You know, your ahma was once famous....."*

*Intentional bragging and exaggeration

Taking the plunge

We love to swim.

Almost everyday at 4, you can page us at the pool.

Minutes later, the regulars will come. In cutesy swimsuits showing off their chewable thighs. I mean the kids, of course.

And their regular activity consists of jumping into the pool. Again and again.





And again.







And again.

The bigger boys sometimes run at top speed and make a high jump.

The sillier girls sometimes twirl around until they see stars and fall into the pool.

I love to watch them do it. The gleeful laugh. The 'Geronimo' shouts. And the big splash.

I reckon it will be fun. Cos BIG hippos like me don't dive or jump into water.

Unless on a quiet day, and nobody is at the pool.

..and my son is bored with me cos I don't plunge.

And he keeps saying, "Try it. At least try.." (My exact words when trying to get him to eat the greens!)

I muster all my courage and heave my big ass up the pool. He says, "Hold my hand!"

I stand at the edge. I feel giddy.

The water is too blue! I can't do it!

"Don't be scared! Nothing to be scared of!" I hear.

I can't do it! The water is too deep!

"JUMP!" and he pulls me into the water.

ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH~

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

*

*

*

I kid you not. I shriek like a hyena. If the guard-ess could speak English, she would tell me "Don't disrupt the harmony of the Kingdom of Thailand."

It is not fun at all.

I don't know why you kids do it!

Don't ask me do it ever again!

"It was scary! My heart nearly jumped out" I told him. He felt my chest and said, "Your heart is still there. Don't worry."

EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!

And wipe that mahmee-is-so-silly grin off your face!

Cis! Just leave me at the corner next time.

Yet to attend one crazy wedding

How cool is this! Fun fun fun! Sporting dong!

The truth hurts

I have been told that I am brutal.

Many times.

Usually I don't offer my two cents. But sometimes when the setting is right i.e at a melancholy-looking cafe with dim lighting, people tell me things that bug them.

The problem is I have an innate ability to 'read' people's characters. I try to shake off this 'habit' of analyzing people and their problems , but it has been stuck with me ever since I-don't-know-when. Don't get me wrong. I don't go RUMINATE about your problems, but the thoughts come willingly whether I am shitting, driving or digging my nose.

I don't like this either. Because I don't like being disliked.

I am not judgmental.

I am just truthful.

Admit it. Ignorance is bliss.

I wish I don't know some things which I already knew.

And what I know are usually horrible truths.

(Not to me, but to the person involved because nobody wants to know the truth.)

Don't bring me to cafes, ok?

When he goes to school

Because we are joined at the hip, almost inseparable, the topic of Gooly going to school is always being discussed. It's what the professionals call mental preparation a.k.a brainwashing.

Me: You are going to school soon, you know.

Him: Ya, I know. Are you gonna be in school too?

Me: (For the umpteenth times) No, I will be at home waiting for you.

Him: What are you gonna do at home?

Me: Err...I'll be cleaning the house (yeah right!), ironing clothes (guffaw), and missing you.

Him: Are you gonna be OK? Will you be bored?

Me: (A lil surprised about his concern.) Oh, don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

Him: You can play with my toys. And read my books. Then you won't be bored. I'll come home, then you will be OK.

Me: *grinning from ear to ear*

Isn't it strange (in a nice way) that he is the one doing the brainwashing instead? I had my speech prepared, but it seemed totally out of place to even start the preamble. And when he was being suggestive, he looked so nonchalant and adorably grown up.

The food arrived and interrupted our tete-a-tete. I think he would have given me a reassuring pat on the shoulder if not for the interruption :P

If I have to choose just one best friend in the whole wide world, it would be my son. He is the sweetest. And he seems to know in advance that I'll be the one suffering from separation anxiety instead of him.

*groan*

I hope I wont do anything silly like standing at the school gate for hours.

That will be so uncool. Blek.

Totally unrelated. But don't you think that is the silliest grin, and the snuggest Pjs? Gooly was one then. :) Oh, I see.. his hair has been messy all this while. Ah.. he was like a teddy bear. Huggable. Pinchable. Bite-able.

The Mistiri of the Missing Cap

It rained a bit earlier this morning.

So when I was forcibly awoken by Gooly, I went over to the balcony to check for some dewdrops or raindrops or whatnots, to be photographed.

The camera was on the table. I took it, uncapped it, and started cicak cicak-ing.

And then...

And then...

The cap was no where to be found!

From the table to the balcony, it would probably take around 10 dainty steps.

Table - empty.

Balcony - vacant.

In between table and balcony - Gooly's big ass.

Arrggghhhh!

Where did it go?

To date, I have lost my xxxxxxxl underwear, one side of my pearl ear-ring, Gooly's Dinosaur Song Book and now the camera cap!

Should I report to the guard downstairs? Ish!

Yesterday's The Mistiri of Missing Misti was solved. But now I cannot solve the mistiri of my missing camera cap!

My camera is naked~

Addendum: I FOUND IT! YAY! I am such a super sleuth.

Yehhooo!

Yesterday Thailand celebrated Mother's Day. Unlike the rest of the world, they celebrate not in May.

So in May, we didn't celebrate Mother's Day because according to Papah, we are in Thailand, thus must abide the Thai calendar. However, during previous years, when the Thai Mother's Day arrived, he told me, we don't celebrate on that day, cos, duh! we are not Thais.

Cis bedebah right?

Not to be trapped in the same booby this year, I asked him online the day before:

Me: Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Bought pressie for me already?

Him: We also not Thai. Celebrate Mother's Day in May laa.. (same old trick, that devil!)

Me: Kns!

Him: Oklah, what you want?

Me: Bag la, what else?

Him: Ok let me discuss with committee (Gooly).

Me: No need. Your committee is on my side wan.

Him: We do lucky draw lah. Main prize is your bag.

Me: Ok lor.

So that night, I sauntered into the room, expecting some tooth picks actions. Lo and behold, Papah announced that his committee member (Gooly) was not co-operative because "If mahmee wants a bag, just get it for her.."

Bwahahaha... gotta love my son, eh? He is 100% on my side. And I swear I didn't brainwash him, ok? I was all game for some lucky draw fun.

So the next day, I was thinking where to get my Rm20 bag. And Papah suddenly announced we were going to LV store!

Fullamakkkkkk! I nearly died of happiness okay? (Well, he added the joke about going and then u-turning back. And it was funny because I knew he WAS not gonna make a u-turn. Hell no.)

Between hyperventilating and at cloud 9, I suddenly

...felt....

I ...

.. don't

.... need

....another...

bag....

Crazy? *self slap* Sure? *self cubit*

BUT!

I do need a camera! An ultra cool one! That goes cicak cicak cicak cicak!

*

*

*

And so that's what I got. : ) Presenting my new baby.....


No regrets! This babe kicks ass! Thank you, papah! And yes, I solemnly promise not to ask for another bag...

....until next year! ;-)

Who wants to camwhore for me?

Free lunch

Best pals

We got a small package of goodies yesterday - 2 packets of chicken rice, a mini M & M, and a snack with a note:

Bla bla bla bla... for little brave boy : ) bla bla bla

It's from Ada and family.

I am a sucker for keeping mementos. This one is definitely going into the tin biscuit.

It's nice to be appreciated.

Kaifan, hoe hoe sik!

Sharing and the Buuuuunnnnn~

Do your kids share?

Well, mine does. *ahem*

Do you have problems propagandizing the idea of sharing is caring?

Well, I don't. *nose high high*

BUT I have greater problems.

The way he shares is, to say the least, very 'kiksau' or problematic.

First of all, he volunteers to share, even without me goading.

"Do you want some of my crackers?"

Nice, eh? Before you say "Awwwww..." let's see what happens next.

Just as you reach out your hands to receive the generous offer, he will say:

"Crackers are junk food. You shouldn't eat so much, you know." And he puts the crackers into his mouth and starts munching in the noisiest possible way.

Chartoe, eh?

On some days, he is much better.

He lets you take the crackers. BUT just as you were about to put them in your mouth, he asks:

*

*

*

"Do you want to share back with me?"



WT...............???


Usually I say NO!!!

Then he will lecture me about being generous and unselfish, and the other 101 sharing mantras. Ngam ngam cham cham until I give him back the crackers.

Anjua? Awhuit not? Share lei share hui, takorkat!

***

Today I was famished. There was one custard bun which belonged to Gooly.

I asked politely if I could eat it.

He was very reluctant. He hesitated. Then he suggested that we share it even though he had just eaten his dinner.

Ok, takpe.. I am a sharing person. So I broke the one-gulp-can-finish small bun into half, and passed it to him, which we both gulped down in record time.

When he found out I had finished my share, he started crying, "That was my favourite bun..." (thinking that I should share my share with him, understand?)

Ok, blood started to rush upwards toward my brain. I started lecturing him the whole idea of sharing again. About caring. About loving. About equality. About a hungry mother can really whoop his ass.

He then in his most pitiful voice said:

NEXT TIME I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE BUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN~

Correction. He wailed the above with tears streaming down with exasperated breath. When the BUUUUNNNNN~ was uttered, it was with such strong emotion that you would think he was talking about his dead turtle (not that he has any).

So I retorted that if he were to give it to me so unwillingly, I wouldn't want it either.

I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE BUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN~

Put that on repeat mode for about 10 times.

It was starting to get funny, seriously because his lips quivered so much at the word of BUUUUUNNNNNNNNN~~~~~

Sigh! It was only a custard bun, son. I mean ... a custard BUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN~~ Why so emotional?

Finally, GG's method worked. I told him, the next time if he really did give me a whole buuuunnnnnn without causing any drama, I'd get him TWO BUUUUUUNNNNNS the next day.

That did it! Phew! He could say BUN properly without feeling too sad.

Thanks GG. (Turn around vomit)

Addendum: After reading K. Keat's comment, I realized that its unfair for Gooly that I reported only the above incident on the topic of sharing. He does share with other people, no problem at all. And usually he offers, "Do you want some?" with bated breath. And when you decline, you could almost sense his shoulders relaxed - glad that you didn't eat his food. Kakkaka. But the main thing is, he does have manners to at least ask. And even if you toook a bite or two, he is alright. He throws a fuss only with me and his papah... Hmm... maybe our bites are too gargantuan?

The night after..

I'm writing about my after-thoughts, post yesterday's incident.

Though I may sounded light about him falling into the pond, but there are emotions stirring in my heart, in my head since yesterday.

When he was sobbing, I soothed and calmed him by promising him one big ice cream from the 7 eleven nearby. His first respond was, "Do you want to have some?"

My son is a giving boy. I am proud, but it aches my heart too. I worry he will be taken advantage of. I am scared his heart will get broken. It's a cruel world out there. I may be living in a cave for some time now but I do know stuff. *grin*

Sigh.. but lets keep the positive vibes.

So when we went back up, I bathed him while checking for injuries. It has been weeks since he could clean himself, but yesterday I just couldn't let him do it on his own. I lathered him with soap, each stroke tender and with love. We spoke quietly about what happened. I reiterated about safety, without sounding too much like he had done something wrong.

And then we went out for dinner. Lasagna. He had wanted to try cos Garfield likes it but I always thought 190 baht was too pricey. Yesterday, I didn't care about the price or that it's too laden with cheese. If Lasagna is what he wanted, Lasagna is what he got.

When papah came home, he marveled at his bravery. He thought it was chivalrous of him to help a girl.

I felt compelled to write all these down.

Because I look at Gooly differently now. With so much awe. If the same thing happened to adults, we probably won't be bothered to pick up the wallet. Cos we don't care that our friend is upset. And we don't care cos it's just a wallet. It's silly to fall into a pool of water for a stupid wallet.

While rewinding the whole scene, I have asked many times, "Why?"to him and to myself. Why are kids so .... I don't even know what is the word. We, adults are just not like them. We don't think like them. We are so selfish, so scared of everything, so self-centered.

I am sure he wasn't trying to be brave. Does he know what is chivalrous? I don't think so. It just seem natural to help a friend in need. That's it. As simple as that. No big deal.

Someone once said, "He is bound for something big." That's a grand compliment. I had laughed at the comment. Now at 12.30am, watching him sleep, I laugh again, cos heck, he has done something big already!

Ya, he didn't save a living thing. But his action... his chivalry is equivalent to something as heroic. At least, to me.

On this day, right at this moment, Gooly, I want to tell the whole world that I am proud of you. Nothing else matters.. you have a good heart.

You have left your 'markings' in mahmee's and papah's hearts so profoundly, and I am sure, Ada's as well.

Way to go, son.

Gooly jatuh kolam

This is what the newspaper clipping said:

At approximately 5.32pm, a boy was sighted running toward the Bridge at a high class residence, 50 km away from Bangkok metropolitan. He was drenched from head to toe, with a shoe missing. As he ran, he was shouting, "I fell into the pond!"

The Mahmee, aged 20 was reported to be calm and composed. "I reckoned that being panicky will not help the situation," she said.

"I have to admit I was speechless for a while. And I kept checking if he had any injuries. Luckily the pond wasn't very deep."

Upon further investigation, a few eye-witnesses said that the boy, named Gooly was trying to retrieve his best friend's wallet which fell into the pond.

His best friend, Ada, also aged 4 was visibly upset and refused to give any comments.

"I was only trying to save Ada's wallet. I fell into the pond. I wasn't scared. I was wet and I lost my shoe!" Gooly said at the end of the interview at the posh lobby of the residence.

For his bravery and selfless-ness act, Gooly will be awarded the Scout Honour Award at the upcoming Pesta Tanglung Festival scheduled in September. He will also be nominated for the Mascot role for Sukanneka 2010.

***

The above report is only half true. :P You go figure which is which.

Peeps! I am one proud mahmee. He was so helpful! Yes, my heart broke into pieces seeing his pitiful drenched look with one shoe missing... But at the same time it swelled with pride at his self-less act.

When he came to me, his major concern was still about the float-away wallet, not about his injury nor his drenched attire. For one whole day, the image of him running toward me with tears streaming down his cheeks and one shoe missing kept repeating in my mind. It will be one image etch in my heart forever.

Ada, his best friend here was very guilty and heart broken as well at his mishap. She thinks it's her fault. Poor thing. I assured her and her mom that it was only an accident.

It was sweet that her mom vowed to treasure the wallet in this life. Well, the wallet was given to her by Gooly, you see.

I'm trying not to romanticize the whole thing. But, how many of us, have such a childhood tale to tell, I ask you?

I'm sure Ada will remember Gooly, who fell into the pond in an attempt to rescue her wallet, forever!

Wow, that's something. My son, a hero : )

But dunno why, sumhow...like Misti said, my heart sng sng, remembering the drenched image of him.. Sigh. Poor boy jatuh kolam.

My First Lie

I remember weird things about the past. When I said past, I meant at least 30 years of history. I have a very clear recollection about my childhood.

What people said.. What people did... My first encounter with a Cantonese friend.. My first period - they are all right here on my hard disk. *tap tap temple*

So now the truth - the first lie that I remember.

I was in standard 1. And to ease the congested traffic, the school had implemented a new system whereby buses could only go to back gate while students whose parents came with poot-poot car could wait at the front gate.

I, of course traveled in style a.k.a via the Bas Sekolah. My bus driver was a very stubborn man who gave very little respect to laws and regulations. He refused to wait at the designated area, because it would be jammed up with other heavy vehicles like his. So smarty pants decided to just park at the front gate, blatantly abusing the school rules.

The class teacher knew each and every child's mode of transportation, and thus ensured that we go to the 'right' gate. I don't know how the other students cheated, but the distance from the back gate to the front gate was quite monumental for my short pudgy legs.

So everyday I would run with all my might to catch my bus. And everyday I was the last to clamber on. Uncle bus would TSK loudly while the other riders looked gleeful as though they had bet correctly on, "Who will be last AGAIN today.."

One day, I have had enough! I decided not to be last! When the bell rang, I made a forward leap toward the front gate, and Mrs Rama (gosh! I remember her name!) shouted, "Hey you! You take the bus, go to the back gate!"


SHIT!

I turned around and said, "My daddy is coming today."

There were two lies there. The obvious is my daddy ain't no coming. And the second? I don't call my father daddy.

Right then, I could feel my cheeks redden. I was about to faint cos I reckoned the daddy part was a bit fake. Then she nodded her head, looking slightly suspicious.

I quickly ran for it. A sly grin spread across my perspired face. Cool, I am quite a natural, I thought.

When I climbed on the bus, Uncle was surprised, and gave me a thumbs up, and muttered something about, "About time you learn..."

I took a seat, sweating profusely, with a mixture feelings of awe, happiness, and guilt.

Strange I can remember, huh? Do you, of yours?

Oh, and the following year, I framed a boy. I fell into the longkang myself and accused him of pushing me down.

Wakakakakak. Not funny meh? Evil but funny..

Leaves from Heaven

Do you look at leaves? Like really study their different colours and hues and structures and shapes?

I used not to have time for that. *chuckles*

Ok, fine.. I just didn't notice them.

But with a child, you tend to look at world's finer things i.e fluffy clouds and fallen leaves.

Yesterday, while strolling with his friend, Gooly picked up a leave, and with his head looking UP, he said," A leaf. It's from Heaven."

Look..heaven and sky, hell and die, aren't exactly famous topics between us. When he said it, he sounded tenderly sweet. I was curious why he said that.

The best time to discuss it was of course before bedtime. I fluffed up his pillow, and he plopped down comfortably. And I began..."Why did you say the leaf is from Heaven?"

"Because God made trees and God made leaves for everyone so we can breathe oxygen. God made them in Heaven."

So there is a little Science and a little religion thrown in together. It's good that he combines them both. Something like 'matter, anti-matter' theory (from Angels and Demons fiction).

I don't know.. amidst the craziness in the world, it's comforting to know my child believes and knows there is Heaven and God, and knows how to find logic in his own way.

Kids are innocent, non-skeptic, pro-believer. What happened to us? You...YOU ESPECIALLY!! :P

Killing Brain Cells #100

That number is fictional. But I think it's not too outrageous to say that he had killed 99 brain cells in his four years of living with me 24/7.

"Why are armpits ticklish?"

a. how I know?
b. ticklish lah! What you mean why?
c. because you will be scared of you wife
d. go watch tv.

Unless you have an (e), I would have to choose one from the above.

Today no mood to google.

Even though I know I will get crap answers from you.

But I so need the laugh. And Biology and Body Nerves are too boring for us..

First day of class

Your pencil case is here...

And you tumbler here...

Pencil and eraser this compartment ok?

If you need to go toilet, tell the teacher. Know how to unzip your pants or not?

Yada yada yada... and kancheong-ness from me.

Meanwhile, he was very 'selamba'. Nodded his head a few times - don't know he was listening or not.

It was his first mandarin class. A trial, actually. He picked his own pair of socks. A striking blue pair which neither quite match his shoes nor pants nor shirts nor bag. But because he said, " I am a big boy now, let me decide," I relented.

He crossed over his 'yauyingdoesei' skull bag and announced, "I'm ready."

There goes my little boy! Off to school... sniff sniff! (It's not a school, Mahmee.. it's only a two hour class!*roll eyes*)..But but but...that's my baby... crossing the bridge to the big bad world outside! Be brrrrave, my child!

*hold white handkerchief and wave wave* Bubye! Gooly!...Remember to drink water! Buhbye! (actually looking forward to two hours FREE TIME of.. massages? mahjung? coffee? whatever laa!)

Alas, he failed his trial class. Hahahaha! Actually the teacher only speaks Thai and Mandarin, and he, neither.. So he can't join the class. What a pity!(esp. for me!)

But on that morning, I thought to myself..

Oh my.. when he really goes to school, I would be so proud and lonely. What a weird combo.

Eh, why so happy? Class finished so fast geh? What did teacher say? Oh, you got kicked out ka? Ok, never mind. Jom balik...

250709

Whose birthday? You asking? Nobody's. Shhhhhhhh~ *wink wink papah*

Gooly saujanjan. But I like the rustic feel.

Looney Balooney Clan. Only I am normal.

Hamyu Steamboat. Yum!

Tsunami-that-never-came, I hate you! If not for you, we'd have been here, like last year.

Eh, play time is that?

Pada suatu hari, I met with an acquaintance who told me the most preposterous erm.. uh... ahm.. what word should I substitute here? Ok, I tell you what she had to do, and you tell what adjective to describe the scenario here.

Ok, before that.. a lil background of meself.

During my kindergarten year and babyhood, we stayed in this bungalow with a huge compound with other cousins and their families. After school, we ran around in circles till I threw up or on some really bored-shit day, someone would organize a Hari Sukan, filling up 7 up bottles with water, which I was never allowed to partake, cos apparently I slowed down the actions. Durh! I never wanted to play those stupid nincompoop games anyways! *do wateva sign*

Later on, my family moved out on our own. Then, my daily after-school routine consisted of dropping off my bag, and cyling to house no. 99 down the road. Sometimes it got eventful where Dungeons or Dragons was on TV and we got to watch it together while munching packets of Mamee. Other days, we just mucked around.

Ah... sweet sweet childhood of tuition-less days.


So many times I have been told, things are not the same anymore. We can't possibly raise our kids the same way as before. And can I say:

WHY NOT?????????

I hate toys. Especially battery operated ones. When I say, Gooly, go play, I mean go downstairs, run around in circles, catch a tadpole, kick a cat , throw slippers, etc. You know, anything impromptu? Making up games? Getting into mischief?

..which brings us to the story about my 'friend' (not very close) who organizes play -time for her daughter. Usually she invites three other girls. So, there will be 4 of them. Yay! Can play mahjung...

Of course not. It's a very organized weekly programme. Very professionally done, where the itinerary includes structured role-playing of princesses, fairies and ... *gasp* (I don't know what girls play lah) And..deng deng deng deng....the kengchau thing is because there are 4 of them, she will have to buy 4 sets of everything whenever she goes shopping:

4 dolls
4 doll houses
4 princess dresses
4 wands
4 napek feathery bags
..and other 4s.

And all the items must be identical because *listen to my droning voice and look at my eyes rolling* the girls wouldn't share, and always want the same things.

So she gave birth to one daughter but ended up spending money like she had quadruplets.

Tell me, is that:
a. preposterous

OR

b. you want to shut me up becos "goolymama, you don't have a daughter, you have no right to say anything. You don't know how girls behave becos you have a modicum amount of male chromosomes in you."

Fine. I will shut up.

One last thing, if you bring your kids to my place, there are no toys. I can give you empty boxes. Go build a castle. I don't care.

Stop giving me that look. Gooly is fine~ He is happy.... he will be a grown man, with good memories of his childhood of Transformer Box Costume, and Toilet Roll Rocket.

...erm..right?