Thursday, October 25, 2012

Cerita shex

Gooly is a bookworm. He reads every day, every night, every opportunity. He mainly likes non-fictions, stuff that send me straight to Yawnland. He has many science books, and of late has been particularly interested in Human Body.

So one day he was at the chapter of Reproduction.

Jeng jeng jeng.

I saw the opened book, and my super sonic speed reading skill allowed me to detect key words like sperm, penis, stiff, vagina. I walked away citing the sudden need to do laundry at 10pm as an excuse.

The next day, he asked, "Mom, whats the meaning of stiff?"


Stiff? You mean Steve?

Kakakkaka. I was trying to kid myself to loosen up my nerves. Oh btw i was driving, so it was a very very "dangerous" conversation. I was holding the steering wheel so stiffly that my knuckles went white. Thats stiff, son.

"the book says penis gets stiff.."

Uha..*de-accelerate to 30km/h.

"...and it goes in the "vegenta"...

Uha...Vagina, you mean. *parks car at road side*

"ya..thats what i said. The Vagenta. Thats how the sperms go to the tummy."


"and do you know how twins are made?"

Hooooo! You can Tell me all about it! *starts engine and accelerate again*

And that was it! Cheh..he already knew everything (except mis-calling miss virginia as ms vagenta which sounds so buttery). And the process of reproduction isnt exactly the point of interest for him. He was more interested in genes, cells, etc - all the nerdy book wormish stuff.

Oh well..not that i am complaining.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The monster

Finally, after Lolly came into our world, papah and i knew what is it like to have a tornado in the house, despite her being the youngest of the two. That is because Gooly grew from a helpless, immobile baby straight (kabam!) into adulthood. There was no terrible twos, horrible threes, stressful fours, fives, sixes, etc.

He was amazingly mature. It was like he hit puberty at age two without the hair and crazy hormones. He ate (properly) what we fed him, talked like Oprah (age 2 Oprah), and was very very obedient. We held hands where ever we went. Everytime people talked about difficult toddlers, we were smug and went "pffffthhh" -how difficult can they be. we know........... And this is before she even strikes age two. Oh the horrorifying tornado, loose canon, opened it whatever catastrophic simile you want.

To date, she has applied sticky mosquito balm all over her hair and face. Organic. They are darn expensive creams ok!! *clutch heart* exclusively from US ok! *wipe tears*. Half a tin gone on her (cute) face.

...she tells you she wants water to accompany her meals. Because she drinks so little, we jump and retrieve the h2o for her. And she pourrrrrs them into her rice. *tears out hair* and she declares victory by shoving the plate onto the floor.*screams*

... she climbs. Like up to the roof, if no one stops her.

... She runs aimlessly at the malls. Screams at restaurants. Pinch waitresses butts (oh wait..thats papah)

... She needs a good pat to lul her to sleep. Problem is, she will direct you to pat her bum, and changes location every 5 seconds. She wants the bum, no..the, the, back to the bum.. It can go on till the cow comes home. Same goes for the song singing. Wheels on the Itsy If you are happy...gah! Go to sleep already!!!

... She hits her brother, snatches his glasses, kicks his butt (not yet, but soon, i am sure)

Sure, i smile a teensy bit while writing these (except the last one. I dont like it one bit cos he is my baby too.)but at the point of time when it happened, i really wanted to recant my vow of not hitting babies.

Having said that, it is amazing how we can love naughty babes too. When she is asleep (or sick) we go all mushy and gooey, forgiving all her mis-adventures. Her tiny hands are so cute and soft to kiss.

It is strange how her size befits my body frame as though she is custom-made for me, no matter how much she has grown. When she was a teeny weeny newborn, i felt she was the missing piece of my life-size puzzle. And now she is still the piece that fits perfectly into my body and soul.

Its gonna be a long hell of a ride with you, lolly...We will get angry and threaten you with the canes, in due course. scared....

Actually, i am the one who is scared. Gah! Parenting books......gotta buy them.

Friday, October 19, 2012


For the life of me, i cannot Understand why lolly hates bananas. When she was younger, she would shiver like she seen a ghost whenever we fed her that. It became worse later that she would throw up whatever little morsel which managed to go down her esophagus. And since then she would shake her head vehemently whenever she sees the energy-packed fruit.

And so we stopped feeding her that.

Until yesterday...i thought its all about psychology. So i peeled off the skin, mashed it up and told her, "Try it..its Kapu."

Kapu is a good fruit name, dont you think?

Anyways, she was getiing all suspicious..but took an itsy bitsy bite to humour me.

Blasphemy! The look on her face! She went, "Nana!" - all horrified!

If she could talk i am sure she would go, "WTF! Its banana you feeding me! Whats wrong with you? I hated them when i was 6 months old! I remember the taste ok..what were you thinking? That i am 18 mths old? I"m 19 mths old, for fruitio's sake!!"

Well, her face surely said something along those lines...


Its so hard to feed this girl. She eats durian tho...but thats not like the most ideal fruit to feed a toddler. Why..cos its my favourite too! Dont wanna share-share ler..

After 19 mths..

She finally acknowledges me by calling me..not the typical ma, mom, mama, mummy...

She calls me "HI".

That's like one step above "Oi" (fml)

I didnt kmow she was calling me at first..she just walks in the room and calls out, "hi~" in her cute stitch voice.

Of late, its hi! Hi! Hi! When she sits in her carseat wanting my attention.

Or, "hi-hi-hi-hi" in a super loud crying voice when the dog barks and she searches for me for a hug.

Or, "hi! Ayu?" (translation: mom, where are you?)

I dont know how long she will "hi" me.

Strangely if you ask who is mommy, she points correctly at me. She calls kungkung, nainai, yeye, kuku, papa (oh! Her favourite), owa....

And all i get is a "hi"

Nah..i didnt swear during my pregnancy ah....not my fault ok that she is one tone almost to being vulgar..

Sunday, October 14, 2012


It's those little things you do..

Like waking up with the kids, fixing them breakfast, mopping the floor, washing and hanging out the week's old laundry while i take another hour of snooze.

Like filling up the car i use with fuel, just before you leave.

Like re-parking the cars so mine is accessible.

Like saying shhhhh to the kids cos mahmee is napping (crap, i do zz alot, don't i? Well, its a once a month treat!)

Like suggesting that i sleep (again??) in the other room so that when baby wakes for her milk, i'm not disturbed (but really,i know it's because i snore till the windows shatter)

Like doing silly stuff (letter E shadow - inside joke) to make your son laugh till tears spurted from his rainbowy eyes.

Like loving your daughter so much that for now, she allows no other male species to hold her but you.

All these and more, that i feel many a times that the wisest and the best thing i did for myself was to get hitched by you.

And just like your daughter, i say, tatuu..for loving us.


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