Tatuu

It's those little things you do..

Like waking up with the kids, fixing them breakfast, mopping the floor, washing and hanging out the week's old laundry while i take another hour of snooze.

Like filling up the car i use with fuel, just before you leave.

Like re-parking the cars so mine is accessible.

Like saying shhhhh to the kids cos mahmee is napping (crap, i do zz alot, don't i? Well, its a once a month treat!)

Like suggesting that i sleep (again??) in the other room so that when baby wakes for her milk, i'm not disturbed (but really,i know it's because i snore till the windows shatter)

Like doing silly stuff (letter E shadow - inside joke) to make your son laugh till tears spurted from his rainbowy eyes.

Like loving your daughter so much that for now, she allows no other male species to hold her but you.

All these and more, that i feel many a times that the wisest and the best thing i did for myself was to get hitched by you.

And just like your daughter, i say, tatuu..for loving us.

Father, the second time

To begin with, he didnt like kids much. During his probation period (dating-lah), never once i heard him cooing about babies. He never played with my nephews. In fact he looked at them oddly like they were ...well, odd. His lips didnt even curve up a bit when the babies did silly cute antics.

And then gooly came along. First time dad he became. Some-what awkward, i reckon. He fed him, changed him, but didnt know how to play or talk to him.

I admit i was worried. That gooly wouldnt grow up being close to his papah. But being thick skinned and all, gooly persisted. He would sit on his papah's lap uninvited. He would talk to him in his baby language. He didnt care there was little response from the old man.

As he grew older (Gooly, I mean) began to speak more to be understood, that papah began to really...really enjoy fatherhood. He likes listening to what his son has to say (papah is not much of a talker, he listens (to me) more). He laughs and is amused by the little guy. It took him a while to get here.

One day...looking at my niece, he said aloud that "A little girl is cute also hor." My eyes widened, my mouth formed an "O". Yes, a little girl would complete the family.

And so we had Lolly. Life is beautiful, aint it? We get what we wish, hope, pray for sometimes.

This time, i dunno..could it be age or experience or because she is the little girl that we waited(without realising) for six years, that he became the perfect father?

There are things that he wouldnt do still..ok..maybe with a little reluctance that he does it i.e washing her butt. But i do see vast improvements in his fathering skills.

Once in Bangkok, on a particularly bad bad day, i (who has the patience of a painting artist, ahem!) blew the top, while papah remained cool and smiley. That, i salute and applaud. If it was last time...aiyayayaya..his face would be black like your underwear.

And he is so natural with Lolly. And she, in return is so drawn to him. No man can carry her, except papah.

And what was i thinking about Gooly not being close to him? He idolises him! Well, not really...more like, he likes to make fun of him. Yeah, when i rule the kingdom with an iron ('s fist), he brings the kiddo out for chocolates and ice creams.

There was this other time that he played some silly game with gooly and Ada, and hearsay, INTENTIONALLY fell on the ground and rolled over like JAmes Bond. Geeesh! A Klutz just like his son. But i never imagined him rolling on the the ground, playing with kids.

What would I do without having him around to neutralise an otherwise communist-like family?

The man I loved is growing up to be a father I love even more.

Happy father's day, papah. Your son is out in the park while the little one is taking a nap. They dont know its fathers day. Bet you didnt either. And thats what I love about you too - always nonchalant about commercialised celebrations....like our wedding anniversaries...eh wait. I dont love that nonchalance so much. But i will give you a break. Lets discuss diamonds and pearls tomorrow.


;-)

What happened to us?

Admittedly, when i got married to papah, "happily ever after" wasnt exactly a sure thing. How can people who claim that or something along the line of "found my soul mate" be so sure of forever love? I am not a sceptic, but not a dreamer either. I got married with a mind set of, "lets see where this brings us."

Over the years, we made adjustments, cranked up the tolerance level or just bear with whatever that bugged us.

It was not easy.

And..

Of late, i realised that we dont do that anymore.

We dont even try.

Or be bothered.

Simply because...

We have accepted each other of who we are. It's that or we have grown into more lovable beings. Not sure about me, but he is definately a greater husband, father - a person, in general as he aged.

"Will you hold my hand when we are old?" I asked him the other day because i know he hates questions like this.

"Yes, hon," he humoured me in a super irritating way because he knows I laugh like mad when he copies what others call their wives (read: COPIES, he never calls me dear, hon, darl, sweetie. He calls me OI... Or mama, like gooly)

But yeah.. I can see him holding my hand when we are old. Way much better than when i first met him, dated him, married him.

surprise season 2

Told you! It ws gonna be my turn!

A new bag! Yay! The first one he bought without being told, bribed, threatened or scolded. The first one he bought on his sole proviso!

Love it!

Kate, Louis, say hello to your new sibling, Raya.. (actually that would be Raya version 7.8. I have tons of them, different colours and sizes, collected over the years of staying in Krungthep.)

Shameless

"Mmmm... Yes. I love to hear you say it. Say it one more time.. Yes..Yes..Yes.."

Sounds like a scene from a 'pawn' but really it isn't. You know how the sexperts say we ladies should not be ashamed to tell our partners what we like when we are sexercising? Why can't we do the same thing for other stuff besides shex? I mean like if we want them to say we are pretty/beautiful, we should just copy and paste the idea of the above clause . In other words, why can't we just be SHAMELESS!

Hence the conversation* with papah yesterday:

Me: Do you think I look different?

Him: Huh? Huuuuh?

Me: *roll eyes* My hair! Look!

Him: Huh? *blink blink*

Me: It's longer now! Say it - "You look nice."

Him: You look nice.

Me: Explain why.

Him: *grinning* Cos it's straight.

Me: *whack him with pillow* It was never curly! What other nice things you can say?

Him: That day you look nice. At the airport.

Me: You noticed my eye make up? (obviously knows that he didn't but helping him out here a lil)

Him: Err... yeah.

Me: Ok, you may go now.

And he gave me a peck on the forehead.

If this is not love, I don't know what is.

Disclaimer: This is a bribed post because I got my Delightful already!!!!! Ok, him buying that when he seriously thinks I don't need so many bags is ULTIMATE love! :-)

* Please do not carry such conversations on the phone when he is having an important client meeting or when he is watching football. The ending will not be as nice.

Weird humour

So the other day.. a friend wondered how I could stand Papah being away so often?

I droned away the well rehearsed lines in a robotic mode - i-am-used-to-it. it's-due-to-unavoidable-circumstances-that-he-has-to-travel. i-have-long-accepted- and-understood-his nature-of-work.

I reckon it was a little bit like answering one of the judges questions in a beauty pageant (for my level, it has to be at least Ms. World...).

You know.. answering the right way like this -


What would you wish for for Christmas?
I would like WORLD PEACE! *flashes sparkly smile*

*judges nod and audience clap*

I wasn't lying when I answered my friend's question, you know. What I said was partially true. Not the entire truth cos there are times that I didn't want to be understanding. There are times that I sit on bed and go wawawawawa, why is papah going again? But most of the time I am subdued in manner. Why did I skip the wawaawawawa part when answering my friend's question?

I donch know!

Maybe I am carved out to be a Beauty Queen - diplomatic, predictable, unoriginal (like sinkar's Dvds) and boring to the core?

Either that or I am just a bloody liar.

And a hypocrite.

Anyways.. for conversation sake, I reiterated the topic to Papah - what my friend asked, and what I have answered.

He nodded a bit, with his fingers scratching his protruding chin and replied, "Good girl.."

WUT?? Gud girl?? You gotta be kidding me. That's not in your script. Check and read your next line again, papah.









Movie title: What A Good Wife
Scene 1/take 2

Mom : So I told her, that I am used to it. Not that you want to travel all the time. If you could, you would want to stay with us. I still love you..

Papah : Gee, wife. You are a gem. What would I do without you? Let's go get you another new bag.



Teehee..humour. What do I do without it?

Insomnianism

I am/was insomniac.

There are times that I sleep at 3am, and become a grouchy mom the next morning. And then, I'd be better, sleeping at normal hours. And then suddenly, the night owl in me would emerge again, unannounced.

It is a very tiring cycle. I hate it cos I do love to sleep.

Could it be the coffee? I tried not drinking after 4pm and only one cup per day, as suggested. But still Mr Chau Kung didn't want to date me.

I tried exercising. I feel healthier but not sleepier.

NEXT!

Lighting? *click on off*

Pillows? *fluff fluff*

There is a ghost? CHOY!CHOY!CHOY!

Anyhoo, recently.. I just realized.. it's not confirmed but yeah, I think there is a connection some where. You see, every time I am Nosferatu the Dracula, I look around and realize that Papah is away - traveling, visiting girlfriends exploring other parts of the world.

*GASP* Do you think he has such power to control over my sleep patterns? Dang! If yes, I have absolutely no control over this. Ish! and Yerrrrrrrrr!

I have not decided if I am irritated by this possibility.. or I am awe-struck? I mean, if love means losing sleep, it is quite awesome.. in an irritating way?

So Papah was away, and for those who chat with me, would know I was awake till the guard went to pee at 2.32am. He came back yesterday. (Papah, not the guard. ) Gooly kicked me out of the room at midnight, wanting to sleep with him.

This morning at 7.32am, both of them were snoring lightly still. Gooly wakes at 6.40am, latest, EVERY MORNING, ok?For his entire school life, which is uhm.. 26 days, he jumps out of bed, eager to go to school see his girlfriend at 6.30am, ok?

But today (after papah gone missing for one whole week).. could it be the comfort of his father's company that he slept so soundly?* He snuggled close to his pop, as snug as a bug. It was too cute to watch.

Even when he woke, he was still attached to papah. Like this:


He was so happy to have his father back. Yeah, me too. I can finally claim my zzzzzzs...

*Dengan jujurnya, I say "It was raining also." So that could be another factor. :P

Should I post this?

I hate being schmaltzy. The good thing is he hardly reads my crap anymore. (That's what I think! He hasn't said much about my Nobel prize 'stories' lately.) So I can macho-ly say what's in my heart:

Hey you!
- You ask "How was your day?" when I come back from an outing. My days are not stressful, unlike yours. And yet you ask. I am touched.

- You buy everything that I need that I am embarrassed to ask anything else. Thank you. I appreciate every single thing you bought.

- You bring home food. You give shelter. You work hard. I am so grateful.

- You smile at me when we are seated across the table. I like that a lot. I'm glad we need not to be glued, but yet still feel the connection.

- You are okay if I don't iron your clothes. You don't make me feel lousy for not doing it.

- You pack your clothes to the laundry when there are too many to wash. You probably like the way your clothes are fresh and smoothly ironed from the laundry, but you don't DEMAND that I do it that way.

These are the little things and big things that make my everyday life so worth living. I sleep soundly at night, and I wake with happy thoughts, thanks to you..

:)

I hate being schmaltzy.. so please don't embarrass me by saying that I am, ok?

This morning..

*staring at own reflection in the toilet*

YOU are so lucky, ni ji tau maa?

- I know..........

YOU! Take and take and take! When are you gonna give back?

- I will..............

He always say he is gold nuggets.. HE is, you know?

- I know.........

Have you told him you know he loves you and you love him?

- I tell him all the time, but wish I can do more?

What can you do? Cook, you dunno! Ha? What you know?

-*hangs head in shame* Wa ng chai....

Can you do what GG does best?

- Mopping?

NO! The other one!

- Oooooh........... *nod nod* I can! Better than mopping!

Ok, brush teeth now. Gooly wants to eat breakfast. Can you wake up earlier also?

- Wokeh. ..wokeh...After pangsai I brush, can or not?

*roll eyes* Up to you-lah!



Have you felt... like you have not done/say enough to your loved ones? Besides the usual words, usual service...what else can we do? - which doesn't involve money?

Haih... I can try composing songs, I suppose.

Yehhooo!

Yesterday Thailand celebrated Mother's Day. Unlike the rest of the world, they celebrate not in May.

So in May, we didn't celebrate Mother's Day because according to Papah, we are in Thailand, thus must abide the Thai calendar. However, during previous years, when the Thai Mother's Day arrived, he told me, we don't celebrate on that day, cos, duh! we are not Thais.

Cis bedebah right?

Not to be trapped in the same booby this year, I asked him online the day before:

Me: Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Bought pressie for me already?

Him: We also not Thai. Celebrate Mother's Day in May laa.. (same old trick, that devil!)

Me: Kns!

Him: Oklah, what you want?

Me: Bag la, what else?

Him: Ok let me discuss with committee (Gooly).

Me: No need. Your committee is on my side wan.

Him: We do lucky draw lah. Main prize is your bag.

Me: Ok lor.

So that night, I sauntered into the room, expecting some tooth picks actions. Lo and behold, Papah announced that his committee member (Gooly) was not co-operative because "If mahmee wants a bag, just get it for her.."

Bwahahaha... gotta love my son, eh? He is 100% on my side. And I swear I didn't brainwash him, ok? I was all game for some lucky draw fun.

So the next day, I was thinking where to get my Rm20 bag. And Papah suddenly announced we were going to LV store!

Fullamakkkkkk! I nearly died of happiness okay? (Well, he added the joke about going and then u-turning back. And it was funny because I knew he WAS not gonna make a u-turn. Hell no.)

Between hyperventilating and at cloud 9, I suddenly

...felt....

I ...

.. don't

.... need

....another...

bag....

Crazy? *self slap* Sure? *self cubit*

BUT!

I do need a camera! An ultra cool one! That goes cicak cicak cicak cicak!

*

*

*

And so that's what I got. : ) Presenting my new baby.....


No regrets! This babe kicks ass! Thank you, papah! And yes, I solemnly promise not to ask for another bag...

....until next year! ;-)

Who wants to camwhore for me?

Papah the player

I am the sort of mom who plays bored board games. I like scrabbles, Wheels of Fortunes, etc. I cannot tolerate jumping monkeys. I hate screaming hyenas. And I cannot possibly bring myself to dance in public, even when begged by my own flesh and blood.

Which is why.. I am so grateful for Papah.

Err.. nope.. He doesn't dance in public either. BUT he:

a. plays sword fighting with Gooly behind closed doors while I say, " I don't want to know what's happening in there."

b. lets Gooly be obnoxious and the most nerve-bashing remarks he can come up with is, "YOUR son.. that 'lansi' face is from YOUR genes." while I try hard not to laugh. (which entails that if Gooly were ever obnoxious to me or other people, he will GET IT from me.)

c. woke early that day to bring Gooly down to the park for a quick morning walk, while I just stared at the ceiling and wondered, "Who on earth wake so early and take a leisure walk before coffee?"

d. laughs when Gooly burps and farts while I pretend I didn't hear any.

e. offers ice-cream treats even after saying that he felt Gooly's thighs are getting corpulently delicious.

Ah.. you see. Our parenting methods and ideas are quite different..but the good thing is, they are never conflicting. We are not eyeing on the 'charfityan' position. Neither do we confuse Gooly with our different strokes as we don't argue in front of him.

We just play different roles. I teach, papah plays.

I may be a "Sergent"(Tabhik!).. I may be authoritative..I may be strict....a lil boring at times. But as declared many times, I am not a dictator. I like the balance Papah strikes. Seriously, growing up in an army cum nerd camp isn't gonna be fun for Gooly.

Gooly, thank your papah for the balancing force.

How on earth I got married Part 4

..and so the day arrived. For the boring can die dinner at the chinese restaurant. There weren't many people we invited as we had had the hawaiian-themed party weeks before. We wondered if we could skip the 3 tier champagne pouring and ugly cake cutting ceremonies. And in the end, we decided to just get it over with. You know, with the dreaded faitit- faitit feeling.

I really like my hairdo for that night though. It was a classy 'bun'. I wore a turquoise corset which Sharkira and I sewn sequins on. It was a couple of hours job. Nothing too painstaking. Not to mention, CHEAP!And then I changed into a chinese cheong sam to show off my svelte body. *evil laugh*Just because I am not putting a picture here, I can bluff. No-lah, my body was never svelte. It was less hippo-looking though :P. I just thought I wanted something China-like cos afterall, we all chinese, ain't we? The hairdo really matched the cheong sam, which has bamboos embroided. Bamboos, I think signifies long lasting marriage.

Thus nothing was red, or remotely bright. One of my aunties, much expected, commented, "Aiyoo.. why brue brue? No red red?" Come on lah, auntie.. I am not that chinese. :P As for the cheong sam, I can use it for my waitressing career. Don't waste, eh?

A week later, we had the tea ceremony. Due to some miscommunication, (yet to be) papah James and his entourage had to wait at the Mamak restaurant, all garbed handsomely in shirts and pants. Teehee. Meanwhile, friends and families fussed over the bride, who didn't do her manicure, pedicure and facials. Eeek! They nearly 'pengsan' seeing the cincai bride. But alas, with power makeup, she turned out to be Princess Mariposa. *gag gag gag* Again, I am bluffing. Chui meh?

Just like many other chinese weddings, there were games to 'kenakan' the groom before he gets the fair and lovely bride la.. Woi.. give face a bit, okeh?. Don't vomit anymore la. Anyways, there wasn't anything unusual. There were 'tai paus' and gassy drinks as breakfast for them, though they had to finish them in a record time of 2 minutes. Hoi, not my idea, okeh? I was the shy bride waiting to be absconded.

Then after stage 1, they had to go through ROUND 2; Q & A session. There were 10 questions, in which he got only 1 correct. 1/10. CERTIFIED FAILED. For example:

Q: Where was your wife born?
A: In a taxi.

Bwahahah. The shy bride nearly fell off the chair laughing. Not demure already!! But... Yehoooo! He was really what I expected to be; the original recipe ;)

And then it was SHOW ME THE MONEY part. Hehehhehe. Chum char, and get angpows!! Kaching! You could see the dollah signs in our eyes. No-lah. I am bluffing. You believe I am bluffing, right? Say yes!

In the afternoon, we boarded the plane to Alor Star. And then 'kaching', the cash register rings again. :P I left the sourcing of makeup artist to my sister in law. So, I went there, telling the hairstylist, "Simple ehsai liao". For the dinner, it was the same mantra.

And there you have it! We were married ..eh.. but not legally. Haha. Did you realise we were not registered at the registrar yet?

We actually went for the honeymoon first.. not the next day. Not the next week.. but 6 months later. Cincai or not? And then, four months later, I was *real gags* pregnant. We cleverly chose June 28th to sign the 'contract'. So it was exactly one year after he failed the Q & A ultimate quiz, that we were pronounced as Mr and Mrs Lim.

Gooly likes to ask, "Where am I?" whenever he sees pictures of our younger days. Pointing at the pictures at the registrar office, I can now say truthfully, "You were in Mahmee's tummy."

:) Merry Christmas, everyone!

How on earth I got married Part 3

Dumm dee dumm.. where were we? Ah yes.. "value for money wedding album"(read comments on previous post), according to Papah James who wouldn't read my blog even if paid, but miraculously stumbled upon it when the topic is related to him. Spooky? *X-files music*. ESP? *Twilight Zone music* Serendipity? *Whatever love-soundtrack music*

Anyways, in May, I (not 'we'..you should know I am the decision maker by now :P) planned a Hawaiian-theme party. We I found this nice al-fresco restaurant at Mount Kiara, and threw a dinner, strictly for friends. It turned out the restaurant was to be closed down the very next day after our party. So 'hoe yee tau', eh? But it being the last night for the manager and chef and other staff, they were very accommodating. It was a party for them as well. We had roast lamb and.. err.. help me with this, will ya, papah? :p

I had wanted a crazy frizzy hairdo for that dinner. What seemed so plausible then, seems idiotic in retrospect. I had an orchid in my hair somewhere, can you imagine? My corset was pink, my satin skirt was too tight. Papah wore a reddish Hawaiian shirt - something he wouldn't be caught dead in now. Friends turned up in colourful summer dresses or sarongs. As favors, they got orchids which some put on wrists as corsages, others pin it in their hair. The guys.. erm.. arr.. ah.. let's just say there were no alkie left after the party.

I remember vaguely a fraction of the night where Papah James was asked to give an impromptu speech. How could it be impromptu? He ought to have written his own personal vows, and declaration of love, right? But he was not an ordinary groom. He did everything with style.. His speech began with:

"Wa gian nit tzin hua hi..." (Hokkien: Today I am very happy)

Cheers erupted amidst his hooligan friends. I think I kinda stared at him disbelievingly. And then, white noise. 5 years later, that's all I remember of his 'ceramah' - wa gian nit tzin hua hi..

Out of the blue, someone suggested a game. I rolled my eyes, they didn't care. It was one of those Q & A session, where they interrogated us separately. We had the the exact same answers, which didn't qualify us for the MOST COMPATIBLE COUPLE because.. we were just too weird! I don't remember all the questions asked, but one of it was:

Who says sorry first whenever there is an argument/fight?

Our answer: No one.

I think there was an awkward 5 seconds silence. Haha! I could almost hear the prediction of "DIVORCE" in the air. But hey, lookie lookie... 5 years, no one says sorry and we are still pronounced as Mr and Mrs Lim! :P And there will be more years to come.

Papah James, 'gian nit hua hi boe?" Miss you too..:)

How on earth I got married Part 2

After I graduated, I balik kampung to KL. And he follow suit.

Between 1999 and 2002, nothing much happened. That's why sometimes I have to forgive him for his failing memory cos I do suffer the effects of gingko deficiency too. :P

Then one fine day, this conversation took place:


Me: Eh, want to get married ah?
Him: Need meh?
Me: Need laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

And he called his mom and mumbled something about a knife at his neck and marriage. -_-

I began making lil notes in a lil booklet about the one-year ahead plan, until he discovered it, and started to sabotage it by making silly comments like "NO MONEY" under my pathetic drawing of a tube gown. Flipping through the pages now, I realised he called me DING DONG a lot last time.

We went to Poh Kong and bought a diamond ring. He had to china-fied it by buying Magnum with the receipt number. But good thing was, we kena lottery! Woohoo! He offered to use the easy-earned (how often can we say that??) money for a bigger diamond. I declined and still hitting my head against the wall today.

The next thing to do was to decide on the date. Picking a weekend that coincides with a celebration (my birthday, his birthday or Christmas) would be one less date to remember. But marriage is never about convenience, is it? Darn! And so we had to pay a visit to the infamous Loh Tit 8. In less than 5 minutes, we got the dates along with some do's and dont's which we didn't intend to follow, and hey presto, we were Rm100 poorer.

Being the ever independent and weird bride to be, I went to bridal shops with a girl friend, instead of him. Seriously, would a guy be interested in deciding the gown for his bride? I didn't care if he did. Thank God he couldn't care less cos I'd surely stab him with the stilettos if he were the type to say, "Too fat, too short, too long, too pouffy, too revealing." There is a time and place to be opinionated, agree?

While we looked like odd lesbo partners (my friend and I), we didn't care. I tried on gaudy gowns but being pear-shaped, only tube gowns with can-can bottoms suited me. And I totally detested the idea of VVIP gown selection with additional charge. I didn't care if the package came with a 3 ft by 3ft poster because, helloh! 3 years down the road, I will vomit looking at myself with the hideous hair-do and make up. And guess what? I didnt have to wait that long to hate the look on MY wedding poster (which I cleverly decided not to post here. Haha!)

Anyways, I remember clearly about a photo album on display at one of the bridal shops. The bride's armpit stubbles were visible. My oh my... I thought digital enhancement was possible.

Come to think of it, I don't know why I bothered with the studio shots. I knew my smiles will look fake, my pose stiff, my face..fat. Hmm.. for fun, I guess. And it was pretty fun actually. We had a nice photographer who obliged our requests of:
a. just white backdrops
b.no kissing shots
c. no dreamy-i-am-so-in -love shots

In return, I compromised with the hairdos. The 3 storey-high hairdo was removed to a much subtle looking one after a few shots. I didnt want the kimono, spanish, korean costumes because I am a Chinese. I didn't want to do an outdoor shot because of the weather.

Hence, instead of "I WANT I WANT I WANT" the studio was pleased for once with the odd "KEEP IT SIMPLE" couple. A few weeks later, we went to collect the album. As expected, I looked like my mom. A photocopy version..

Today the dusty poster hung over the bed. Gooly asked if the bride was me. And I just had to test him: "Pretty or not?"

"Just a little bit.."


Char toe...........

Part 3 tomorrow..

How on earth I got married Part 1

It's not our anniversary.. it's not valentines. I am just feeling a bit 'hiao' and want to reminisce, can or not?

It's gonna be a rather long post, but no worries.. Gag-free guaranteed cos our wedding should be the most 'cincai' you have ever attended or heard. All in all there were 5 ceremonies. During the last dinner at Alor Star, we were so bored, and my SIL was right when she said, "Your wedding is like never-ending." So you see, it's all about QUANTITY, not quality. It all began.... *time machine clicks and beeps*

Circa 1998.. We were in Penang, me studying and him, just got back from the States and working as an engineer. I like to say we met when my bra dropped from my 13th floor balcony to his 9th. Upon seeing the DDD cups, he decided to ask me out. Alas, this is not a booby tale. Instead, it was so normal and boring the way we met; through a mutual friend. *Yawn yawn* It was at the chinese kopitiam and I was walloping a 'taipau'. He thought I was snobbish (what rubbish!) and the feeling was mutual. The second time we met, it was at the same restaurant and same 'taipau' for lunch. Deja vu. But this time round he made a comment which went something like:

"Shaddap la.. Eat your 'taipau' la.."

Haha.. I am sure he didn't but I'd like to accuse that he did cos that's the way he talks to me now. Anyways, I thought he was less 'lansi' and thus begin the journey of courtship. He will tell you that I courted him. He is amnesiac and a fool, that's all I can say.

A few months later, we were at the beach. He was wearing a stripy Reebok tee which I dubbed "the bumblebee". It wasn't even black and yellow. See how mysterious my brain works? I was clad in a black blouse which btw doesn't fit anymore. The jeans too of course. He dug a hole in the sand and buried my foot next to his. I asked, "Eh, you like me ah?" and he said, "Duh.. apuden." (haha.. again.. something to that effect la).

Sorry to have disappointed you. The setting was pretty romantic but there were no fools. Only two people wasting no time in guessing games or 'hard to get' nonsense. We say, "Jump on into the l.o.v.e wagon if the feelings are right, babeh!"

Of course I had to warn him.. "I am very manja one, you know.." And he said, "I let you manja lorr". That has to be the most romantic promise he made, which I need to remind him every now and then. But then he will fake the worst case of amnesia whenever I mention this. Which is worse: faking a chronic illness or saying," Eat the synonym of dung la!"?

Hmm...

Part 2 later..

A conversation in my brain

On Messenger yesterday:

Me: What time you will be done?
Him: In 10 minutes

45 minutes later, he was still not here. I called but there was no answer. Finally when he picked up the 100th call, he muttered, "Ok ok , coming now!"

His coming now was another 10 minutes.

Gerrrrram or not? We were supposed to meet a friend in town for lunch. So in the car, I was in a fouled mood. While I have decided to launch a cold war, I had this imaginary conversation in my head:

Me: Why you say 10 minutes, now only come? *@)#*$)
Him: What you want me to do? Office so many things to do!
Me: Yalah - yalah! Always a lot of things to do. Next time just say you can't make it. I will go myself!
Him: Why you so angry? I tried to come as soon as I can wat..

I stopped there. And wondered. Is that what I really want? For him not to TRY anymore? Should I not give him credit that he came even after mishaps at work which cost him to lose a few hundred thousand bahts order? No no no. So I shouldn't pick a fight really.

How sure am I that the conversation will be as above? About 99%? Ha!

"What you want to eat afterwards?" he interrupted my thoughts. His tone was soft. And it occurred to me that, he had no freaking idea that I was mad. He had no freaking idea that I could have plotted his murder. :P

While I got all worked up, and feeling angry, and upset.. he was, I think, pondering what he would want to have lunch. Realizing that, I told myself, nah.. not worth 'spoiling my heart'. And I forgave him. Spare him another day...!

Beach Galore

Yeap.. went to the beach again. This time for erm.. 4/5..days? Can't remember cos dates and time don't matter when ..heck. The clock seems to have stopped years ago, when I became a SHM. The biological clock is still ticking though... tick tick tick. Kaboom!

Fuiyoh! The internal bomb exploded when Gooly deleted all the pics on the 3rd day, man. If there was a cactus in sight, I would have executed my long awaited diabolical plan of tying him up there. But alas, not even a coconut tree was available. Hmm?

Anyways, he promised to pose willingly and charmingly all over again. So, I cooled down a bit. And the waves did somewhat calm me. On that day the pics disappeared, that is. On the other days, they were fierce, crashing to the shore. I was partly awed and slightly afraid of them. Have always been. Do they have the same effect on you? The waves, I mean.

Though I tried to close my eyes and relax a bit, the 'kooooshing' sounds awoke me, as though daring me to face my fear. And so I stared at them. Very intensely. And finally went back to my cheap motel feeling defeated, cos I am still scared of tsunamis.

Crappy.. crappy : ) Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.

In retrospect..

In the ten years we have been together, he
a. bought me flowers on two occasions.. only
b. bought a pair of rings and lost one
c. doesn't remember our anniversary, my birthday and valentine's occasionally
d. still doesn't fancy what I cook
e. stopped buying presents for all the above mentioned occasions since 9 years ago
f. doesn't hold my hand anymore
g. doesn't buy me chocolates, not even once
h. calls me OI
i. says nasty things when provoked
j. looks lovingly at his arowanas, and doesn't realize I have a new haircut
k. wants me to wake at 6 to prepare breakfast cos he knows I hate waking early

Meanwhile, I:
a. am glad I received his bouquets only twice. I think flowers are not flowers without roots
b. don't fret about lost things. We can buy another when we remember
c. forget our anniversary, his birthday and valentine's
d. don't fancy what I cook
e. have his atm card to buy anything, anytime
f. hold his son's hand instead
g. am the only human who thinks chocs are sticky, yucky and gross. Gimme durian anytime, even ersatz types
h. call him EH
i. forget what he says when it's ought to be forgotten
j. is not about to get jealous over some FISHES
k. wake when awoken by Gooly and prepare Gooly's brekkie only, and my coffee, of course

Thus we are an odd couple. There are no diamonds, no flowers, no chocs in our marriage. There are fights which last for 24 hours max. There are things I hate about him. There are things he cannot stand about me. And yet we remain who we are the day we met. Of course, there was fine tuning here and there (nothing major) to welcome the additional member to the family in 2005.

Is there love? Must be.. love and more. There is no need to list the 'more', cos I .. cos I.. heck, I admit, I have no idea. If I knew, wouldn't I have published a book? Maybe that's what works in our marriage. We are two clueless people, and thus there is no expectations of each other. There is just ... the will to make it right, to make everything works. For gooly, for ourselves...

Happy anniversary, Mr. James. Yes, I know, it was last month. Wakakakkakaka!

Edited side note: Do we love more when we remember? Do we love less when we don't? Can love be quantified? Yes for those who knows how to. You probably should know that numbers bore and frighten me. And therefore, love is love is love to me, no more, no less. Let's keep it simple or am I confusing you? ;)