Monday, June 29, 2009

Do you believe him?

It was 8 am.

I was awoken by the sound of..

WAAAA.....WAAAAH....UHUKKKKK!!

Hold your horses..this time it wasn't Gooly bawling. It was his cousin (though he will tell you, his LITTLE BABY BROTHER. If you said otherwise, he gets pissed.)

Groggily, I stepped out to investigate.

"What happened? YOU! Tell me.." (finger pointing at Gooly cos he is the only key witness who could relate the WHOLE incident without missing out the most mundane details)

And so he reported:

It was 7.59 am.. I was doing my own business..

Kakakakkaka.. Kidding only.

What he told me was that that little fella had wanted to climb on the rattan chair, and he acting much like the 'taiko', forbade him to do it.

Why, may I ask, Mr. Gooly?

"Of course he cannot climb it. He will fall down! So I told him (his 'little baby brother') NO very loudly. Many times! NO NO NO NO - like that. Then he started crying."

FYI, he was comfortably sitting on the rattan chair which he didn't allow the baby to climb on while telling me the whole drama.

Too comfortable he looked that I was suspicious of his good intention.

Yau moe gum hoe sei? Didn't want baby to fall?

Anyways, I gave him the benefit of doubt..and told him that baby is quite capable of climbing. He should just yieve him ayone (leave him alone).

Nonetheless, I did give him the "I'll be watching you" eyes.

And then I sang:

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you make
I'll be watching you....

*Shout* OH CAN'T YOU SEEEEEEE?
YOU BELONG TO MEE.....
HOW MY POOR HEART BREAKS!!!
WITH EVERY STEP YOU TAKE!!!!


Actually, the point of this entry is.. I saja want to show off my karaoke skill.

Sekian terima kasih.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Morning tears

It's 8 am.

..and so there is a loaf of chocolate cum raisins bread. What do we do with it? We eat it, rite?

Nooo.....

He has to complicate matters.

First he whines.....

and then he cries.....






And then he demands for peanut butter...

And of course I ignore him.

And so he...


Nanggis, cry, bawl, hahm, hau... waaah.....weeeekkkkk....whhooooo...hooooo...huuuuu..


Sigh..

And so he continues to ..



..for some time.

About everything...there were big fat tears involved.

Finally the last straw and biggest bawl was when he hit his head. Ok, that one can cry..(:P)

So I consoled him, and he sobbed in my arms.

"Why so cry baby today?" I asked.

He sobbed harder.

"Cos mamah no love love this morning?" (Duh...what else?)

He nodded, and sobbed hardest.

Haih.. ok ok.. Mamah sayang..mamah no scold.. mamah sapu peanut butter ok?

There he is now.. chirpy and happy like a lark.


Why you so like that, Gooly?

Sell you off.. (ok ok, don't cry.. just joking only) *roll eyes*

Monday, June 22, 2009

Until he sleeps..

Here, we sleep on two single beds, joined together like a queen sized bed.

He sleeps on the right side, I sleep on the left.

Pretty straightforward?

Nooooo...............

He has to complicate matters where territory is concerned. He doesn't believe in equality. When we could have nested comfortably on a bed each, he decides snuggling up is the best option.

Which is.. pretty claustrophobic... And hot.... And suffocating. ....And..

I JUST WANT MY OWN BED!!

MOVE OVER!

SCOOT!!

THAT'S THE SIDE OF YOUR BED!!

THAT'S MY PILLOW!

SEE THIS LINE? *and I use an imaginary sword to draw the invisible line* DO NOT CROSS OVER!

He giggles. And obediently rolls over.

(Next time when he blogs, he'll probably have a sad story about how his mom shoved him over to the other side of the bed..and he was cold.. and hungry.. and lonely. Kakakakakakak!)

2 seconds later...

He pokes me.

I ignore him.

He jabs me.

I glare at him.

He says," Is this the line?" and he makes a kungfu move across the line and immediately jumps back to his territory before I can slap his buttock.

Haih... 10 minutes later.

He is snoring. R.E.M in motion.

And he stirs..and mutters, " I loview, mahmee"

Haih.....

I cross over and use him as a bolster.

Guess who is crossing the line? Really too much! Give him some space, mahmee! *self piak buttock*

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Ahmah Abin



There must be at least 10 kinds of pills my ahbu pops everyday.


Pink ones, white ones, yellow ones, black ones...


Triangular ones, squarish ones, cylinder ones, rounded ones...


Before meals, after meals, before sleep, when in pain..


I dunno.. I would have gagged swallowing them.

When I was younger, I absolutely hated taking pills. Ahbu had to bribe, sometimes with sweets .. sometimes with rectangular notes known as Wang Ringgit Lima Puluh Sahaja. Teehee.. Of course, my brother hated the idea, calling me a "money crazy girl" and suggested that I pinned the note on my forehead. Pure jealousy!

Oh.. and ahbu would also cut the pills into half (no matter how minuscule the pills were), and I'd open my mouth wide, and she would throw the pill right into the larynx. It was almost like feeding time at the zoo.

Anyways....

Back to ahbu...

What's consoling is.. she is getting fed as well, just like the little girl I once was.

The little boys compete to have a chance to feed her the pills. :)

"Ahmah abin," (Grand's medicine) says the 2 year old as he pushes the pill into her mouth.

"Ahmah abin," Gooly follows suit.

And ahbu opens her mouth wide with an exaggerated AHHHHHHHHHHH... and UHHHHHMMMM, she swallows with a gulp of water.

Without the boys, it would have been ...less appetizing, wouldn't it?

Yucks! I can feel them stuck at my throat.

Friday, June 19, 2009

There is nothing we can do

When she is hungry
We can buy her food
When she can't swallow even a morsel
There's nothing we can do

When she is in pain
We can feed her pills
But when she is hurting
There's really nothing we can do

When she can walk
We can hold her hands
But when her legs can't hold her weight
There's nothing we can do

When she can talk
We can listen to her thoughts
But when she is caught in a silent reverie
There's absolutely nothing we can do

When she cries
We can wipe her tears
But when she talks about her death
There's sadly nothing we can do

Does she..
Remember the plaster?
Which heals everything and anything?
Which makes us feel better?
Eventhough we were still bleeding?

How come the children don't have THE plaster?
Why are we are so helpless?
When she did so much, never for herself
But for us, for him, for them

What about her?
Where is her plaster?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It makes sense..

..that you go to school on a school bus.

When you go home, shouldn't you ride on a HOME bus?

It doesn't make sense if you said, "The alarm went OFF!" when it is obviously turned ON to give such a blaring noise.

It makes sense that the number 1 is lesser than 10, 100, 1000.

It doesn't make sense that everyone wants to be number 1 when 10, 100, 1000 are greater numbers.

" I don't want to be number 1! I want to be number 100. NO! 1000 is more! It's better!"

HOW?

Please answer Mr. Gooly (for me).

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Out on a date

It wasn't really a real date... considering there were a few adults and another two kids.

But they did sit together. Held hands a bit (tho the girl was reluctant, and Gooly too eager!) and chatted loads.

One moment they were exchanging jokes only understood by them, involving the derriere (but they didn't use such a refine word.) At the moment BUTT, BACKSIDE, SIFAT were uttered, the other conversant automatically threw his/her head back and laughed. Talk about 'giving face'. How endearing.

And then when the little girl had a change of clothes, she twirled around, showing Gooly her dress.

"Look at me.." she gushed. ( I *HEART* Lil Girls!! They are so cute!!)

"Wow!..You look so preeetiiieeee!" the young gentleman replied. Eh, I thought mahmee was the only pretty one in his eyes and heart and gut?? Haih.... manatau so fast he changed his mind. (Maybe I am the PRETTIEST! :P)

And the day ended too soon for both of them, in which this conversation took place. (Imagine the scene: Bad Pitt and Angelina Jolly holding hands, outside the parked car, beside some construction site. The music? Err... let's say, it's Time To Say Goodbye~~)

She: I want you to come to my house.

He: Not today. It's too late. (Kakakaka! Like real)

She: Awwww... (she did whine like Liucas!) I like you so much..

He: Yeah, me too. (trying to sound casual, and look casual by kicking pebbles on the ground)

She: If you don't come now, you cannot come next time, ok? (Fuiyohhhh!)

He: Don't say like that. You hurt my feelings. (Kakakkakakak!)

End of part 1.

I am so grinning about this.

Let's see if they can survive the distance and silence till they next meet.

(I have a notion, they will act like the previous time they met: totally ignoring each other! :D)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Mind over matters

I was out with a friend, a newly wed the other day, and the topic of motherhood inevitably sneaked into our conversation. It wasn't quite banal, as you may presumed cos she is an animated girl. She actually enacted a scene in which she will shut her 'twins' up.

Twins?

The last I checked, she was still svelte. There was no indication that she has recently went for an ultrasound.

So, she thinks she will have twins on the pretext that her family or her hub's has a history of bearing zygotic genes?

Well, not really.

She just thinks she will have twins because she wants to have them. It's another case of, "you think you can, you can!"

How eccentric...

To tell the truth, she has on many occasions said she wanted something..and she got them. Just by repeating the mantra of, "I will get it!"

Mind you, we are not talking about wanting an ice cream or sushi (which btw is what I want NOW!!).

She wanted to be married to a white, she got a French.

Her dream car was a Chevrolet model, and she is driving mine now. (Long story!)

So I wont be surprised if she had Mary Kate and Ashley the next time I see her.

Think about it. Have you envisioned your future, and then gotten a deja vu moment once in a while?

I'm gonna check my list here:

a. I wanted to be a stay home, slightly rotten mom. Checked!

b. I wanted to stay in another country. Checked! (though could be further!)

c. I always thought Papah is the truck driving kind. Checked! I should really thought of a fancier car.

d.I thought I was gonna be a mom to a sweetie gal. Strike out.

e. I wanted to stay in a cooler place. *pish pish pish pish...it's so hawt here!*

Oh well, I am gonna think harder and super power the last one to come true.

Sigh... if life can be so easy

Uh-ah...life can be easy! Just think it's easy!

Go! Go ! Go!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Gooly in storytelling mode

I have this video on my phone. But I don't know how to transfer it, dload it, and 'show off' it.

I admit, it's not so much of an accomplishment which I am darn proud of.

It is just another goofy vid of Gooly. As usual..

In it, he was telling a story.

Nonono..not that 10 seconds poopoo story (which some of you had the privilege to view it :P)

The recent one is about a boy who punishes his mahmee with some 'piakpiak' actions. It's a very immoral story , as you may notice. It even has a bad ending, in which the evil (him) triumphs over the good (needless to say, me!)

I like his story telling skill, nonetheless because it is always from a third person's perspective. He is always telling it from a narrator's point of view.

Like this..

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Gooly. The papah say, "Go poopoo!" He say, "I don't want..." *

There are lots of he says, she says. He likes telling it that way.

Now what is really weird funny is he switches on his story telling mode even when conversing.

How do I explain?

Ok, for example, he hollers from across the room, "MAHMEE, I AM HUNGRY!"

..and if you paid close attention, you will hear him add, "said Gooly."
Meaning to say, his whole sentence construction will be:

"Mahmee, I am hungry! said Gooly."
(Did I get the inverted commas right? Lol!)

And say.. if I were to reply, "What do you wanna eat?"

... he will end my question with... yep... "asked Mahmee."


So sometimes our crazy conversations get narrated/scripted like this:

Gooly: Mahmee, I am hungry! said Gooly.

Me: Ok. What do you want to eat?

Gooly: Asked Mahmee.

Me: Hahahaha!

Gooly: Laughed Mahmee.

Me: Stop doing that! said Mahmee. (joining in the fun)

Gooly: OK! said Gooly.



Are you confused? Well, not all of us can be story writers...or story tellers.. :P

***
*It's his autobiography. :P Pseudonym is used to protect his identity...kakakaka!

I shoo you no more!

*Bugger off!

*Scoot!

*Go! Go! Go!

*Here, take this sweet and play far far!

*Nah, take this toy and don't come back until 10 hours later!

*Nonono, I don't wanna play!

*Fankao! Faitit!



These instructions, if not given verbally, are otherwise often parasiting in my numbskull. Not that he acts as I command. On the contrary, he 'leeches' on tighter or 'tailgates' closer to an extend I become concious about my ability to creat a new range of product under the Qetiak Eau de Toillete line.



BUT...



Don't dial 1800-Dera-3838 yet ..(tekan satu untuk Bad Mahmee, dua untuk Chisin Mahmee, tiga untuk Pizza Hut)


Lo and behold, there are times when I stuck by him.

..I stand by him.

..I sleep by him.


I do these ..when he is quiet. (A rare occasion, but yet it does happen!)

Him being quiet is synonymous to..











... him being sick.


Blek. Mahmee doesn't like Gooly shick. Mahmee pwomish won't shoo Gooly away. Mahmee chayang Gooly.


Don't get me wrong. I like the peace and tranquility. :P


But, it breaks my heart to see his greenish pale face.


Get well soon, son.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Pandai ye..?

So he wanted some more food after his breakfast ( I think it was cookies)...



...after he walloped an apple...



...and an egg tart...



...and a cup of DHA nenen...



in a record time of 15 minutes...



So naturally my retort was:



ARE YOU CRAZY?? EAT SO MUCH? YOUR STOMACH GOT WORMS AH? CRAZY !! YOUR STOMACH CRAZY AH???



Apa dia jawab? Heheheheh.... in an equally loud voice.



DON'T SAY THAT!! YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!!



Ooh...like that lah.. So pannai jawab lah? Cheh! Not fun one!



***


My ahbu likes to belch from behind... in front of him.


Yep...my crazy ahbu. (Ops! Sorry I hurt ya feelings, momma!)


She would PROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT so audibly which annoyed the farts of us.


But he would laugh.


Yep....my crazy son. (Ops again! Don't be so sensitive, can or not? :P)


He would laugh a guttural laugh. I think he was amazed at her skill.


It made her happy when she saw that she is capable of entertaining her grandson.


And so more poot poot poot whenever she felt like it.....


Recently, Gooly felt it was offensive. Because when he did what his ahma did, he kena this AYYYYEEERRRRR! reaction from us.


Thus, he knows it's a social offence to bottom burp in public. And whenever his ahma makes any audible sounds from the other end, he now does this..
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Hehehehhe! My ahbu's farts not smelly, wokeh?? LOUD ONLY!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Who? Why?

Hear ye hear ye!

I have discovered that Gooly can be monosyllabic.

It is quite alarming considering that this boy starts his monologues with a smack of the lips . Some people clears the throat with an *ahem* sound to get attention. He wets his lips to kick start his motor mouth.

Like this..

*smack lips* you know what.. My ahmah was a teacher. But she is retired now. She (used to) teach other children, you know. My korkor works in a bank.

.. and he rattles on. Between point A and point B, he makes a turn at Point D, E, F and then stops at Point 34 (a totally irrelevant point, you may notice)

So, naturally I should be glad that he is editing and summarising his speech to a more succint manner.

But lo and behold....

Gooly is atypical. His singular words can irk me as much as his 500 words essay.

Take this conversation as an example:

Me: Gooly, you want to eat ice cream not?

Between YES and NO, he chooses..





WHO?




Who? Whad'ya mean who?!!!!

I'm so tired answering YOU! that I have started saying, "YOU LAH! WHO ELSE AM I TALKING TO????" (The latter makes me more tired actually. LOL!)

And then there is..why..

Oooooh.... the cursed three-letter word...

Me: Gooly, you want ice cream not?

Gooly: WHO?

Me: You-lah! Who else am I talking to?

Gooly: WHY?

Me: What why? You want or don't want?

Gooly: Who?

Me: Can you tell me what I just asked you?

Gooly: You asked if I want ice cream?

Me: YES! Why you ask who then?

Gooly: Who?

Oh boy....here we go again..............

Arrgghhhhhhhhhhh!!@@##!! What was supposed to be a simple 2 second Q & A session can end up so disastrously.

In conclusion, which is better?

"Yes, Mahmee, I want an ice cream. Do you want, ah mah? I want chocolate flavour. What about you, mahmee? Ah mah, you should get vanilla. Is it McDonald ice cream? Let's go! Oh wait.. what about chocolate sprinkles? That day, I had chocolate moist cake... *

OR

"WHO?" (used inappropriately)

Gee... I really dunno..

* I am sure he is capable of speaking an essay on "who should eat what ice cream and where" when he feels like it.

Monday, June 1, 2009

On the downside

"Can I have some please, Mahmee?"

"Ooh..thanks!"

"I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it never again." (I'm confused with the triple negative in the sentence)

"Excuse me.."

That's my son talking to me. Always polite to me. Always pleasant to me.

The key word is TO ME.

TO ME ONLY.

To other people, he:

1. threatens to shoot with his signature 'finger gun'

2. says, "I'm busy" when asked to do something

3. wags his finger warningly/rudely toward an undeserving recipient

4. suavely wipes his oily mouth on an unsuspecting person's sleeve

..amongst many other can-pengsan atrocious deeds.

Grrr...kik sei ngor.

Please don't believe me if I ever described him as angelic.. He has his tail tugged in somewhere. He may stab your thigh with a plastic fork. He may deliberately step on your foot.

Ohhh........

He's so like me..when I was youngerrrr..

; P

"Gooly, you must be nice and polite to other people, just like how you are nice and polite to me!"

"Yes, Mahmee.... I understand, Mahmee...I'm sorry, Mahmee...I loview, Mahmee"

Ishhhhh...Ini tak boleh caya nie....

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