Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hide and See

Yesterday at a party, somebody suggested, "Let's play Hide and See!" (yeah..see who cannot be found.)

Gooly took up the challenge and quickly dashed to find a place to hide.

The way he runs, I must say, is darn cute. Kinda like the Beep Beep Road Runner - the legs scurries while the torso is completely still and stiff. His 100m dash, somehow, to me, has a comical effect.

Meanwhile, the facial expression is a mixture of excitement, apprehension and kancheongness.

This pic only contains a kancheong and worrisome expression.

After a few seconds, I though I had better go after him just in case he takes the task of hiding a little too seriously and we'd have to organise a search party to look for him. By then, kids were already running amok and he was no where to be found.

I stood in the darkness scanning the landscape ala terminator.

And then I heard, "Mom, I am here!"

Oh, there he was, squatting between a shrub and a pool deck chair, looking minuscule-like. Teehee.

He stood up, looking apprehensive. "What if they can't find me here?"

(Boy, they wont find you anywhere cos you are not exactly popular today. With over 10 kids around, they wouldn't even notice you missing. Teehee.)

So I said, "Yeah, it's gonna be tough looking for you. That's a very good hiding place. Even I couldn't find you just now." - just so that he doesn't realise that nobody was actually 'seeking' him.

"Yeah, I am camouflaged, mom."

I nodded in agreement and suggested that I hang around (as an undercover) to inform him when the seeker comes. He was glad cos he was actually pretty afraid of the darkness and the prospect of not being found.

While the kids zoomed pass a zillion times, he finally gave up his crouching position and declared, "They can't find me."

And so I said, "Yeah, you wanna go back in?"

He said, "Sure." And we walked back to join the crowd, hand in hand.

Sometimes we are invisible. And it's kinda alright, cos we watch out for each other. :)

Saturday, January 30, 2010


In my line of duty as a consultant as a cashier cum fly swatter for the past 3 weeks, I have met more eccentric people than I have whilst in Bangkok. Then again, my experience before is incomparable as I had very minimal contact with homosapiens then. (Ada is an angel, mind you.)

One day, an old man commented, "Your father must be very rich to open a shop like that for you to jaga.."

"You mean my sugar daddy?" was at the tip of my tongue. At the tip...they weren't lashed out as I believe in respecting even senile old men.

And then another lady asked, "This shop is to earn profit or you open so that people can buy from you wan?"




"Actually this shop is for sacrificial ceremonies to honour MJ." Should I have answered that?

I don't comprehendo how Gooly who is 5 yrs old makes better conversations than these weirdz.

"How is business, mom?

"Oh.. don't worry. I think tomorrow you will have more customers."

"What are you going to do today when there is no customers? You gonna sit around? Ok, I will come later, ok?"

See? Gooly doesn't give me palpitations* when he talks.

(Only applicable when talking about business.)

Friday, January 29, 2010


The one thing I like to watch is Titanic Gooly having his haircut.
I like.. how his whole face would scrunch up as his hair falls mercilessly at his eyes.

I like..his forlorn cum bored to bits look.

I like.. him smiling at me as he caught me smilling at him.

I like.. his short pudgy legs hanging down from the high chair.

I like..the wrap-around apron choking his neck, making him look like a ba-chang.

I like ..him giggling whenever the hairdresser's hand brushes his ears or cheeks ( I know the hairdresser hates this giggling part).

I like.. him laughing like sakai when they use the hairdryer to blow away those wasted hair.


If only haircuts don't cost so much! Seriously....rm16??? Thats 16 packets of nasi lormak!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Do I smell?

We have two single beds in the room.

Gooly always climbs on my bed and do whatever on MY bed.


Yesterday he even wanted to sleep on MY bed. So I said to bugger off in a most motherly way.

He refused and with his eyes shut, he said, "I like your smell on the pillow."

YUCKS! And by that, it's (of course) my motherly way of saying, "AWWWWW~~~"

*sniff sniff armpit* I wonder what he smells of me.

School report

Actually...some time last week, Gooly has already grown accustomed to the new school.

The end.

Eh... after I wrote about all the sad tales, it would seem unfair to write a one-liner for the happier days, rite?

Ok... so.. since last week, Gooly has been very happy to step into the class room. No more tau tap tap, ngan sap sap. No more WWF wrestling championship with the teacher.

Afiq, Benedict, Eric, Iris, Angeline, Sean - the few names he had mentioned in good terms. And Cheng Lauzhi, of course. the bespectacled nerdy teacher who is quite blur and silai looking

I like it when he comes home with chinese songs like -

Jao jao jao, jai ger yi ker penyu (Find find find, find a friend) while waddling around like a penguin.

And then there is Bahasa -

Bangun pagi pagi pagi pagi
Gosok gigi etc.
(I think we have another version at FB which is waaaaaayyy coooler. Hics hics hics!)

I dunno... while I have already heard complains from other parents about the lack of homework, I am like so darn proud that Gooly is learning two additional languages. It's like WOW!

C'mon, parents..when do you stop getting the WOW feeling? You always say kids learn fast and easily..But still, whatever they learn in school is still an achievement, ok?

Anyways, while driving him to school today, Gooly kissed me on the head. I asked, "What is that for?"

"FOR LOVE~" he said.

Ah.. I like. I like that he is liking school once again.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Post Bath

When Gooly was a baby, bath time was often filled with bubbles. Pop pop pop!

When he was a little older, he'd bring in loads of toys. "Is this made of wood? Does this work on baderies (batteries)?", he would ask.

Now he asks for his clothes. To be washed in the toilet. Without will find heaps of wet clothings in the basin or on the floor after he finished his water spree.

And I'd wipe him dry in a towel. I rub his head as he charges his bull-head towards me. It's a struggle, I tell ya.

And I'd say, "Lift your armpits up!"

And he'd say,"No! I want my armpits wet!"

And I'd say, "Turn around!"

And he'd say,"No! I don't want to turn around!"

It's a struggle, I tell ya.

Between wanting to piak his buttock and leaving him wet and cold, a smile, however always manages to creep in.

It's a struggle, I tell ya. Frowning and smiling at the same time.

Finally, when I tell him to get dressed, guess it. The reply is, "No, I want to be naked!" And he gives the silliest shriek and runs around the room Tarzan style, flapping his arms around, kinda like a chicken.


At 11.30am, he performs his post-bath ritual.

It's a struggle, I tell ya! (But I am smiling.. )

One shoe

Many years ago, somebody pissed me off. Well, actually he didn't. I think I was more bored than pissed.

So I took one side of his shoes and threw it in the bin on the 7th floor. We were living on the 13th.

I took one, so he would put on one side of the shoe and waste ten minutes or so of his life wondering where the heckaroo is the other side.

I took one, so his head would be muddled as to why on earth a thief would only steal one side of his shoes.

I didn't take both cos it's so lame and boring to have your shoes stolen. Instead, losing just one side of your shoes is more excruciating and frustrating.

You agree?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Lepak @ school

Not really.. I usually bring him up to his classroom and hurry back home. But there are some occasions that I bump into a mom or two and a conversation ensued.

Trust me. You can almost predict the flow of the conversation.

It always starts with, "How do you find the school?" which actually means, "Do you have any complaints to share?"

Then there are some updates about other schools or centres; about their new curiculum or programs. *yawn*

And then, of course, they have to warn you about the impending doom of your child upon entering Standard One.

I have an innate ability to carry a conversation, especially with strangers. I gasp and laugh at punchlines. When I am really in a good mood, I can even be suggestive (they should install mosquito nets).

But seriously, I just wanna go home and .... on msn or... eat lunch.

Like, seriously, mothers have nothing better to do ah? (sending the kids off is one thing, talkok with other mothers is another, ok??)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Udders and wattles

At around 10 pm yesterday, a deep roaring laughter was heard in my room. It was the kind of laughter which triggers hiccups and breathlessness.

Of course it came from Gooly.

We were reading a story about Two Cool Cows. Looking at the pictures, we sighted a pair of ugly but totally functional udders. That reminded me about something he said when he was 2+ which was so darn cute.

So I told him his story.

Long long time ago, a little boy named Gooly* was reading a story with his mahmee when they came across a picture of a rooster.

Innocently the little boy asked," What is this?" pointing at the red flesh under the rooster's beak. As his mahmee has a PHD in the field of Astronomy and Gastronomy, and not The Anatomy of Farm Animals, she went, "Hmm... I am not sure."

And so the little boy tried his luck, "Chicken wear bow tie?" in the cutest baby voice.

(This is the part he started laughing.)

As his mahmess tried to stiffle her laughter, she went, ""

The little boy then said, "Udders? Squeeze got milk?"

And the two of them rolled on the bed and laughed till the rooster crowed the next morning.

The end.

"AGAIN AGAIN!" He chanted. He liked that story so much. I had to repeat it a few times. And the laughter got louder and louder.

Finally he said, "I sure was a cute boy.."

You sure were, Gooly. :)

*Name has been changed to protect the rooster.

Tips: That flesh is called WATTLES. The crown on top is called CREST. They help ayams to get rid of body heat. Yeah, I took up PHD on the ANATOMY OF FARM ANIMALS after that.

And OH! He passed! He passed! It's day 5 without tantrums! Yipees!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Last week...

..whilst I was at work at the fire station , I left Gooly at home with my mom and sis. In that 2 hours, he brought the house down with his cries.

Aiseh.. *rub temples*

Of course he was unsure of himself. The new school. The new house. The new life.

I could understand all these. I empathised even. Hence I was dealing with him with utmost patience and larve....Larve Babeh...Larve......

Here is the thing.. He can be so angelic when he is with me. But behind me.. KNS! Talk about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in da house.

Anyways, I told him , shouting at family is No No No (Sing:Don't phunk with my heart) and punishments are imminent:

a. I took away his favourite toy.

b. He has to be with me the whole time I am at work at the space craft no matter how tired, bored or sick he is (with me.)

c. We were to cancel the swimming session due the next day.

I took out a calendar and marked an X on the day he misbehaved. I told him I will warrant a star on the other days he shows no temper. And with three stars collected, I will return his toy. And with 5 stars, we will go on a special outing (like Bak Kut Teh with Sinkar swimming at the club).

He readily accepted his punishments. I know he was really sorry for losing 'it'. He needed help in controlling his frustrations. And I gave him some tips. In fact he was crying so pitifully while holding our necklace, asking me not to be angry with him.

Actually I wasn't that angry. Disappointed, yes. And he knew it. It broke his heart more that I didn't yell at him, it seems.

Two days ago, he had already achieved his 3 star status, and happily received his toy by his side. I was happy with him too cos I had placed the toy in a drawer which is not too high for him to open. But he knew he wasn't supposed to reach for the forbidden toy. *proud*

With five stars today, he is officially off his probation period. He need not stay with me at the science lab anymore. To make it more challenging, I inserted a kid lingo. I told him he is at LEVEL 2 now. Just like the video games he plays.. He has accomplished Level 1. His eyes brighten and he optimistically accepted the challenge.

*bite nails* I will tell u how he fares tomorrow.


Friday, January 15, 2010

Yip yip


Today is the 2nd day that he came home with a smiley face.

..and surprised me with, "Ini apa? Ini kerusi. Ini ayam. Ini meja..."

and also, "Siau pen you, wu ahn. Jeng laushi, wu ahn."

I'm mightily pleased.

Sometimes he misbehaves...or throws a gargantuan fit. I see a scowl. I hear loud cries. And I wonder in fear, "Where did that little sweet Gooly gone? "

And then just when I thought I had lost him, I would see that impish smile again. Hear the deep roaring laughter. Feel his gentle kiss.

And I'd know he is back.

This time, I know my Gooly is back to his usual self (saccharine sweet) when he asked to keep our two-heart necklace whilst he is in school. That way he knows I am with him, especially when he is unsure about what to do in a new environment. (i.e to kick the teacher when she threatens him with the policeman again OR remain silent).

At the classroom door, I remove the necklace and pass it to him. He pats it in his pocket. Sometimes he wears it and tucks it in his shirt, careful not to let his friends see that he is wearing a girl's necklace. (Don't worry, he doesn't have to expose his chest in class at the moment). After school, the first thing he does is to return it to me.

"Here ,Mom. You can have it back."

Call it a talisman. A charm. A mother's love. That he brings to school and thus feels safe and secure.

I regret not buying a better necklace for us. But then again, any other necklace will not be the same as this one (that I am wearing now) that he had specially chosen and is aptly designed. I don't know how durable this necklace is. But I do know that it will be a pity to lose it. It holds so many precious memories for us and had helped us through chimakan days.

Ah.. it's like having an heirloom in the family albeit a cheap one.

Oh Gawd!

Is God a boy or girl? (err..)

How do we send this letter to God? (burn siew fu)

Can we see God on YOUTUBE? (Can.. search 'crazy people think they are god')

Does God have many hands? (kuan yin ke?)

How did God make me?

Nyuk nyuk nyuk....

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Heart crack

Dear God,

Can you find a job for papa in Kl? I miss papa. Thank you.

Love, *name

Ohhhh boy. Trust me. When I saw him wrote the note, my heart was like roti canai being tossed up and then down with a plop. In other word, kns.

Mid way writing that, he stopped and asked how to spell certain words. And then, he face was kinda funny looking, as though he was trying hard to think of an expression. And then he found it.

"Mom, when I miss papah, my heart crack."

Mann! I have never used that expression before. He must have felt it. I mean his heart breaking, literally.

I smiled and hugged him, trying to hide my pained face.

How do you mend a broken heart? I wanna know.


Just when life is rosy, it inevitably makes a swift left turn and throws shit at you.

We were king and queen, and him, the prince. Living in a castle far far away. With servants and knights. Swimming pool and rose gardens. Animals and coaches. (Hai ak.. exaggerate ak!)


Haih... everything is topsy turvy. From gallant prince, he became... a tyrant! And me, the Queen.. well, I am still the Queen lah. (Obviously still in denial)

Today is the 2nd week of tau tap tap ngan sap sap style of going to school. I had to let him keep our necklace in his pocket so that he feels I am with him during this difficult period.

I don't know if that works. But he hung on to it with such strong emotions. It was really like sending him off to RAKAN MUDA programme in the deep deep jungle called PANDORA.

We are going for KFC later. And will get the chicky meal with sampah toy. It's an encouragement technique, not bribery, ok?


Now, tell me, how were we banished from our kingdom again?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Bribery dan kisah selanjutnya

I am so bad at doing that. At bribing.

If I were stopped by a traffic police for speeding, the most convincing and yau-ying-doe-sei speech I can deliver is "TAK MUNGKIN!"

TAK MUNGKIN is also applicable for illegal u-turns, dashing red lights and urinating in public.

It's hard for me to utter those three words - "Inchik, boleh settle?"

The same for Gooly. I could never bribe him with sweets, toys and girls. Threaten, yes I can. But bribe.. It's so against my ..can I say principle?

Ok lah, don't say principle. Because tomorrow I may bribe him. (I know me. I am fickle like a sickle. Chui meh?)

Anyways, my abu resorts to bribery whenever the opportunity arises. Yeah, it sounds so wrong. But I think it's an opportunity for her if it allows her to be closer to her grandkids.

And so she said, "Gooly, you go school, Ahma buy toys for you." (after he ponteng half the lessons yesterday.)

And Gooly, the very difficult child said, "No need, Ahma. I don't want toys." Very the chartoe.

Ok, of course I am proud that he can resist such an offer. I was just telling him no more buying toys. And he obeys.

But if he had taken the offer and gone to school, that would have been easier, right?

On a short term basis-lah.

Ok, I take that back. He shouldn't be bribed no matter what. (told you I am fickle-minded).


He is quite a good kid rite? His behavior record previously was sparkly clean rite? Fine, with some crosses and skulls and poison signs here and there. But nothing too kikseiyan rite?


Why does he presently come back from school with tales which end with, "Teacher scolded me. I cried very LOUD." (which actually means he threw a fit, I am sure.)

Son ah son.. I really don't know. Are you causing trouble in school? Or the system is not right for you? How can you demand an apology from your teacher?

Actually, can he?

Hahahhahaha...(that, FYI is a very sad laugh)

What do kids talk about?

The other day, Gooly was in the car chit chatting with his 8 yr old cousin. The topics varied from disgusting food (durian, can you believe it? Kids! Bah! What do they know?) to marriage (Again. Kids! What do they know about sex.. I mean marriage).

I chuckled numerous times eavesdropping listening to the conversation. There were some parts that I nodded in angreement. Unfortunately, there was also a part where my heart was all twisty.

First the funnies:
Cousin: Do you want to get married?

Gooly: Yes, when I grow up, I will get married with a girl and have children. (Ahh.. a very ideal life plan)

Cousin: I am never ever getting married. It's a lot of work. And you will have to kiss your wife. So, you better find one that is not UGLY.

*cricket sound*

Papah: That's a very good advice.

Despite the darting-dagger-stares that I threw at Papah, I admit from a male's perspective, that piece of philosophy is priceless.

And that it came from an 8 year old, my bones were tickled.

Cousin: When are you going back to Bangkok?

Me: Not so soon. We're gonna be around for awhile. Isn't that good?

Gooly: No. I will miss my papah.

*cricket sound*

Gooly: You know? I will miss papah.

I know. And I am sorry.

I have said many many many things to console him. That much I can do. I can't fill up that empty space in his heart.

He starts his day by saying, "I miss papah. Is he coming back today?"

He ends his nights by asking, "When is papah coming back? I miss papah."


We are working on it, k? Give us some time.

Bah! I used to think Mothers could fix everything. Broken hearts and all...Dem.. this task is hard. Can YOU help please?


Yesterday at 12.43 outside the classroom

Gooly: *tau tap tap* Mama...

Mama: What....? *impatient*

Gooly: *tears rolling down* Mama... I miss papah...

Mama: I know but you still need to go to school.

Gooly: *bawling* I miss papah! I don't love you anymore!

Mama: *green veins erupting* What is wrong? Why don't you want to go to school?

Gooly: Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I'm tired! I want to go home and rest.

This battle went on for a while. I was so freaking mad I took him home. He kept on saying "My mama is mean! My mama is so mean!"

And I retaliated by saying he was mean too.

Wt... it was like two 5 years old fighting.

I couldn't reason with him.

I didn't know what to say.

I didn't know how to bribe him.

This is all too new for me! We never quite had this problem before!

I was mad, sad, worried, disappointed, murderous. He was mad, sad, angry, crazy!

We got home, and the whole 'world' spoke to him. My mom, my dad, my bro, my sis. And his only response was "NO! My mama is the meanest!"

*Dem PK! Fan guat chye betul!*

I couldn't think straight. There were so many people talking at the same time. I told him, "Let's go somewhere." I was thinking of a place where we could talk. Let him tell me what is wrong with the school, teacher, friends.

OR maybe what is wrong with ME?

We got in the car and he asked me, "Can you sayang me first?"

Oooh.. Gooly. I do sayang you. I do I do I do.

We talked a while. And I suggested that we start all over again. Let's go school again. He agreed.

With his feet entering the classroom, the war between mother and son was declared over. No causalities involved. Just some heartaches. And ear aches.

Today, with numerous cheong-hei reminders, he stepped into the classroom as though yesterday's episode didn't happen.

It is still a mystery why he behaved the way he did yesterday.

Gawd! Please let the mystery be history. No more battles at school!

Tolong! Tolong! I don't want to be seekor gila babi yang melampau yang memakan charsiewpau.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Do you have a shoulder for me to lean on?

I miss papah.

I am tired.

I don't want go school

*loud wail*

Blek. Starting a new life here aint easy!

Can I wail too?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Luo Ye Gui Gen

Fallen leaves.

Malaysia, whether you like it or not...

We are calling you home.

Ma, I am back..........

*terminator mujik*

Friday, January 1, 2010


You woke this morning and exclaimed, "It's MY birthday!" I managed a yawn and a greeting simultaneously - Haiippih Buurhfday...! with my eyes half closed.

You instructed that I said it with much more zest while you plopped back down to bed, pretending to be still asleep. The idea was to 'surprise' you with a loud over-the-top HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I obliged of course.

And your "is it really my birthday finally?' look was really convincing.

You thought you were six because you blew off 5 candles at an early celebration with Ada.

I said No. You are 5.

But you said you were five last year.

I said No. You were turning 5 last year.

Poor lad. You were so confused.

And so you are 5 relunctantly. Today.

5 years. 1,2,3,4,5. That's five fingers on one hand. The same five fingers I have held for five years.

As I held your hand, guiding you, I knew the other five fingers on the other hand are eager to 'flee', even wanting to escape, perhaps. They are always pointing out something, poking at someone or picking up an object. But you were still a little unsure thus you hung on to me in the past years.

I guess being 5 means you will be more confident. You will explore more. It's ok. Don't be afraid.

Rest assured, whenever you look back, I am there. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a frown. (Give me a minute, and I will turn the latter upside down.)

Grow grow grow...
Every hurdle
Every challenge
We will charge forward
Go go go.

Happy Birthday, Gooly!


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