Friday, July 31, 2009

You decide

Not a care in the world. Bliss. Alone. Afloat. The Unsinkable. TGIF. Come What May. Don't Give A Shit. If dung can float, so can I.

The many suitable words to describe one happy moment.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I seriously don't want to go kindergarten

There are days when I look at people and radiate 'bugger off' signals. No reason for that. Totally uncalled for. But these signals come, not by my own volition.

Other days, I stare at people furtively, surreptitiously, observing..studying.. in my attempt to better understand humankind.

Some days I am disgusted with things I see; bullies, hypocrites, imbeciles etc.

Other days, I see hope, silver linings and the whole shebang.

Today I met Nong P at the park. Gooly as usual, jumped at the chance to have a playmate.

Never mind that Nong P doesn't talk. It's ok that he runs awkwardly, and Gooly doesn't care that he mutters to himself.

As usual, Gooly was totally oblivious that.. yes, Nong P is autistic.

A lady, may I add, a sweet kind lady.. was there with Nong P and his maid. Because of my mediocre Thai, I could understand only that this lady was not a family member, she just likes playing with Nong P.

She encourages Nong P. She beams when he accomplished a simple task. And she seems appreciative that Gooly would play with him. She was so gentle with him that if not for her non-silai looks, I'd have mistaken her for Nong P's mom.

In smattering English, and with eyes that almost pleaded that I understand the child's condition, she said,"Nong P is slightly autistic."

Maipenrai (It's ok).. I said, as my heart beat a melancholic tune. When the sun was too hot for us to stick around, she ushered Nong P to me, and prompted him to give me a 'wai'. I ruffled his hair and said, "See you around."

As I headed back to my apartment, I marveled at the lady's kindness and love toward a child, whom she has no family ties with. Her spoken English wasn't exactly excellent, but the fact that she said "autistic" could only mean that she has taken time and effort to understand the child's behavior. (Nong P's mom is Danish, and I assumed has told this lady about autism.)

She would make a good kindergarten teacher.

But she won't be happy. Because people don't want manners and kindness. They expect A's for their children, you know?

I am so not going to kindergarten. They teach you nonsense these days.

Joe-san kok wai!

Goooood morning America!.. and the rest of civilization!

My hair is getting slightly longish.

I can now tie it up into a tiny lump at the nape of my neck when I mop, sweep, cook, want to disguise as an ugly old maid want to make believe that tiny ponytails is in fashion.


My son doesn't think so.

"Mahmee, you look so preedey when you tie up your hair."


*looks at mug of coffee* I don't need you to lift up my mood today, you lousy mug of caffeine. You never say I am pretty. You never notice when I tied up my hair.

*looks endearingly at Gooly* Want to have ice cream for breakfast?


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Papah the player

I am the sort of mom who plays bored board games. I like scrabbles, Wheels of Fortunes, etc. I cannot tolerate jumping monkeys. I hate screaming hyenas. And I cannot possibly bring myself to dance in public, even when begged by my own flesh and blood.

Which is why.. I am so grateful for Papah.

Err.. nope.. He doesn't dance in public either. BUT he:

a. plays sword fighting with Gooly behind closed doors while I say, " I don't want to know what's happening in there."

b. lets Gooly be obnoxious and the most nerve-bashing remarks he can come up with is, "YOUR son.. that 'lansi' face is from YOUR genes." while I try hard not to laugh. (which entails that if Gooly were ever obnoxious to me or other people, he will GET IT from me.)

c. woke early that day to bring Gooly down to the park for a quick morning walk, while I just stared at the ceiling and wondered, "Who on earth wake so early and take a leisure walk before coffee?"

d. laughs when Gooly burps and farts while I pretend I didn't hear any.

e. offers ice-cream treats even after saying that he felt Gooly's thighs are getting corpulently delicious.

Ah.. you see. Our parenting methods and ideas are quite different..but the good thing is, they are never conflicting. We are not eyeing on the 'charfityan' position. Neither do we confuse Gooly with our different strokes as we don't argue in front of him.

We just play different roles. I teach, papah plays.

I may be a "Sergent"(Tabhik!).. I may be authoritative..I may be strict....a lil boring at times. But as declared many times, I am not a dictator. I like the balance Papah strikes. Seriously, growing up in an army cum nerd camp isn't gonna be fun for Gooly.

Gooly, thank your papah for the balancing force.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Lil chats

I love chatting up with Gooly. I have always liked talking to kids. The elements of surprise and innocence they exude- me likey.

We talk a lot, Gooly and I. Before we sleep, when I cook, in the car, while shopping, while pangsai.. From birth, we have covered a wide range of topics but I must say..

.. we have quite forgotten about one important subject - ME!

And it would seem like he wants to know about me.

Him: How do you know that? (oh, we were chatting about Galileo's theory :P)

Me: I learned it in school. (actually it was from some crap movie)

Him: YOU WENT TO SCHOOL? (totally shocked)

Me: Yaaa.... I did..... (a lil surprised and insulted that he found it shocking)

Him: For how long? 128 years?

Me: *grins* Not thhhaaat long.. But ya...about 120 years. *grin*

Him: WOW!

About time you get to know me, son. I have so much to confuse you tell.

Jokes aside, he does pick up a few hints about myself. Like...

..once he drew a treasure chest, and gleefully announced that it contained BAGS..glorious, beautiful, whore-rific bags for me. Heh heh heh.. Anya's, LV's, Spade's, BV's.. (Okeh, he didn't say that..but whilst we are fantasizing, might as well!)

.. he likes asking other people to buy me durians, even ersatz ones whilst pinching his nose.

..and between steaks and dimsums, he knows I'll choose s.u.s.h.i.

My son, my confidante.

Err..but now you also know about my sinful indulgence. Wanna be chums?

Monday, July 27, 2009

What do you say before you leave?

Everytime papah leaves the house to work, he tells Gooly, "Take care of Mahmee."

*sob* It's like what the man in the ad. told his unborn child.

It's strange cos the other day, a friend had just asked if we say 'I LOVE YOUs' every morning before leaving the house.

We do.

I am so glad we do.

Do you? To those whom you love and who love you?

Al-fatihah Yasmin Ahmad. (The above ad is not done by her. But life can be indeed fragile. Treasure our loved ones. That's what Pn. Yasmin has been telling us in her many many touching ads.)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Making Friends 101

70% of the time, I am amicable.. BUT! that Thursday evening, I was the other 30%.

Gooly and I were at the park downstairs. He was playing with this girl, about his age, without a word spoken to each other. Just a lot of running and sweating and laughter.

For awhile, it was just me and the blue sky and a gentle wind zephyr. Just the right setting to spring clean my muddled thoughts.

And so I had my usual dosage/ritual of soliloquy:

Did I turn off the air-cond? I think I did. Maybe I didn't. Eh, that guy quite hawt - looking. Looks like Gooly's gym teacher last time. GG will like that look. Maybe not. What to eat tonight? Eggs, need to buy eggs. Must call ahbu. I wonder if I should fry or steam the eggs.

They were going at a speed of 110mph with no signs of braking. While the left brain handled the mundane, confusing details of my everyday life, the right brain went on about emotional and illogical matters concurrently:

I don't feel like talking. Did I wear my bra out? Yes, I did. No wonder I feel suffocated. I hate chicken breasts. Why is she looking at me? No, I don't want to make friends. I don't speak thai. I am wearing my spectacles. I hate making eye contact with my 2 inch thick glasses. I don't think she wants to be friendly either. She doesn't look interested. Is she smiling at me? Crap.. she is..

I stopped my bullet-train of thoughts right there to hear: Hello, where are you from?

Huh? A perfect English sentence. What a pleasant surprise.. and an equally pleasant smile. I reciprocated (after brushing my tongue around to ensure no remnants of kangkung was insight)

And so we chatted. It turns out, Ada, her daughter was born in the same month and same year as Gooly, making them just the right age to play. Ada speaks English too. Yay! And the mommy shares the same name as me, Simone Lee Presley*. How uncanny!

That's life. When you totally didn't want to participate in any tete-a-tete with any party, it didn't care. It throws one right at you forcefully. Luckily I am not that obstinate cos it turns out.. I enjoyed the chat.

We are swimming together today.

I should really put on contacts and nicer bras and panties and be more wary about oral hygiene, even it's just a trip downstairs to the park, because who knows I'll be befriending next. (Should consider lipsticks and eyeliners too.) There seems to be more 'aliens' around here these days. Just need to adjust my antenna a lil' to receive better transmission.

Thought for the day: Making friends as an adult has been perceived as difficult simply because we are more cynical and lazy than we were whilst in kindergarten. But little pleasant surprises await us at parks. : )

*Name has been changed because I have always wanted a fancy/puerile name like that.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Ilmu Hisap Darah..

Besides Arts, I am also horribly terribly atrociously hopeless in Maths. I see you raised an eyebrow. Why so surprised? Now you know I am not purrr-fect.

So!...Numbers scare and bore me.

My earliest memory of how 'suckie' my arithmetic is, is as below:

I was 10 years old. I had Rm1. It was a hot and sweaty day, and I had a hard time deciding what to buy at the school canteen. I was so rich, I panicked. Should I buy the sugar-laden doughnut with flies hovering over it? Or the hard like rock karipap? Ah.. what about that ice-cream stick? I checked the price. 10 cents..... A good bargain.

Digging deep into my pinafore pocket, I dished out my crumpled Rm1 note. Handed it over to the Malay lady and proceeded to rip open the ice cream sirap. While sucking on it, making my tongue all pink, I stood patiently for my change.

Remembering what ahbu always told me, I checked if I got the right change. 1, 2, 3, 4.....90 cents. It can't be! I counted again... 1, 2, 3, 4...90 cents. Really wor...

Die! The lady short-changed me. I was in dilemma. Should I approach her?

After deep concideration, I braved myself and charged forward and told the canteen auntie,"Kamu bagi saya sempilan puluh sen. Saya bagi awak satu hinggit"

"Yelah! Betul-lah! Habis..Makan ais krim tak payah bayar ka??????????????"

Oh my bitter-gourd! That was like so memalu-balukan!

One ringgit minus ten cents equals ninety cents. How hard is that? Very me when I was 10. Now it's easier a bit.

And the only time I passed my Ilmu Hisab with a mediocre C, was when I got a new pencil case, which when flipped, revealed the whole treasure of the TIMESTABLE....right up to 12!

I struggled on until Form Five when copying answers for Additional Maths every morning doesn't seem like fun anymore. I threw in the white cloth. And never look back ever since.

Eekk... I hope Gooly will fare better in the canteen and numerology.

*put on paper bag over my head* Ok..start laughing.

Ops! He did it again.

Remember Gooly drew a school of fish the other day? Guess what? He did it again! Only this time it's a flock of birds.

Ish ish ish..budak nie...

Now let me tell you..L.A.Z.Y is a forbidden word in this 40sqm apartment. But I know he is using short cut. The first time he did that, I refrained myself from being judgmental and harsh. I also didn't want to jump into conclusions too quickly. I have after all, misunderstood him before.

And the flock of dotted birds came today....

I inhaled and exhaled a bit..and told him, "It sure is one easy way out. You can dot anything, everything... The dots can be fish, birds ..anything, right? Clever.."

He nodded.

And I burst his bubbles. "It's easy...clever even..But it's cheating."

Bingo! You should see the guilt on his face.

Haih, son.. I don't expect you to be Picasso. I may not be a good art teacher to you, but I hope to be a good moral guide. I know you didn't inherit any artistic genes from us. But the least you can do is to try and persevere.

Look at this. I am happy with simple drawings and writings as such. Because it's from you. Your hands created this.

Put in effort when doing something, anything. That's all I ask from you. Thank you.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

To P or not to P?

Why do we shiver when we wee?

WHO ON EARTH WONDERS THINGS LIKE THAT???? Well, apparently my son does.

Were you an inquisitive child? I know I was ..until age 5.. until my apah shut me up. I remember I was asking about Chinese horoscope. In a very cute voice, I asked:

Apah, this year is what year?

(Name one animal. I cannot hint how old I am.)

"After ________, is what?"

"And then?"

"The next year leh?"

I went on and on and on until half of the animals were mentioned. Finally, apah sang:


(Spice Girls! I *heart*that song!)

No-lah.. he said something about children shouldn't be asking so much. Typical. That killed my curiosity all right! How ironic! Instead of killing a cat, my curiosity got killed.

OH..where was I?

Ah yes..

Why do we pee when we shiver?

Why do we shiver when we pee?

Why do you read my blog when I need to pee?

To pee or not to pee, that is the question.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

* I . LAF. U *

Do you think there is such a thing as - inappropriate moments to utter those 3 words?


....when I am trying to break the 4 x 100 m Horlimpik record doing my laps in the swimming pool, and he hollers:


...and I have to stop my momentum, turn my head toward him and hear:



... when I am doing something really important like taking a dump, and he knocks on the door, and I terkejut yang teramat sangat. So I shout, "WHAT?" only to hear:


What about ..

..when he wakes, and sits on the bed, stares blankly into darkness at ungodly hours..waking me up in the process, and mutters:


And then..

... there are times when I yell at him, threaten to cook 'tantiew mun kai' a.k.a 'rotan ala sugar CANE', and he hugs my legs and whimpers:



Anytime, anywhere..these words are instant cure to moodiness, sadness, chisin-ness, mangchang-ness dan pms-ness.

I don't think anyone has said 'ILAFIU' to me so many times before in my life. Only 4 and half years spent together, and he had already broken the record of all the people whom I know who love me, and tell me so. Even during undeserving moments. (AND YES! GG, I know not many people love me. I'd be lucky if they don't voodoo me.)

I think he is the sort who goes "I just call to say I lafiu". :-)

But gooly, do me a favour. Just don't sing the Barney song.

I'm ready to cut.. no.. I am not.

The apron strings.

When do we snip them off? When do we know it's the right time? Is it a conscious effort? Or will we realize that the string has been tugged loose ONLY when the offspring leaves the nest?

It seems to me (and many others) that I am one dictator who holds the golden scissors, ready to snip snip snip, while the poor child clings on to my legs. All in the name of INDEPENDENCE (for him). Thank you for the apt title.

Look, I don't want him to be a wuss. I don't want him to cry and whine. I don't want to be wiping his arse at 40.

I want him to take care of himself. I want him to be independent. I want him to be confident.

I want.. I don't want.. Sigh.. What about what he wants or what he doesn't what? What if he is just not ready? What if I am pushing him, forcing him, dictator-ing him.. making the emotional distance between us unnecessarily wider?

Once, I met a funny lady who tells subtle, classy jokes. But she throws killer stares at her son. She silences his silly antics with one finger. (She didn't kill him lah) I thought she is a nicer person when she is not mom.

Whadyda know.. I . am . just . like . her . now. Ptoooi~

Ya ya.. 20 years later, he will know how much I had loved him to discipline him. Yada yada yada.

But what about now?

I want to be fun. I AM A FUN PERSON. You all know that....

I don't want to be saying, "Pick up your toys" every 1 hour.

I want to let him eat whatever he wants, wherever he goes.

Hell, I want to laugh when he farts at people's face!

But instead, I am a dictator!

*pout* An unhappy and unwilling one.

Anyhoo, whenever I am in doubt about my dictatorship, I read one of my favourite poems by Khalil Gibran.

It teaches me to be 'steady'

Here it is. Words in parenthesis are my thoughts:

Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life longing for itself
They come through you but are not from you
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you

You may give them your love but not your thoughts (THIS ONE SUSAH LEH!)
For they have their own thoughts
You may house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strike to be like them but seek them not to be like you (GASP!)
For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth
The archer sees the mark of the path of infinite and
He bends you with His might that his arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness
For even as He loves the arrow that flies
So He loves also the bow that is stable.

I am the bow. I am stable. I need to be stable. (kenot be saujanjan as a parent, ok?)

Steady..... steady.... ('Jajabing' talking. Remember that Starwars scene? Quick! Click 'comment' or X again! I am terkeluar tajuk again!)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


1. I am not a big fan of ice creams. But I don't detest them.

2. I really like those which were sold in Pasar Malam eons ago. Neh, those umbrella-shaped ones? Most of the time , it was yam flavoured with a rim of whitish coconut. And they always dropped off before I could finish them. I wonder if they still sell those?

3. Ais krim sirap. It was cylindrical. Actually it was just sirap frozen. Many flavours - Sarsi, pineapple, lychee, milo. Cost about 0.20 cents. The way to eat it was to snip off the tip, and start sucking. At the very last few drops, you tilt your head backward, and pour the contents into your mouth. *shivers*

4. Ice cream potong. Durian flavour please. Kacang merah - 2nd choice. Jagung - last option.

5. Ikea ice cream. Bu-chuo der. Cheap and creamy.

6. Ice-cream man. The last time I was a patron, I was conned into buying 5 extra sticks for this family. I see nothing much have changed for the past 30 years. They still have durian, green lime with vanilla, orange sticks. Same ole same ole.

7. Strawberry flavour. I think it's for sissys.

8. i-berry. Only in Bangkok. Sedaps. Once a man stole my durian flavour. The end.

9. i-berry, season 1, episode ke 2. See anyone familiar? *wave wave* The mini cones are like super cute, right? NGAUUUM! One bite habis.

10. Ice-cream kiosks. More choices than Malaysia. See?

Makes you wanna try everything right? Which one would you have picked?

But Gooly wasn't very co-operative. He didn't want to try any. First time I had to force him to eat an ice cream, but still he didn't want. Bah! He chose another snack. So my 'beautiful flower' couldn't be with the 'butterfly'. (See clearly la. Got Garden theme one)

Gooly sniffing a flower.

Dem paakchi.. Don't be fooled. It doesn't taste as nice as it looks. Maybe I don't like pineapple and sala. What the heckaroo is sala?

11. Ice creams make us childish. *giggle giggle* And sticky. *yucks*

12. Star-scream. Transformer. (You should click 'comment' below or 'x' on top NOW. I am digressing already. AS USUAL~~~~)

Monday, July 20, 2009

A Lullaby for Gooly

I have a confession to make
I steal kisses
From you
At night
When you sleep

Your breathing soft
Your eyelashes long
You are taciturn
Almost angel-like
Sans the wings

Sometimes you giggle
About your dream
I hide a smile
and wonder
What Mr. Sandman brings you
At night

When you stir
I try to lay still
Hold my breath
Until you snore again

Then you wake
and stare blankly
into darkness

You look around
Find my face
and murmurs

I steal another kiss
Your cheek smooth and clear
I ruffle your hair
So straight and soft

I love you too, Gooly
Shhh! Go back to sleep
Close your eyes
Go catch some more dreams

I steal your kisses at night
I hope you don't mind
Come and get mine
When there is light

There will be plenty
Be rest assured
Cos I love you
Day and Night

Now, sleep tight.


The only thing which is consistent in our daily activities is our bedtime story-telling.

2 books usually. 5, when I am really in a good mood. 10, when he has been reaaaaallly unbelievably good.

We read all sorts of books. Fictions, non fictions. Books about dinosaurs.. books about animals.. books about human body..books about dinosaurs..Did I say dinosaurs already?

Triceratops, Stegosaurus, Kentrosaurus, Baryonx...Bah! They aren't exactly my favourite. The reason I can spell them out now is because I have the books with me now. (They are everywhere, every corner of the house)

Gah! I cannot even pronounce their names. We read about them every night and the very next day, I forget about which ate plants, and which were carnivorous.

*Rubbing my temples. Headache *

But guess who can...? *grins*

Meet Gooly, the nerd paleontologist.

It started off with Barney. And then Jurassic Park Part 1, 2 and 3. But he is not interested in Ice Age 3. Dunno why. But he adores dinos. Every single one of them. *excuse me while I yawn*

Any-hu, we were reading yet-another-dino book the other day, and we came to this part:

"Before the dinosaurs disappeared.."

He stopped me right there and said, "They didnt disappear. Still got fossils".

Wokeh..extra work.. Now I have to edit what I read. *jeling*

And when we came to this part:

"Nobody knows how the dinosaurs extinct.."

He interrupted again, " Only Gooly* knows.."

You do? What is your theory?

"The t-rex ate up all the other dinosaurs. And then one strong boy has superpowers, he catch the tail and flung the t-rex into the water."

And he flung the bolster across the room.

Hmm... Ultraman, how did you get into our lives?

"name has been changed for fun.

WT.. episode ke 2

We all know that I am not very artistic.

Fine, I am not artistic AT ALL!

*whisper* I think Gooly has my genes.

He doesn't enjoy artsy stuff. We have paints, crayons, colour pencils.. all sorts of art paraphernalia because I had wanted to encourage him to be otherwise. I wanted to believe that just because I am not artistic, it doesn't mean that he can't be.

I am like a dry desert when it comes to art projects. I have admitted that we only do kitschy arts. Boring stuff like potato stamping. Even then, the shapes that I carved are indistinguishable. And remember our pathetic Autobox Transformer project? It's laughable, seriously.

My point is - I am just not a good art teacher.

This morning, I slotted a drawing time for gooly (as if we have a schedule to follow :P). He can draw something... anything in the whole wide world. (Don't say I am a digtator ah!)

He chose the underwater scene.

Cool. Anything you like, dear.

First, he drew a wiggly line across the paper. Ah.. it's the border that separates the sea and the sky. Hmm.. looks like he knows what he is doing.

Then he drew.. erm.. ah.. something that resembled a sea serpent.

Oh, it was Plesiosaur, the prehistoric sea creature.


And then..

I heard duuk..duuk...duuk.... He was poking the paper with his colour pencil. Duuk duuk duuk duuk... Small dots appeared.

Err, what are you doing, gooly?

"I am drawing small fishes. A school of fish. They are swimming the same way. They are really small. You can't see them. You need a magnifying glass. Wait, I get you a magnifying glass. "

Chartoe yang teramat chartoe.

Haih.. I dunno. He doesn't like to draw? He doesn't know how to draw? He is being lazy? He is being creative? He's sneaky?

When he brought over the magnifying glass, I was thinking, "Seijaipau! Kew nei wak hoisin, nei wak mud yeh? Hai mai oi rotan??!" BUT I held my tongue for a moment.

And then I look through the magnifying glass and said, "Ya, I can see the fins."

And he went on about underwater sea creatures facts which can make many jaws drop. He knows a lot, but he doesn't draw. So, that's WOW and SIGH at the same time.

Anyways, I reckon Art is supposed to be fun. Art is subjective. Art is about creativity. I don't want to restrict whatever creativity by making our art time a torturous one.

Art may not be his thing, but at least he found a way to finish his project. And he said A SCHOOL OF FISH! And he knew they always swim the same way. C'mon! Cut him some slack! He guna his kepala hotak okay! (though not in a good way)

Having said that, I am not sure how I will react if the teacher in school tells me his 'kuwak' stints next time. Oh, I can always say, "You are the teacher, you deal with it!"


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Whadya know..?

Today I over heard somebody telling his child, "Look at this boy. He is very brave. Very clever. Not afraid of water. Come into the pool, like this boy. Come!"

(Probang sai kaa... Koon king maak...Chai kap...Mai soon jai kaaa.. Somchai tomyum kaa..Sawadeekap... Krapkunkap...Sikap..) - Bwahahahhah! I understand more than I speak lah!

Yup, he is talking about my son alright!

Not long ago, we were telling Gooly the very same thing. Whadya know... He's an example to others now.

And the other day, my confidence was raised another notch when a new friend marveled at the way Gooly behaved.

He said sorry when he accidentally knocked into her.

He said thank you when he was offered some drinks.

He offered me a seat at the BTS.

He did many other things which I had forgotten to pay attention to already.

Sure, we have our battles, wars, screaming matches little disagreements.. but whadaya know... we are doing okay.


: )

That's the thing, like che_det once said, "Kita mudah lupa.." We tend to forget the good stuff. We tend to magnify problems in our lives instead of being microscopical about the pleasures in our life.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Mud yeh gum hoe siew?

Gooly has funny bones.
He laughs easily and loudly.
He's someone you wouldn't want to be caught with in the cinemas or libraries.

He is a hysterical laughter.
He gives belly-roaring, guttural laughs.

When he runs, he flaps his arms like a chicken, and he laughs like a hyena.
Obviously, he doesn't run to win.
He runs for fun.

When he tells a joke, he goes like this, "What.. hahaha.. do you call...hahahha... a deer..hahahah with no eyes.. hahahhahahah?"

And if you told a joke, he will laugh before he gets the punch line, just as a gesture of appreciation that you are paying him attention.
He makes a very good audience.

If you sang him a silly song, he'd ROFL, with tears spurting out.

If you farted or burped, he'd contribute the noise pollution a few decibels higher with his laughter.

If your hand is anywhere near his armpit area..
Yup, you guessed it.. he laughs like a pontianak.

And he kinda makes you wanna laugh when ..
all you want to do is sulk and pout,
mope and cry.

Once, out of peer pressure, I reprimanded him for laughing too boisterously.

That I regret to this day.
Something I will never do again.
A child deserves laughter.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Ayam Percik and Mona Lisa

When I wake, this is what I see (when Gooly doesn't park his face inches from mine).

Little fluffy white clouds. (What? I wake 7 early 8 early now, before the Sun is on the top of our heads, okeh?)

I love the view.

Why are clouds prettier here?

Ah.. I know. Because there are no grilles to obstruct the panorama.

I hate grilles. They make us look like we are in prisons. Instead of preventing thieves and robbers and 8pohs coming in, they stop us from jumping off the building when the need arises (contohnya: the announcement of an impending visit from your M_L. You need to buy a vowel here again).

The house I lived in prior to this, was grille-less too.

Free like a bird. Not caged. Not grilled. Yup, we like that.

On a totally unrelated but got-connection note, grilled chicken anyone?

PERHATIAN: Ayam percik ini BUKAN dimasak oleh saya atau mana mana pihak yang bermastautin di kawasan ini. Ia semata-mata untuk hiasan dan hiburan bagi tetamu-tetamu. Jikalau anda ingin .... (forgot my BM already lah! Think I so free do karangan ka?)

On a lagi tak related note, we went B2S the other day.

What is B2S? It's a stationery shop where they sell rows and rows and rows of watercolors, magic colors, crayons, pens, pencils etc. They make you artistic just by looking at them. I so wanted to buy so many things. But I reckon all my art-ventures with gooly will turn out looking like this:

So, what's the point, right? I settled with just two rollers and some paints and a canvas. Gooly was very excited and got down to work immediately when we got home.

He started with some splashes of greens and yellows. And finished off with strips of browns. He proclaimed his masterpiece as "FOREST TRUNKS."

Not bad, eh? B2s, we are going to visit you again. Boo! Be very afraid.

Artist: Goolypop, aged 4, sometimes 50
Materials used: Canvas and watercolors, a dash of spit
Inspiration drawn from: Nature, Mahmee and dung (no correlation)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Call me dictator, and I MARRY you!

Look, I am all for DEMOKRASI. I love to vote for matters like where to makan, which channel to watch, etc. I am a registered voter for Daerah Damansara. I am a demoCAT!


..when your child wants to wear a swimming cab to play football, do you not let...erm.. make him re-think his decision?


Football? Like that? Wt....

He looks like he is wearing a c_nd_m. For the benefit of my beloved son, I shall not spell out the whole word. But, go ahead. Buy a vowel.

*trying not to laugh*

Bwahahhahahahah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!...Gooly..But you look so cute!

Haih.. That's the thing with kids. They get to look silly, act silly and ask silly questions. So yes, I should let him be. Swimming caps for football games. Why not?

Let's rob the bank next!

Woooohooooo~ Mahmee is getting all sporting and fun loving! Don't ever ever ever call me a dictator AGAIN! Hic! (what? i only had yomeishue!)


(See how you can can me a dictator today)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


If "Yan can cook" (remember this show with that funny accented chinese chef?), so could Gooly.

And so he did. Celery soup. Yum... It was quite easy really. I chopped up the ingredients and he put them in. It gave him a sense of achievement. So great he felt that he immediately wanted to share his food with papah.

He opened up the window, and yelled," WIND, carry the smell off to papah's office!"


On a another food related note, we went out to Kayu for supper some time back. I love puris. Have you tried them? They are like mega-huge. Here, take a look.

So huge they are that Gooly's immediate reaction was, "Wow, mahmee..they are big! Just like your bra."

Ahem.. Yaumoegauchor? Mine are bigger, ok? :P

(See how you can call me a dictator today)

Monday, July 13, 2009

The things I do to keep him happy

At approx. 3pm, I changed my status at FB to "Rain, no rain? C'mon! Decide oredi!!".

It was because Gooly was nagging every 5 minutes to go swimming. Finally, I relented. We got changed and went to the pool.

..and drip drip drop...It began to drizzle.

Grrrrrreaaat! The rain wasn't heavy, but if we made a u-turn, the rain from Gooly's tear ducts will be unbearable!

Having been called dictator, stalin, 'richard' marx and a communist, I decided to chill out a bit. Relax...take deep breaths. What's a little rain? Let's open up the pool umbrella and wait a bit for the rain to stop.

Pitter patter.. Drizzle became rain. Uh-oh~

I began to grumble and whine like a 4 yr old - "What are we doing here? It's raining. I'm wet. I want to go home. I'm cold. I will get sick."

And Gooly who is 4.5 turned 50 - "Be patient. The rain will stop soon. Don't be angry. C'mon! You can use the towel to cover yourself."

Despite being 50, he began to dance and sing in the rain.



ฺBetween feeling manipulated, cheated, frustrated and wet, a smile managed to creep in. So, I put on the swimming cap, looked like an idiot to the other residents, and waited some more.

And when we finally dipped in the pool, it was freaking cold!!! Nobody told me anything about strong threshold against cold and rain when I applied for motherhood. Geeeeesh!

Why did I do that again? Ah yes, to keep my boy happy.

C'mon! Give me an award already! I'm cool. I let my son play in the rain. Just don't tell my MIL that.


Saturday, July 11, 2009


It's been a while since he killed some brain cells of mine.

He did it again, a couple of days back. Gooly wanted to know:


Oh-kay, son. You want to know why bananas are yellow when they ripe? Like how leaves turn brown? Or sky turns orange when the sun sets? You know what? I don't know. *smile* Lemme check with my friends.

She said it has something to do with PIGmentation, which makes sense until she explained it this way, "Long ago, PIGs loved bananas."

Meanwhile, he said something about maturity-breasts and periods. And somehow bananas got lost in the plot.

Whatdoido..whatdoido...whatdoido.... (with friends like them?)

I google the answer, of course.

So we learned about chlorophyll, and also never to depend on my friends on scientific matters.

Also, I thought he had given up his profession as a neologist right after creating "skoobables". There were no inspirations for new words for some time. All of the sudden, he resumed his duty as the creator of "ENGLISHEN".

My son is creating a new language called ENGLISHEN. Should I be ..erm...errr...ah... worried? *bite nails*

Why? WHY? Do you want to learn a new language, son? Learn Mandarin, Thai..Cantonese, even.. But when I try to teach you, you turn a deaf ear. Why Englishen? Why the trouble of creating a new language?

"Because it's easy with Englishen. You say 'tampong' when you tangle up a person with string. There is no English word for 'tampong'."


But nobody speaks Englishen. Nobody will understand you.

"I teach you. You learn it. First word is 'maiminpao'. When you blow bubbles, and nothing come out, you say, 'maiminpao."


WHY ME......why me......why me............

Duuk ..dukkk...dukkk.....*hitting head againts wall AGAIN*

Stage 2, FIGHT!

I am officially declaring year 4.5 as another stage of parenting.

I need new strategy.

I need new tactics.

I cannot be check-mated by a 4.5 yr old. Grrr!

Previously, I have naively thought I will never be using certain words in my motherhood career. Words like:

a. Listen to me. I am your mother.
b. Fine. Don't listen to me.
c. Don't ask why. Just do it.
d. Because I said so.
e. How dare you?
f. NO! Just no. Don't ask why.

Currently, I spit these words like a child spits peas . Very often and very unhealthy. To top it off, I have a perpetual "WT..." look. I scowl like I am constipated. Very often and also very unhealthy.

You would too if you listened to him talk. Like this:

Him: *pouring out some Smarties into a bowl* You tell me when to stop eating. But not now.

Me: Okay. When?

Him: *starts munching* Not now.

Me: Okay. *starts FB-ing*

(Few minutes passed. He sauntered to the sink and placed the empty bowl in it.)

Me: You finished everything? I thought you were supposed to leave some.

Him: You didn't tell me to stop. Next time tell me to stop.

That's when my face became constipated. That's when I heard an imaginary "check-mate!" Helloh! One moment of FB-ing, and he ate my 'pawn'?


Then again, it's only Smarties- matchbox size. I should just chill. It's not like he eats them and his teeth drop off there and then.

I know. I'm so contradicting.


Do excuse me. I am just trying to live another day without blowing a blood vessel, okay??

Now, back to the list on top. I should pick (e) "HOW DARE YOU?" in a shituation like this, don't you think?

I'm so losing my mojo. *gasp*

Duuk...duuuk...duuk...(my head hitting the wall)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Who is the boss?

While taking a dump, Gooly and I had this conversation.. was more like an argument... Whatever~ The thing was he was sitting on the WC at the shopping mall, yapping nonstop about atm machines.

Him: Sometimes you go to the atm machine, and the machine can transform.

Me: No, it cannot. ( I was harsh cos helloh! he was shitting! Why are we discussing this here?)

Him: YES! IT CAN. It can transform into a cooking machine.

Me: No! It can't. Now concentrate...Quickly finish off. It's smelly here.

Him: I can concentrate ...Uuhhk *pushing his shit* and talk at the same time. You face the other side.

Me: You are so bossy!

Him: Cover your nose.

Me: *roll eyes*

Him: The atm machine can cook, you know! (Oh boy, here we go again!)

Me: No! Atm machines are where you withrawl money from the bank. It doesnt cook. You are wrong!


Me: You are wrong because atm machines can't cook. Can atm machines cook? They can't! So you are wrong!

Him: *giggles* Of course ATM machines can't cook, you silly mahmee.

Me: *wt.. look*

Him: Ok, I am done. Wipe my buttock.

Me: Yes, sir~ Sigh! Look, can you say 'please' when you need me to clean your butt?

..which he did, eventually. But can you see how bossy he is?

Later that night, when I re-iterated that he is bossy, he said, " I AM NOT BOSSY! DON'T SAY I AM BOSSY!" I gave him that "THERE THERE THERE.. this is what bossiness is about!" look.

FYI, my friend calls him "koonkarjai".

Greeeattttt! Just great! I have two bosses now. And yet my bank account is pathetic. Ok, the reason I disliked discussing about atm machines is because...


Geddit, boss?

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Dear Gooly,

Here's the deal: when life throws you shit, you eat it , you flush it. You don't complain, you don't call up radio stations, you don't write to Thelma, you don't JUST cry.





Love, Mahmee.

Ok, the shit analogy is not great. But he gets the drift. After 4.5 years living on the same planet as other homo sapiens, he is finally attempting to break from the norm.

Yep, the norm of complaining. Sit and complain. Shit and complain. Cry and complain. Whine and complain. That's what humans are best at.

Because we are an alien family, we do not want to complain like the human race, do we? *ahem*

Here's what happened. Papah has been very busy this week. (This is a statement. It's not a complaint.) Gooly misses him. Say, how come I don't get to be missed? (This is a query, not a complaint.)..

Anyways, they haven't seen each other for days. I promised that when he awoke this morning, papah will be back. But then papah had to leave for work early. So Gooly missed him again. Today is the 3 rd day since he last saw him.

Naturally, he woke feeling dissapointed that Papah wasn't around. AGAIN. Because we aren't allowed to wallow in self pity, I asked,"What do you want to do to make yourself feel better?"

He picked up the phone and dialed the 10 digits number (which I have problem remembering.)

Hello? Papah?

Where are you? Working? Office?

The pool is too cold.

Yeah.. I know..

You know what..?

I love you.. Are you coming back tonight? Ok, I will wait up.

I miss you too.

Ok, bye..

I was brushing my teeth, eavesdropping. Smiling with a mouthful of Darlie foam isn't quite attractive. Nonetheless, I am sure the recipient of the caller was also beaming.

Gooly was all cheery after the call. Ah.. that boy had a problem, he dealt with it. There was no tears.

Now, there is nothing to complain about that, eh? (except that HOW COME I DON'T GET TO BE MISSED?)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Seriously, I do.

This is the clip we watch on screen before the movies start. We stand straight. We feel emo. We get teary. (Ok, perhaps only I do).

I have grown to love Thailand. Seriously? There is no other place I'd rather call home.

How do you say ILAFIU in thai? I dunno but ILAFIU, you know?

Monday, July 6, 2009

AUTOBOX- roll out and transform

Say, who hasn't watched Transformers II yet?

Shame on you! :P

Becos Gooly is a fan, and me, a greater fan of the robots, we simply had to do something about it.

The problem is, I am not very creative. I don't draw straight lines. Gooly is still at the stage of, "You do it for me, please." *roll eyes* No matter how I told him, I don't do art, excuse me, forgive me.. he still wanted a costume done.

While I delayed this mega-almost-impossible project with obvious reasons, he decided to just do one himself.

Bravado. The world's CHEAPO-EST transformer costume is available now. We accept orders. Copyrights reserved, k?

P/s: Did he say, "Damn it!" at one point? *gasp*

P/s again: I already said I am not a creative, artistic, fantastic mom, ok?

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Self reflection

A vain pot I am not!

In fact, I hardly look at myself in the mirror. But I do cam-'kokokai' quite a bit with Gooly, and the last couple of hundred shots made me realized that..

..don't laugh.

.. my right eye has some-what aligned itself to the left. It must be due to my super-bad eyesight; that I am using my left eye more than the other, making it now 'lazy'. It's not a major, MAJOR, can-die issue which I have to deal with, like right now, because according to a reliable source, it wasn't obvious. I'm still pretty (this he didn't say, but who cares? :P)

Oh boy, have I digressed!

I have meant to self-reflect on my mothering skill. I'm serving my reflection, the sandwich way. First, I spread the 'good stuff' I have done, then I lather the very bad things I have said, and lastly, I'll top it up with the usual "I promise I will improve myself" crap.

Why? Because I am hungry.

Let's get it over and done with. And I can have a real sandwich. Yum!

First, the good. I am no longer 'sucky' in the morning! I tuck in early, avoiding late chats with people like YOU, and thus have been able to wake with an NTV7 face (ceria ceria selalu). I serve brekkie willingly, send Papah off to work smiling-ly and shit quickly (I used to hide inside for moments of silence, remember?)

Now, the bad....

Say, we don't really want to spoil our appetite, right? So, let's do a summary of it, ok?

Pada suatu hari, I started calling him nasty things like greedy, selfish, naughty dan lain lain. His airmata mengalir. His heart went 'piiiang!' And sometimes Mahmee is eager to show off her vocabulary, so she would continue to diarrhea off shitty words.

There! That's the bad fatty bacon I inserted inside the sandwich.

Now, the final touch; the toothpick flag on top of the sandwich: I WILL NOT LABEL HIM WITH NEGATIVE REMARKS! (The flag is an allegory-lah! I am making a solemn oath upon a flag ok?)

Nice or not, my remorseful yet hopeful sandwich?

Sila makan. Jangan malu-malu and jangan komplen, ok? DO NOT LABEL MY SANDWICH WITH NEGATIVE ADJECTIVES, ok?

Friday, July 3, 2009

Mer-boy in action!

I was keen in capturing his aquatic moments, and have thus been asking around about camera casing and underwater camera and whatnots. Upon finding out about the prices, I thought it would be an unaccomplished task.

But yay! I found a disposable underwater camera. Look at mer-boy!

I told a friend that this new found skill is by far, the greatest milestone. The joy of him overcoming his fear of water, is more profound than his academia achievements.

ABC, momantai.

1,2,3, sapsapsuey.

Reading, easy besy.

Writing, coming soon.

Swimming, *applause* clap clap clap!!!! Hoe yeh! Hoe yeh! Bravo! Bravo!

The sense of achievement is greater when it's first met with failure and fear, but ends with triumph and victory. Read how he overcome his fear. There was no magic. He just didn't give up. :)

Well done, son.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Do you see what he sees?

If you were to point out a lady in a crowd to your 4 year old, would you identify:

a. her skin color (neh, that Indian auntie ah..)
b. her hairstyle (the lady with the long hair..)
c. what she was wearing (the lady in yellow dress..)
d. her position (the lady standing next to the car..)
e. whatever distinctive object she was holding (the woman with the umbrella..)
f. her actions (the lady talking on the phone..)

..the list is getting extensive. But most of us will choose (A) ? Agree?

I admit, sometimes it slips off my tongue, but rarely. I make it a point to describe someone using all adjectives and pointers, omitting racial information. Thus, Gooly is totally oblivious about Chinese, Malays, and Indians (and other ethnic groups.) These words are not part of his dictionary.

To him, we are all human, from different countries, speaking different languages at times. Some have darker skins because of a pigment called melanin. We are fairer because we stay out of the sun most of the time.

Sometimes when we walk by children with physical disabilities, I steal glances at him, wondering if he saw anything different. The answer will be NO.

For someone who has "WHY" glued to the tip of his tongue, and who has a keen observation skill, I am actually quite surprised that he doesn't ask anything about people in wheelchairs or folks with tubes stuck into their nostrils. We accompany Amah to the hospital often. He had seen many hospital patients, but to date, he doesn't stare or make rude remarks towards them. I am glad.

Sometimes he makes a very matter-of-fact statement like, "The man can't walk, he is using a wheelchair." I suppose when he sees the rest using other aiding machines, he thinks nothing is unusual. They are still human, they just need extra help with their daily activities.

Where we used to stay, there was a sweet Down Syndrome girl who was always willing to share her food all the time. Because she didn't speak, the other children didn't include her in all the games. Gooly was..well, treating her like any other children at the park. I was getting ready to explain to him about her conditions. Alas, I didn't because to him, she wasn't any different.

It was bitter sweet watching them play. She grunts, and he would make a wild guess at what she was trying to say. When he falls, she would pick him up, and brush the dirt off him. And when the sun sets, they wave goodbye to each other.

From Gooly's eyes, we are all the same though different. The differences must be insignificant. Weather it's the skin color, deformities, or other physical attributes. He gives no shiats.

I think I like his idea of living.

P/S: I just remembered, while ber-sushi with angeles the other day, a girl who was shaved completely bald, with a long scar across her head, was seated next to Gooly. She was still in her primary school uniform. I managed to steal glances covertly and it pained me watching her. Gooly, was, well.. totally unaware of her appearance. Look, he is the kind who draws little 'no parking' signs on his art paper. He is a detailed person. But when it comes to how a person 'looks' , he can be considered 'blind'. (That's why I am pretty to him :P) Gooly sees with his heart.

I see... I see..

Do you see?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Peace unto you!


Be quiet for a while...

Do you hear anything?

(Prooooot...- ignore this one)

Drown out the external noises....

What I mean is.... here, in my you hear anything?







Nothing, right?

Ya....that's because I lost my completely! Hence, I am so demure-like now, speaking so softly and gently instead of shouting and shrieking like a hyena all the time.

But guess what? I am zero decibel now but surprisingly can relate messages better to Gooly! At the airport, I had to resort to writing notes to him, and what a pleasant surprise to find that he could read ALL the words I had written.

I lost my voice.
Please stay close.
I can't shout for you if you went too far.
Do you understand?

He read and he answered and he smiled and he co-operated. : )

So I learned when we talk less, they listen more.

And his speeches are more tolerable, bearable ___________ (I don't know what word to use which is not offensive), because all I need to do is to nod and smile. Usually, he is not satisfied with that..not even the "uha, hhmm" response from me. But for now, he totally understands my predicament.

Ah...enjoy the peace while it lasts!

On an unrelated note, I was kicked out from the room yesterday because papah was obviously the creme de la creme of our return to BKK. I tried to eavesdrop thier mutterings..something about missing each other, transformers... Sweet! But my eyes were droopy by the 3rd topic I drifted off to sleep, in total silence (albeit with some uncontrollable snorts and snores).


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