Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Operator

When the house phone rings, I let it ring.. namely because:
a. I hardly get any calls
b. I am always in the midst of dung-bombing
c. the phone is too far (it's on the stair way)

So I did get loads of complaints; why nobody picks up, no one is ever at home.. ladida...

However we have recently a self appointed operator who runs to answer the phone like he is running the 100m dash.

Scene 1

Operator: Hellooo (real husky voice, dunno who he is trying to impersonate)
Caller: Hello, can I speak to you Mummy?
Operator: Caaaaaaaaaaannnn!

*5 seconds silence*

Operator: DO you know T-Rex is a dinosaur?
Caller: ???????

Scene 2

Operator: Hellloooo (real flirty voice, must be impersonating me)
Caller: Who are you?
Operator: Who are you?
Caller: Who are you?
Operator: Who are you?

This can go on forever should there be no interception from yours truly.

Scene 3

Operator: Hello! (finally got it right!)
Caller: Can I speak to your mummy?
Operator: Cannot..
Caller: ?????
Operator: You want to talk to me?
Caller: ?????

Scene 4

Operator: Who are you? (No hello, no wei wei, no sawadeekap)
Caller: *Did I call the triad?*

Aiseh..have to CHAU YAU YU already! Tak boleh pakai mia operator!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

How a son misses his papah

Papah James was suddenly called back for a meeting. It has been more than a month since we left Bkk. Gooly has been asking to go back, so he could see his papah. His ultimate objective is to show his new loots obtained during Christmas and his birthday.

As I wasn't sure of Papah's schedule, I was reluctant to share the good news until everything was confirmed. Knowing him, he would want every detail. And he would go on and on and on, and ask again and again and again. Very scary indeed.

Alas, Papah called and told me his arrival details. Only then I was able to break the news to Gooly, the interrogator:

Me: Someone will come back today..

Him: Who?

Me: Papah *mock exaggerated surprised face*

Him: And then? *looking concerned*
(He was already worried that his papah would leave soon)

Me: You can show papah your toys. But he will have to go work tomorrow.

Him: Where?

Me: In Subang.

Him: Need to take plane or not?
(Still worried that his papah will be far far away)

Me: No need. Just drive.

Him: *Face relaxed and a smile finally came* He comes back at night again?

Me: Yes, he comes back at night.

And he went on planning and deciding what to tell and what to show to his papah.

I miss you.

He hasn't learned these words yet. But his eagerness and sorrow express the feeling much better than the plain "I miss you."

Sunday, January 4, 2009

When I was younger..

I watched lots of Tv.. He-man, She-ra, Smurfs. I was neither popular in school nor a freak. There was always a gang to hang out with. I wasn't the prettiest, the smartest but I was definitely happy. I had guys as friends. I had girls as buddies.

And then I grew up a lil bit. I watched A-Team, Mcgyver and other craps. Again, I wasn't particularly outstanding in school. I stood at one corner during netball sessions. My art pieces were like junks. My maths, need I say, sucked? I wore spectacles and had braces. ( Ugly Betty :P) But I was definitely happy.

Happy with my gang, happy with myself, happy in our corner. Acknowledging other beauties, admiring cute guys. Loathing lessons, loving free periods. Very carefree indeed.

At some point, I was the teacher's pet as I was elected the monitor of the class. Arf! Arf!

"Kelas bangun, se-la-maat pa-gi, cikgu..." I called out and other classmates droned. And that's about when my gang was noticed as an elite group though we begged to differ.

Being very neutral and at ease with the opposite sex, my gang started recruiting some guys. We'd go out on weekends; bowlings, movies and such. We were pretty advanced then cos I don't think the other peers were doing them. Mind you, these weren't dates. It just so happened that we 'ngam key' eventhough we didn't share the same human anatomy.

We weren't the most popular. Heck, I think most of the other classmates would have forgotten me by now. Those who remember would always say, "Oh.. the gang .." (Like gangsta hoh?) I guess we were just a bunch of people lucky enough to have found each other. We were loyal, helpful and accepting.

So you see, I have been lucky all my life. Having friends, and being comfortable with them. There wasn't a need to be the prettiest or smartest or most popular. We didn't care so much for those stuff.

Hence I think, acceptance is the essence of a happy life. Don't confused that with 'approval'.

The purpose of this recollection is due to a conversation I had with a friend who said:

"Think about it..there were surely a teacher's pet, a weirdo and a black sheep in your class."

Ah so..? Which was I? (Yeah, you'd say weirdo and I disagree, wokeh?) It struck me that I have only happy memories of my schooldays.. or I was genuinely happy that I was oblivious of the other less fortunate ones? Or could it be things were much simpler then.. everyone was happy. There wasn't a need to be jealous, to bully or to hate. I reckon girls started getting bitchy only after Beverly Hills 90210 and boys being hamsap after Baywatch. Agree? (Side note- do you notice how I intertwine my thoughts with Tv programs? I really watched a lot, you know..What 9silapsap also watched..:P)

Will Gooly be as lucky? To find friends who accept him the way he is, the way I was accepted? FYI, the gang and I are celebrating 20 years of friendship. Along the way, I have picked up other precious ones; iloveedamame, Tracy, Shakira, Sawi Sekilo.. and then recently, blogging buddies.

Dear friends,

I am funny because you make me laugh.
I am crazy because you don't mind.

I am ugly because you let me.
I am pretty because you say so.

I care because you love.
I love because you teach me how.

My life greatest production (besides Gooly la) will be friendships.

My life greatest assets (besides my bags la) will be my friends.

Thank you? You hear me? Thank you from the bottom of my heart..


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Today in his-story

One day I woke up feeling lethargic. “Hmmph! I must get some exercise.. I am getting lazy,” I self-diagnosed my sluggishness and self-prescribed a gung-ho treatment. I dragged my feet off the bed and asked Sharkira if she was feeling fat. She said no but didn’t mind a swim. She came to pick me up and we jumped into her apartment’s pool. As usual she splattered water all around unnecessarily while I soaked, not swim. Ai? This isn’t working.. Where have all my energy gone? I was only 29.

I mustered all my energy to change so I could go back home. And then I slept for a whole 8 hours more. I woke to check the clock. 8pm. Dang, I was still tired. Yawn! The great grizzly must have felt that way prior to hibernation. And hibernate I did for another 12 hours or so.

The next day, I was convinced that I was sick. A fever, perhaps? I went to the clinic and lamented, “I’m sooooo tired…” The doctor ordered for a urine test and I thought, “Yoh.. this is gonna cost more than usual.” A few minutes later, she smiled and said, “Congratulations, you are gonna be a mom!’

Yoh.. this IS gonna cost more than usual..” And what could I do but cry? Waaah..waah..waah.. I went. So memalukan.

“You have been trying for a baby for long?” she wondered. Eh? Err.. ah… not that I know of. Of course I didn’t tell her that. I nodded and continued sobbing; playing the role of a dutiful wife, whose ultimate dream to mother a child has come true. I could have won an Oscar, really.

And so, son.. I was scared and confused when I found out that you were in my tummy. Will I be a good mahmee? Am I ready? Am I wise enough? There were endless questions. Despite that, I was sure of one thing though; “You will be loved.”

That’s the first thing I said to you, “You will be loved.”

I was nocturnal for many months. Nights came and I would devour all reading materials. During day time I slept upright; the only awkward position I was comfortable with. Sometimes I would lean on papah. He made a very good reclining chair. Or maybe it was the sound of his heart beating that soothed me. So I listened to his while you listened to mine. Months later, the doctor let us listen to yours. Dukdukdukdukduk.. they sounded like horse racing. I remember thinking you have got a good heart. Good in all its semantics. Good, as in strong. Good, as in kind. Good in all sense.

These are what I remember too:

Morning sickness didn’t come.

I didn’t crave for anything.

I couldn’t stand the sight of almonds.

I was insomniac.

You see, the first four months- nothing very unusual. But one day, I started bleeding. I nearly lost you. I didn’t even know if you were a boy or girl. But I told you to be strong. I read that when babies move in the womb, it’s a lot like butterflies fluttering. That night at the hospital, it was the first time I felt you. Keduk ..keduk.. keduk..Nothing violent. That’s how you were even in my tummy. Always gentle. Always tender. Always reassuring me that you listened.

Be strong, I said. And you stayed strong.

On 30th Dec, at 36 weeks, what was supposed to be a routine checkup turned out to be a day full of anxiety. You have showed early signs of arrival. 2 days later, we were ushered into the operation room.

First, came the 3 jabs at the spine. Seconds later, I was feeling euphoric. In other words, I was high on drugs. And then tug, tug, tug. I felt like an old worn washing machine shaking violently during its last cycle. A few more tugs and Dr.Eugene held you up. You were fair..very fair, at the verge of being translucent.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Dr. Eugene asked. How peculiar! He knew and I knew you were made of XY chromosomes. I was tired, groggy. With my poor eyesight, I couldn't really see your 'thang' but I managed a feeble reply, thinking they would correct me if I were wrong. I realized though there were no cries as they quickly carried you to the pediatrician.

1,2,3,4,5 FIVE
1,2,3,4,5 FIVE

They were counting your toes and fingers, I presume. Please let him be ok, please let him be ok, that’s all I could think of. And then..

Wekwek..wek.. you started crying. Owh.. they sounded melodious. Hearing your cries unleashed mine too. However, this time they were really tears of joy.

That’s how you came to the world on 1st January 2005. While the world sympathized with the tsunami victims, we selfishly celebrated your arrival. We named you after the doctor who saved you albeit opting for a Welsh version which carries the same meaning of “being well-born.”

Today you turn four. You wanted to know what happens at four. Hmm.. I reckon you will be taller, stronger, smarter and other –ers. You went to sleep believing that you will be taller than me when you wake. What’s the hurry, my dear son?

I promised to love you on that tearful and fearful morning, remember? You must always remember; that’s all I ask of you.

Now..a song for you?

*ahem ..clears throat*

First, I was afraid, I was petrified..

(when you are old enough to read this, you should know it’s a very stylish and popular song :P)

Muahahaha. Happy birthday, Gooly.

And to you, hami new ear!


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