Smile

I have always been a smile-r. Born in the 70s, raised in the 80s, I was probably influenced by the smile song which was aired over RTM 1. Remember? The one that goes:

A smile is quite a funny thing, it lightens up your face..?

The so called MTV had montages of children and wrinkly octogenarians smiling. The kinda smiles that crept slowly and had long lasting images in your brain. I smiled so much during my younger days that one of my friend's cynical mum asked, "Chap toe kum ah?" (Did I strike gold?) Upon self-reflection, I decided to adopt a cooler personality. So I'd go to school looking moody on purpose. Instead of being perceived as the cool chick, I was however thought to be a PMS-inflicted teenager, full of angst and hatred.

Within a year, I dropped the sad, constipated mask. By year end, I was described as 'jovial' in the yearbook. So that's probably what most of the school mates will remember me by - the girl who smiled a lot despite her mouthful of braces (I hope not with Kangkung in between).

After form 6, I worked at a production house where the crew often had photography sessions when the boss wasn't around. Studio shots in B & W were a rare commodity then. Hence, Rani- the tealady, Din -the dispatcher and I, the receptionist welcome these illegal, closed-door sessions. Being eccentric, the photographers had wanted more avant-garde shots. They wanted me to look sultry. They wanted my face to reflect the tortured soul in me. If I could act the part, they would have wanted a forlorn prostitute looking out the window kinda shots. But alas, I am a SMILEY supermodel. Bring out the lights, camera and SMILE! No actions, just smile. I think the photographers gave up and threw in the remark, "Ok ok, smile.. but don't smile like a siao chabor.." *gasp* I didn't know I had looney smiles.

Despite that, I continue smiling at cameras now. I have accepted it as a chronic malady. My teeth show so much in pictures that some idiot truthful friend nicknamed me "Watermelon".

When I had a sack of potatoes as tummy, total strangers smiled a lot at me. I supposed I was a happy preggie woman. I like to believe that happiness emancipated from within then. So I smiled, and a smile made two those kinda shits .

The other day, a friend blogged that the parking lady gave her a genuine smile as she exited the parking lot cum shitty day. She felt happier after that. I don't know if my smiles were that powerful considering that according to some professionals.. erm.. you know..I look a bit 'pak chi'.

Just for conversation sake; I realise we generally don't smile to people we see everyday. Think about it.. do you smile to your hub? Your children? Weird or not if you wake up and smile at the person next to you? (excluding one night stands :P)Aiya.. don't care la. I admit I am 'pak chi' cos I smile to Gooly a lot. And I think he inherited the smiling genes. That day while I was filling up the tank, he sat inside the car and gazed out the window. His eyes caught mine and a smile spread across his face. It was a 'pleased to meet you' kinda smile. I waved back cheerily.

So, what makes you smile? Babies? Dogs? Babes? People falling into longkang? People's "longkang"? *nudge nudge gargies*

How on earth I got married Part 4

..and so the day arrived. For the boring can die dinner at the chinese restaurant. There weren't many people we invited as we had had the hawaiian-themed party weeks before. We wondered if we could skip the 3 tier champagne pouring and ugly cake cutting ceremonies. And in the end, we decided to just get it over with. You know, with the dreaded faitit- faitit feeling.

I really like my hairdo for that night though. It was a classy 'bun'. I wore a turquoise corset which Sharkira and I sewn sequins on. It was a couple of hours job. Nothing too painstaking. Not to mention, CHEAP!And then I changed into a chinese cheong sam to show off my svelte body. *evil laugh*Just because I am not putting a picture here, I can bluff. No-lah, my body was never svelte. It was less hippo-looking though :P. I just thought I wanted something China-like cos afterall, we all chinese, ain't we? The hairdo really matched the cheong sam, which has bamboos embroided. Bamboos, I think signifies long lasting marriage.

Thus nothing was red, or remotely bright. One of my aunties, much expected, commented, "Aiyoo.. why brue brue? No red red?" Come on lah, auntie.. I am not that chinese. :P As for the cheong sam, I can use it for my waitressing career. Don't waste, eh?

A week later, we had the tea ceremony. Due to some miscommunication, (yet to be) papah James and his entourage had to wait at the Mamak restaurant, all garbed handsomely in shirts and pants. Teehee. Meanwhile, friends and families fussed over the bride, who didn't do her manicure, pedicure and facials. Eeek! They nearly 'pengsan' seeing the cincai bride. But alas, with power makeup, she turned out to be Princess Mariposa. *gag gag gag* Again, I am bluffing. Chui meh?

Just like many other chinese weddings, there were games to 'kenakan' the groom before he gets the fair and lovely bride la.. Woi.. give face a bit, okeh?. Don't vomit anymore la. Anyways, there wasn't anything unusual. There were 'tai paus' and gassy drinks as breakfast for them, though they had to finish them in a record time of 2 minutes. Hoi, not my idea, okeh? I was the shy bride waiting to be absconded.

Then after stage 1, they had to go through ROUND 2; Q & A session. There were 10 questions, in which he got only 1 correct. 1/10. CERTIFIED FAILED. For example:

Q: Where was your wife born?
A: In a taxi.

Bwahahah. The shy bride nearly fell off the chair laughing. Not demure already!! But... Yehoooo! He was really what I expected to be; the original recipe ;)

And then it was SHOW ME THE MONEY part. Hehehhehe. Chum char, and get angpows!! Kaching! You could see the dollah signs in our eyes. No-lah. I am bluffing. You believe I am bluffing, right? Say yes!

In the afternoon, we boarded the plane to Alor Star. And then 'kaching', the cash register rings again. :P I left the sourcing of makeup artist to my sister in law. So, I went there, telling the hairstylist, "Simple ehsai liao". For the dinner, it was the same mantra.

And there you have it! We were married ..eh.. but not legally. Haha. Did you realise we were not registered at the registrar yet?

We actually went for the honeymoon first.. not the next day. Not the next week.. but 6 months later. Cincai or not? And then, four months later, I was *real gags* pregnant. We cleverly chose June 28th to sign the 'contract'. So it was exactly one year after he failed the Q & A ultimate quiz, that we were pronounced as Mr and Mrs Lim.

Gooly likes to ask, "Where am I?" whenever he sees pictures of our younger days. Pointing at the pictures at the registrar office, I can now say truthfully, "You were in Mahmee's tummy."

:) Merry Christmas, everyone!

How on earth I got married Part 3

Dumm dee dumm.. where were we? Ah yes.. "value for money wedding album"(read comments on previous post), according to Papah James who wouldn't read my blog even if paid, but miraculously stumbled upon it when the topic is related to him. Spooky? *X-files music*. ESP? *Twilight Zone music* Serendipity? *Whatever love-soundtrack music*

Anyways, in May, I (not 'we'..you should know I am the decision maker by now :P) planned a Hawaiian-theme party. We I found this nice al-fresco restaurant at Mount Kiara, and threw a dinner, strictly for friends. It turned out the restaurant was to be closed down the very next day after our party. So 'hoe yee tau', eh? But it being the last night for the manager and chef and other staff, they were very accommodating. It was a party for them as well. We had roast lamb and.. err.. help me with this, will ya, papah? :p

I had wanted a crazy frizzy hairdo for that dinner. What seemed so plausible then, seems idiotic in retrospect. I had an orchid in my hair somewhere, can you imagine? My corset was pink, my satin skirt was too tight. Papah wore a reddish Hawaiian shirt - something he wouldn't be caught dead in now. Friends turned up in colourful summer dresses or sarongs. As favors, they got orchids which some put on wrists as corsages, others pin it in their hair. The guys.. erm.. arr.. ah.. let's just say there were no alkie left after the party.

I remember vaguely a fraction of the night where Papah James was asked to give an impromptu speech. How could it be impromptu? He ought to have written his own personal vows, and declaration of love, right? But he was not an ordinary groom. He did everything with style.. His speech began with:

"Wa gian nit tzin hua hi..." (Hokkien: Today I am very happy)

Cheers erupted amidst his hooligan friends. I think I kinda stared at him disbelievingly. And then, white noise. 5 years later, that's all I remember of his 'ceramah' - wa gian nit tzin hua hi..

Out of the blue, someone suggested a game. I rolled my eyes, they didn't care. It was one of those Q & A session, where they interrogated us separately. We had the the exact same answers, which didn't qualify us for the MOST COMPATIBLE COUPLE because.. we were just too weird! I don't remember all the questions asked, but one of it was:

Who says sorry first whenever there is an argument/fight?

Our answer: No one.

I think there was an awkward 5 seconds silence. Haha! I could almost hear the prediction of "DIVORCE" in the air. But hey, lookie lookie... 5 years, no one says sorry and we are still pronounced as Mr and Mrs Lim! :P And there will be more years to come.

Papah James, 'gian nit hua hi boe?" Miss you too..:)

How on earth I got married Part 2

After I graduated, I balik kampung to KL. And he follow suit.

Between 1999 and 2002, nothing much happened. That's why sometimes I have to forgive him for his failing memory cos I do suffer the effects of gingko deficiency too. :P

Then one fine day, this conversation took place:


Me: Eh, want to get married ah?
Him: Need meh?
Me: Need laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

And he called his mom and mumbled something about a knife at his neck and marriage. -_-

I began making lil notes in a lil booklet about the one-year ahead plan, until he discovered it, and started to sabotage it by making silly comments like "NO MONEY" under my pathetic drawing of a tube gown. Flipping through the pages now, I realised he called me DING DONG a lot last time.

We went to Poh Kong and bought a diamond ring. He had to china-fied it by buying Magnum with the receipt number. But good thing was, we kena lottery! Woohoo! He offered to use the easy-earned (how often can we say that??) money for a bigger diamond. I declined and still hitting my head against the wall today.

The next thing to do was to decide on the date. Picking a weekend that coincides with a celebration (my birthday, his birthday or Christmas) would be one less date to remember. But marriage is never about convenience, is it? Darn! And so we had to pay a visit to the infamous Loh Tit 8. In less than 5 minutes, we got the dates along with some do's and dont's which we didn't intend to follow, and hey presto, we were Rm100 poorer.

Being the ever independent and weird bride to be, I went to bridal shops with a girl friend, instead of him. Seriously, would a guy be interested in deciding the gown for his bride? I didn't care if he did. Thank God he couldn't care less cos I'd surely stab him with the stilettos if he were the type to say, "Too fat, too short, too long, too pouffy, too revealing." There is a time and place to be opinionated, agree?

While we looked like odd lesbo partners (my friend and I), we didn't care. I tried on gaudy gowns but being pear-shaped, only tube gowns with can-can bottoms suited me. And I totally detested the idea of VVIP gown selection with additional charge. I didn't care if the package came with a 3 ft by 3ft poster because, helloh! 3 years down the road, I will vomit looking at myself with the hideous hair-do and make up. And guess what? I didnt have to wait that long to hate the look on MY wedding poster (which I cleverly decided not to post here. Haha!)

Anyways, I remember clearly about a photo album on display at one of the bridal shops. The bride's armpit stubbles were visible. My oh my... I thought digital enhancement was possible.

Come to think of it, I don't know why I bothered with the studio shots. I knew my smiles will look fake, my pose stiff, my face..fat. Hmm.. for fun, I guess. And it was pretty fun actually. We had a nice photographer who obliged our requests of:
a. just white backdrops
b.no kissing shots
c. no dreamy-i-am-so-in -love shots

In return, I compromised with the hairdos. The 3 storey-high hairdo was removed to a much subtle looking one after a few shots. I didnt want the kimono, spanish, korean costumes because I am a Chinese. I didn't want to do an outdoor shot because of the weather.

Hence, instead of "I WANT I WANT I WANT" the studio was pleased for once with the odd "KEEP IT SIMPLE" couple. A few weeks later, we went to collect the album. As expected, I looked like my mom. A photocopy version..

Today the dusty poster hung over the bed. Gooly asked if the bride was me. And I just had to test him: "Pretty or not?"

"Just a little bit.."


Char toe...........

Part 3 tomorrow..

How on earth I got married Part 1

It's not our anniversary.. it's not valentines. I am just feeling a bit 'hiao' and want to reminisce, can or not?

It's gonna be a rather long post, but no worries.. Gag-free guaranteed cos our wedding should be the most 'cincai' you have ever attended or heard. All in all there were 5 ceremonies. During the last dinner at Alor Star, we were so bored, and my SIL was right when she said, "Your wedding is like never-ending." So you see, it's all about QUANTITY, not quality. It all began.... *time machine clicks and beeps*

Circa 1998.. We were in Penang, me studying and him, just got back from the States and working as an engineer. I like to say we met when my bra dropped from my 13th floor balcony to his 9th. Upon seeing the DDD cups, he decided to ask me out. Alas, this is not a booby tale. Instead, it was so normal and boring the way we met; through a mutual friend. *Yawn yawn* It was at the chinese kopitiam and I was walloping a 'taipau'. He thought I was snobbish (what rubbish!) and the feeling was mutual. The second time we met, it was at the same restaurant and same 'taipau' for lunch. Deja vu. But this time round he made a comment which went something like:

"Shaddap la.. Eat your 'taipau' la.."

Haha.. I am sure he didn't but I'd like to accuse that he did cos that's the way he talks to me now. Anyways, I thought he was less 'lansi' and thus begin the journey of courtship. He will tell you that I courted him. He is amnesiac and a fool, that's all I can say.

A few months later, we were at the beach. He was wearing a stripy Reebok tee which I dubbed "the bumblebee". It wasn't even black and yellow. See how mysterious my brain works? I was clad in a black blouse which btw doesn't fit anymore. The jeans too of course. He dug a hole in the sand and buried my foot next to his. I asked, "Eh, you like me ah?" and he said, "Duh.. apuden." (haha.. again.. something to that effect la).

Sorry to have disappointed you. The setting was pretty romantic but there were no fools. Only two people wasting no time in guessing games or 'hard to get' nonsense. We say, "Jump on into the l.o.v.e wagon if the feelings are right, babeh!"

Of course I had to warn him.. "I am very manja one, you know.." And he said, "I let you manja lorr". That has to be the most romantic promise he made, which I need to remind him every now and then. But then he will fake the worst case of amnesia whenever I mention this. Which is worse: faking a chronic illness or saying," Eat the synonym of dung la!"?

Hmm...

Part 2 later..

My Auto-Shut-Off mode

Tears.. cries.. whines.. These three elements are my auto-shut-off mode. The moment I hear them, my brain goes TIT just like the computer which keyboard has been pressed Ctrl + Alt+Del. Meanwhile, Gooly is such a hampao.

Sei moe?

So the past weeks have been torturous, for both him and me. He cried, and I refused to listen and give in, eventhough, or should I say, ESPECIALLY for small stuff. Just like the other day, he left his toy in his kaimai's car. Instead of asking for it, he started crying first. Instead of just getting it for him, I let him wail. So ended up, he had a bad day, and so did I!

And the story I was too shy to publish yesterday (:P). It was like this:

My sis bought a Christmas pressie for Gooly's cousin. Gooly has chosen his 'berching and shering' sound effects sword. But the moment he saw the other box, he took it under his arm and proclaimed as his. When my sis said it wasn't for him, guess what he did? Neh, paling pandai one? Cry la! What else?

Woi! This mahmee cannot stand such nonsense. So I dragged him into the room, with his cries of "Yee yee! Yee yee! Ah maaaa!" throughout the neighbourhood.

"IS this yours?" I asked.

"I don't want to answer, mama!"

Woi! I could feel my nostrils flaring, I tell ya. And he went on like a Bollywood actor, "Yee yee. I want Yee yee!" Obviously he thought Yee Yee would come to his rescue. For that, I have already planned ahead and locked the room. *evil grin*

After I calmed him down by holding him tightly, I explained about being greedy and other boring stuff. He got it, and returned the box.

Haiz! Most of the time, people say "it ended with tears." But for his case, it's always "starts off with tears." Grrr...

But after much self-reflection on the mirror (I admit, I am a bit of Narcissus), I should be more patient with him. At least let him cry two minutes, eh?

Anyone knows how to re-programme my internal software? Make it more tolerant towards Gooly's cries la..

My beloved nephews

They were here since yesterday as their parents went to PD for a getaway. We lined up a string of activities to keep them occupied. Everything we did, there would be something in thier mannerism that impress me. I shouldn't be too surprised as they have been the most angelic kids I have ever seen; very mild temperament. Their mom has often chided, "Like dinosaurs, extinct already!!"


Monopoly
First we played the bored board game. The youngest got to roll first, meaning Gooly. I didn't even have to suggest. The set back of the game was that I couldn't remember what I have purchased, but the kids were honest enough to cough up the mortagage when they landed on my property (they have much better memory). But what I couldn't understand was that they would insist on paying more even though they have the exact change, because with more notes, it gave them the impression that they were indeed richer. So a very simple fine of $120 could end up being very complicated as follows:
a. they gave me $150
b. I returned $50
c. they gave me back $30
d. I returned $... err.. whatever they demanded

Haha.. they probably know my math sucks. Meanwhile, Gooly hung on tight to his cash, refused to buy any train station or property. Aiyer.. no fun one.

Christmas Shopping
And then we headed out to the cheap toy store so that everyone gets to pick a RM10 pressie. No fuss at all. They put back the RM11 toy because rule is rule; no more than RM10.

Lunch
"What do you want for lunch?"
"Anything.."
"Pizza or KFC?"
"Too expensive la. Eat something cheaper la.."

Can? From a 9 year old?

The next day, we went to the Titiwangsa Park. The two boys fought in the car. Bwahahaha. I mean, they are perfectly normal. 90% angel, and then some devilish actions. The creme de la creme of the outing was having one of the boys teaching us the acronym of F.U.C .. you know the last letter.

Father Understands Chinese Kungfu, he told us.

Oh well, if they had not been naughty at times, I would wonder if they were programmed like robots. But still, I think my bro and sis-in-law had raised them well. Ting kwa kwa!

Now.. I had omitted earlier the part where Gooly took another cousin's toy and proclaimed as his. Haiya.. when the other boys were so well-behaved, my Gooly like that. Shy-nyer.... Tomorrow only story laa.

Ben 10 Mania

Today I will help you to do some eye exercises. Neh, the kind where you roll your eyes around and around, because I am gonna gush about my boy. You have been forewarned. Do not proceed if you are already cock-eyed :P

***

Approximately a year ago, Gooly has this fascination over Ben 10. I didn't get it. I still don't get it. Ben can turn into ten hideous looking aliens. He does that using the Omnitrix - a hideous gargantuan watch which doesn't tell the time. Cartoons are supposed to be funny and cute. Ben 10 is neither.

(One of the alien dudes. Ugly or not?)

And thus, I didn't give in when he wanted the Omnitrix because it's about Rm100. Now, even my atrocious mental-arithmetic can tell me that I could buy 10 pasar malam spidey watches which tell the time with that amount of money.

Until.. one fine day, when he was exceptionally good, and I was in a jolly good mood, I decided to surprise him ..

...with a ciplak pasar malam version of the Omnitrix which cost a tiny fraction of the original version. He ripped open the box gleefully. His smile was priceless. He put it on his wrist, and then..

"How come there is no light? And no sound?"

"Aiya.. it doesn't matter la.. You can still play with it." (hiak hiak hiak.. I am such a kiamsiap mama)

He was willing to accept it. And so he played with it for almost 8 months, making his own sound effects. Another not so fine day, he lost it while playing at Yoyoland. He was visibly upset, but he has to learn how to take care of his own things. Thus, he went watchless for a few months, admiring his friends' from afar, and hoping that he will get one for Christmas. The original pricey one, mind you..

Now that we are back here, it seems like every Tom, Tim and Tam own the stewpid watch. And he hoped for it even more. He salivates over it.. dreams about it.. craves for it. And upon hearing the above story chronologically, my ah bu decided she would buy him that for Christmas. For someone who is so thrifty that she eats lefover food all the time, she must love him very much to part with that amount of moolah.

Alas, the watch is not available! We went nearly 5 malls, but couldn't find it! Sei lor.. Luckily Gooly is easily appeased.

"There are many more days to Christmas. We just gotta keep looking." He nodded. Meanwhile, he couldn't buy anything else because Ben 10 watch is really expensive, and we are saving money for that.

It has been the same routine the past 2 weeks. We'd go to the toys department, and hunt for the watch. Along the way, he checks out other toys, sometimes tempted to change his mind. Just like yesterday, he held the Transformer bazooka and pulled the trigger.

"Zek zek zek... Autobots transform and roll out!" came the robotic sound.

Woahhh... you should see the gleam in his eyes! He thought about it for awhile, and asked timidly, "Is this expensive, mama?"

"Oh yes.. it's very expensive. It's Rm99.90. Almost a hundred ringgit."

"Can you help me put it back?" Aw...... If I were a millionaire, I would have bought it for him! But I am not, you see? I don't even have a million hair.. (lame but couldn't help it :P )

I reminded him again of the Ben 10 watch that he was gonna get. Oh man.. by then I was really worried that it's out of stock nationwide. So I asked if he wanted something else, just in case we can't find it. He looked around and chose a pistol. Rm16.90. "Is that cheap, mama?"

"Yes, sayang. But we are gonna wrap it up and you can only open it on Christmas. And it also means no more Ben 10 watch, you understand?"

He nodded and jumped with joy when the 'kakak' wrapped it up nicely. To anyone who would listen, he chanted, "It's my Christmas present. Christmas is December. Is it December now?" I know I will have to bear with that for another 18 more days or so. But I think the anticipation and excitement will make a mere RM16.90 toy more special.

The package is all wrinkly now because he slept with it, and carried it under his armpit everywhere. That package is really a contingency plan. I am really hoping to find the Omnitrix for him. If he had smiled like he found gold when he received the 'chapalang' one, imagine what his face would be like if he got the one that emits sounds. Must get ready the video camera. :)

Ah.. at the same time, I want to send the message about "things don't go your way all the time." If we can't find it, Gooly.. it's not the end of the world. There are a million other toys which will make mahmee go 'pokai' too.

You know, the moment he said, " Put it back for me, please," I had really wanted to grab the bazooka to the counter and put in Ben 10, Transformers, Spongebob, Elmo, etc. gadgets to pile as a hamper. Is he using 'reverse psychology'? Luckily I am not related to Mittal, Gates or Hilton.

Luckily or unluckily? It's a rhetorical question. :)

.....

Here.. your eye balls. They rolled out of the sockets just now. :P

A loud 'thud'

Though my Math sucks, I know how to do an estimation. Say for example, out of the ten times that Gooly's cousin visits:
a. 9/10 - some one will cry
b. 7/10 - some one will get hurt (verbally or physically)
c. 8/10 - some one will 'merajuk'
d. 10/10 - some one will get bashed up some serious scoldings

So, it's all very 'normal' at the house. But yesterday was a bit more than I could handle because a,b,c,d hamparang happened. Being the brute that he is, Gooly's cousin kicked him off the bed and I heard a loud 'thud' to be proceeded by an even louder 'waaaaaaa'.

Ouch, it must have hurt, because I was in the living room, and the 'thud' was emitted from the room, about 200m away.

Now, I am quite a cool person meaning I don't latah easily. (If Papah emergency-braked the truck, I don't scream or go, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT PIG CROSSING THE ROAD!". I don't know how I remain composed. And I often wonder if I could actually scream if I were mugged. Choy! Choy!)

And so, the first I did was to hold Gooly, and checked his cranium. Sayang-sayang, and asked what happened.

Gooly's version - Korkor kicked me and I fell. My head is painful.
Korkor's version - He want two balls. And then the room was very hot.

Obviously, the latter's version is by means a 'tukar topik' attempt. I know kids play rough, and accidents happen, so I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. So I made an impromtu speech on safety and playing safe, which the two participants nodded and I pressume, understood.

However, after I collected my thoughts (while munching down some 'tauyubak'), I decided not to let the boy off the hook so easily. I do worry that he will be as rough at school and get into some trouble. Hence:

1. do I tell his parents? (No matter how I phrase it, it will seem like a complaint, wouldn't it?)
2. do I ask Gooly to tell his parents? (No matter how he phrases it, it will seem like he is a tatter-tale, wouldn't it?)

And then TING! The light bulb lit. I told the boy to tell it himself. This is a chance for him to own up his wrong doings. And also to let the parents know his behavior. And lastly, to teach Gooly about forgiveness; that all must be forgotten once the bruises healed.

And the most important lesson I reiterated before we went to sleep: DO NOT DO WHAT KORKOR DID BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT HURTS.

Aiyer... I hope he gets it. Kecut wei....

Post Mortem Part 2

We literally braved thru the MADDENING crowd at Mid Valley yesterday. Ah.. the living-in-bubbles fellow Malaysians who shop till their heads/feet/hearts/kidney drop. Heck, maybe I am the only poor gal, eh? Poor, envious and malicious. Standing at the corner, without any shopping bags, I shouted at the crowd, "You fools, wake up.. we are all gonna die poor!" And to the high-heeled clickety-clack girl laden with Christmas loots, I gave her a scathing glance and mouthed the word, "Ignoramus!"

Sounds like a high-strung chica, eh? Who wouldn't be with the humid weather, traffic jams, pushy crowds and my empty wallet? And so there I was, sitting at the cheapest kopitiam sipping my rm2.90 (too expensive for my taste) coffee, I enacted the above scene and chuckled to myself. Maniacally..

It hasn't been that long being away, but I have forgotten how week-enders in shopping malls look like. Ah.. yes.. It has been long, considering that I have stopped going to the malls 4/5 years back due to work commitment, mahmee duties, and boring over-priced merchandise. So while I manoeuvred through the unnecessary breast-crushing crowd, I have decided, "I don't like it." It will be a matter of a coupla more encounters to advance to "I TOTALLY #&(@&# DESPISE IT", I am sure. Gimme a few more weeks. ;)

Is it me, or KL is getting too small? Have I grown that wide? Am I an undiscovered claustrophobic? My almost obsolete left hand resting on my chin (it should be chin-less for my case) with soulfoul, I mean soulful eyes, I declare, "I need space..."

*** 5 minutes later**

Oh! It stems from home.. I am sharing a home now with other family members. Ah.. that's why. The 'mangchangness', the suffocation, the need to tongue-lash somebody. It all explains.

Ha! My first 'useful' blog! It has enlightened my inner-self, almost a self-discovery journey. Now what next?

Nothing... I will just die poor, as I have forecasted of others earlier.

Do you have a room for a neurotic, claustrophobic, poor mother who shoots words like 'ignoramus, imbecile, bodoh" occasionally? She comes in a package with a verbal-diarrhea boy.

Hoe sum leh..
Fook sum leh..
Hor lin ngo li gor mang ngan loe...

NO? Whadaya mean? You can't find anyone more truthful, wokeh? Summore can sing wei..

My first RANT!

Have I mentioned that the utmost joy in motherhood in Bangkok is that there is no interference from any patt pohs parties?

Yes, there are ideas, suggestions and advice, but nothing unwelcome. Nothing of such:

a. why isn't he speaking Chinese?
b. why is he so manja?
c. you have spoilt him

If they came from my mother, I could still accept albeit would feel a bit boh song. If from my MIL, same sentiment. But from somebody whom I rarely spoke to for the last 10 years, DENG HUI!

Seriously, who gives her the liberty to assume, presume, guess, criticise and question my parenting style? And the fact that SHE has made Gooly cried for her poor verbal skills, she was not bashful. Instead, she blamed it on Gooly who after all is not yet 4, and thus carries the licence to cry.

#)@*$)@_!

Ok, so Gooly is a hampao. So what? What about the fact that he is polite, and sweet and gentle? Yes, he is very talkative, but only I can complain because I am his mother!

*stands one corner and pouts* Now who wants to come sayang me? Err.. I mean Gooly :P

Post Mortem..

Choy!

Tee hee.. I meant a small report on my arrival in KL. Nothing much had happened. The major thing would be the acute vomiting I got on the first day I arrived. Blek! No more Ming Tien Ipoh Hor Fun. No FUN at all!

Other than that.. nothing much. Have been unpacking, 8-ing with sis and mum.. while Gooly has his fair share of chatting with his unwilling audience.

With so many people in the house, naturally we spent less time together; Gooly and I. Yesterday being the 3rd night in KL, I tucked him in on his single bed, and I climbed onto mine, feeling lethargic. A few minutes passed, and I felt something heavy on my chest.

It was him. He had smuggled onto my bed and laid his big smelly sweaty head on my chest, with his arms wrapped around my barrel waist.

"Hoi, go back to your bed," was my first reaction.

He wouldn't budge. And it struck me that we spent so much time together before that now, despite the loads of fun and banters he has with other people, he is in fact missing me. So I just let him be. Within seconds, he fell asleep.

No matter where he may be, or who he plays with, at the end of the day, it's still Mahmee that he needs, eh?

It's comforting to know that. :)

Kit Terng

Today I learned a new Thai word - kit terng.

*****

I am not good with goodbyes and farewells. If I could, I would sneak through the back door and get into my awaiting sleek black limo at the back soi. It's cowardice and ill-mannered, I know. So I didn't do it.

Instead, I procrastinated till the very last 18 hours. I went for my last pedicure at auntie's house and announced my flight tomorrow. We are heading back to KL, and when we come back next, it will be to a new home. (Sorry for not saying earlier, as it was, as usual very last minute and also I was busy packing. Thus, fellow KLites, bring out the red carpet :D)

Auntie was very shocked, of course. And repeatedly said, "Kit terng..." I gave her a blank look, indicating that I don't understand. She launched one of her monologues again, and all I could do was smile. Another neighbour came, and on my behalf, the auntie announced my departure.

"Kit terng.." There it was again. Same words uttered by another person. I was beginning to wonder if I owed them money. :P

Sensing that I couldn't understand, they both pressed their palms on their hearts. And smiled. And said again, "kit terng..". Yes, I put my hand on my chest and said, "Me too. The heart is heavy." In chinese, it's "ng seah tak"?

When my nails were done, auntie said she wouldn't charge me. Knowing my Thai sucks, she used actions to convey her message. She put her two hands on her heart and then proceeded to press my feet together. It was a form of hug, I think which she was too embarrassed to give. I could only reciprocate with a smile, and a shy 'wai'.

I hurried home to bring out the camera. I am sure the pictures will tell you the beautiful people I have befriended here, despite my monosyllabic Thai.







My pretty pink toes, courtesy of Meh Nong Mai (Lil' Mai's mom, literally).

Kit terng, indeed. I will miss you guys too. Sawadeeka, kapkunka..

A parting note..

It's semi official. We are moving, nearer to town. I have void the sentiments earlier, but now I cannot escape. As I packed rubbish and junks into boxes, a tinge of sadness swept over me. Yes, the fact that I only have rubbish and junks saddens me. That, but more importantly, I have grown to love my house, my neighbours, the kids, the handsome ala James Dean grass-cutter and the not so handsome but polite guards.

As I rummaged through the drawers, I found unsent letters to Mc Egg and Tracy. I have written them when I first moved in during the era of non-wireless. I have ranted that I hated this place. Maybe I meant Bangkok, not the house. I am not so sure because as I sit and ruminate about it now, I can't seem to locate any bad memories of this mooban.

This is what I remember:
a. Gooly was still a baby when we first moved in. He didn't walk till months later. And so the neighbours would prompt him to walk, suggesting that we train him at grassy areas lest that he falls and bruises himself.

b. My neighbour wasn't very friendly during the first few months. She was probably 'shy' with the fact that she doesn't speak English. Thus, she avoided eye contact for some period of time. The way she treats us now is the total opposite. Lots of smiles and food and help.

c. The park is always bustling with activities in the evenings. Kids cycle around and around. A guard is stationed to watch after the traffic. Not that it's needed because most cars are driven at tortoise speed anyways.

d. Moms cycle around and around, with happy smiling babies and toddlers at the front booster seat. Gring gring, they like to ring their arrivals and departures. I always wave, and they always 'blek' me with their tongues.

e."Champ" was 15 when we moved in. He was the most handsome lad at the mooban. Now he is 18, and still reigns the title (according to hamsup me la.:P)

Limosine, whose fate remains unknown.

f. We had Limo the dog for a few days. We adopted it after sighting it in a rumah papan under the bridge. It was a 'chapalang' local dog who understood English. We returned him to his owner because Gooly was allergic to it, and also the bitch mother kept coming to our house to kacau. It was painful to witness a mother and son separation crisis.

g. Nong Mai, Nong Fern, Nong Bert, Nong Nit, Nong Prem are the few kids who rock the park. They made Gooly cry, but also made him happy.

h. The silent girl who shares her snack but never utters a word in our 3 years tenure here. I can't help but wonder if she will grow up to be ok.

Sigh.. there are more momentos that I can write, but I shan't. The heart seems to sink a notch lower with every word I type.

Good bye, Mooban Prinyada. You have been a good home. Wherever we shall roam next, we hope it will be as nice and warm and clean and .... a place we can call home too.

Whose fault?

Scene 1

Gooly: Mahmee, I want to eat Kokocrunch with milk.

Mahmee: Sorry, we ran out of Kokocrunch. You want an egg instead?

Gooly: Oh okay... tomorrow we buy some more Kokocrunch.

Life in Fairy Tale land. Almost non-existent.

****VS.****

Scene 2

Gooly: Mahmee, I want Kokocrunch with milk.

Mahmee: No more Kokocrunch.

Gooly: I want......................

There are two possible endings which entail the above.

****

Scene 3

Gooly: I want Kokocrunch with milk.

Mahmee: No more already. You ate it all yesterday.

Gooly: But I really want it... *starts sobbing*

Mahmee: Don't cry.. I promise I buy more afterward, ok?

Gooly: Okay.

*looking smug* A quality-controlled morning. ISO approved, if I may said so myself. But unfortunately, Mahmee grows horns and a tail on selected days of the month, which brings us the following scene.

********

Scene 4

You know what he wants. You know there are only eggs in the pantry. You know he will start bawling because he needs his sugar fix. And Mahmee has 101 retorts. To quote a few:

"You can cry and Kokocrunch won't magically appear."
"Eggs? Or you go hungry.."
"Let me know if you are still hungry after you finished crying."

There are two ways to start off the mornings. Good vs. bad. There are 2 subjects (me and him) and 2 variables (good mood/behavior and bad mood/behavior).

Everyone is happy at Scene 1, including the neighbors because we spare them the high decibel of unnecessary noises. It does happen, albeit not so often as it should be.

Scene 2 is very common. When I have enough Evening Primrose, all's well ends well. And thus Scene 3. He eats the damn eggs.

Scene 4, much to my chagrin, is also fairly often. Got dadah inside ah? Why must he insist on Kokocrunch?

I can't help but wonder, am I a sarcastic parent with minimal patience? Almost all the parents I see here are the 'sayang' cajoling type. You-want-Kokocrunch-you-get-Kokocrunh type of parent.

But.. but ...but.. the kid has a role to play too rite. Look at scene 1. If he is co-operative, then nobody gets hurt. Everyone walks away happy with eggs in their tummys. Ronald Mcdonald would have been proud of us.

Doh! I forgot.. these are kids. Not angels!... Ok ok. So the solution is? Haiz... *popping more Evening Primrose*

Still! The kids should be held responsible for bad mornings too! And also all the other bad episodes! What say you?

Small talks

"Haiya, this shirt is getting small.." I said while buttoning up his pajamas.

"No, it's not," he retorted.

Too tired to argue, I just looked at him, with one eyebrow raised.

"Shirts don't get smaller, you silly mama. I grew big..."

Ohhhhhh... but I wouldn't say that when I don't fit into my skinny jeans. I'd say, "This jeans doesn't fit anymore.." rather than "I don't fit into this." That way, I get to blame the jeans. It's the jeans fault that I don't fit into it anymore.

Gooly, listen to me! The jeans doesn't fit me. Not, "I grew big/fat", wokeh?

*****

"You know, I still have power inside me. I want to colour first," there was an announcement at 9 pm yesterday. By that, the announcer meant he was not sleepy. It has been more than 12 hours since he awoken. He sure has a lot of power/energy from I-don't-know-where.

Realising that I have to go with the flow, I suggested that he 're-charge his power' because helloh! It has been more than half a day that he jumped, bruised, ran and motor-mouthed! Hit the sack, bugger!

He climbed onto his bed and said, "I was only joking." Since when he started telling jokes? So I asked for clarifications.

"I got no more power. "*Yawn* and just like dat, he fell into a deep sleep. This is what I call maxing out his energy..power..whatever.

When I was young, I was also bursting with energy. Now.. err.. ah... oh... g'nite! Enuff said.

A Park, A Fall

Inspired by EW, we went in search for a park to loiter. And after worm-and-cricket buying (for Papah's other fishy children)at the Jatujak market, we went across to the park which we often ignore. I must say, we were quite impressed with the cleanliness.


I like the shape of these wrought-iron, obviously inspired by lovely butterflies.


This is what I do when I go abroad for holidays. Lepak at parks.. cos it's free! And the kids (mine and my girls') can go on a wild rampage and no one would care. Remember St. James, Regent's Park, Hyde Park in London, Mc Egg Che-Che? We walked for miles despite the rain, didn't we? Ah.. if only the weather here permits such activities. That is why the parks here and in KL are sadly deserted because who in the right mind would go under the scorching heat JUST FOR FUN? Do you like the parks? Or you will die of boredome chasing after ducks, birds and geese? Or you hate them cos they always poo on your head, Gargies? :P


What's an outing without an adventure and drama? And so we had to end it with tears. Gooly's.. Aiyayaya, 'anak jatuh longkang wei'. Well, not really a longkang la, but he did jatuh, bump his bum and head. See how he was aptly dressed? The monkey is taunting and mocking his fall. Ouch!

Hence, on Saturday we went to a park, and came back with a 'bungarow'. Next week, I am hoping to strike the lottery. D

Black Mourning Saturday

We were at the market this afternoon, amongst a crowd of black attired locals. Thais are mourning the death of the Royal Princess, who passed away early this year and today is her funeral. Yeap, she has been preserved in a good condition (I presume) for the past 10 months or so.

I am watching the royal funeral LIVE as I am blogging about this. It was reported that more than a hundred thousand commoners have thronged the Sanam Luang to pay last respect to the deceased princess. Of course, they queued for hours, just to give the respected 'wai' to the princess and to place the specially made sandlewood flowers at the altar as a form of ritual.

The cremation facilities are said to cost 200 million baht, in which they will burn the whole structure after a month. That's a lot of money to burn, eh?

Do you remember Princess Diana's funeral? It was very heart wrenching. I remember very well the part Prince Harry placed a rose with the words, "For Mummy" on the coffin. And the sound of church bell tolling as the procession start echoed in my head for days. Yeah, I am the kind who cry buckets whenever whoever kick the bucket. (sorry for the pun)

Having said that, I have witnessed a couple of royal deaths back home on TV. Besides the hope for a public holiday, I must frankly say, I have felt apathetic towards these royal burials. Don't mean to be disrespectful, but err.. who were they?

Back to this afternoon's procession for the princess.. I observe that it was very somber, but elegantly done. The Thais have bid her farewell, and sent her off to nirvana grandly. RIP, Princess Galyani Vadhana.



Ok, now..When I die, my funeral will be..........choy! Ptui ptui ptui! (Ok, I whisper soft soft - I want a cello solo and Amazing Grace to be sung.. and also Puff Diddy's 'I See You When You Get There' :P)

Haiz.. so morbid. Tomorrow I will write something happier la!

Loy loy kratong!

Today is Loy Kratong. Days earlier, we were informed that there was gonna be a pool party organised by the management. Every time we were at the park, we were reminded to make ourselves available.

"Remember to come, ok?"

"Tomorrow got partay, ok?"

"Loy kratong tomorrow, ok?"

Oh boy! We were looking forward to this event. Tick tock tick tock.. Gooly even took a nap so he could sustain till later.

Look at the rows of KRATONGs made by the housewives at the mooban. (Me not included. They probably think I am too busy to help. Tee hee..)



Each house is entitled to one kratong. They made a platform just outside the canal so we could 'loy' (float?) it. But first comes food. :)


There were loads of mum-mum! All cooked, again by the housewives, and again me excluded as.. (help! No more excuses here!) It's so nice to see such 'muhibah' spirit. As a metropolitan chica, I have heard but never participated in any of such activities. I should have stayed back to wash the dishes. Next time.. there is always a next time. ;)

And then the highlight of the night! Floating the kratongs!



We were led to the canal by a group of boys. They were all very friendly and helpful, offering to light the candle for Gooly. One of the boys held Gooly's hand, took charge and floated the kratong. He muttered a prayer. I don't know for himself or for us! Ha! But Gooly did feel somewhat cheated that he did not let go of the kratong himself. Ah well..

All in all, we had a jolly good time. The people were generous, friendly and oh so muhibah. We *heart* these folks and their kids. This is one great memory of Bangkok. Look at the kids. They were so eager to have their pics taken. And they wanted me in the pics. Aww.. so sweet.



How did the rest of you in Bangkok celebrate?

MY HAIR

I cut my hair. Short. Very short. :D

When a girl is bored, it gets dangerous, agree? When a girl is bored, and has not much money, it's the worst combo you can imagine.

So I went to the auntie's house for a cheap hair fix. Neh.. where Gooly cuts his. So daring can die right? I went there, clueless about the next hairdo. So I told her," Nitnoi.. just a little snip." Then came Miss A, her neighbour who is quite chic looking. She offered a few magazines so I could choose the hairstyles. Woh.. nice wor. And we both agreed on a very chic bob style.

"Dai mai?" I asked auntie, pointing at a very cool model posing with a Balenciaga bag.

DAI! CAN! She was very confident.

The spunky neighbour put the opened mag in front of her. My *ahem* hairstylist stole glances at it, and kept saying, "Ma mi pan hah!" Our version is 'MO MAN TAI' la. Hehehheeh. I knew then SURE DIE!

But being ever adventurous when it comes to hairstyles, I just went ahead with it. That's me. I fret not about hair. They grow.. Hence, I have sported long, frizzy, airfro, china doll, ah soh, butch hairstyles in my life. I have dyed pink and purple before (strips only la). And very frankly, they don't get much approval from friends. Sometimes they say, "OMG! You stress ah?" At worst, they holler, "Ya All*h. What happened to your hair?" And I'd always play along. "Not nice meh? " or "You don't know fashion one laah!"

So what is the latest? Let me prepare you first hoh. Papah James said I look like a kid.

A freaking 5 year old kid. How weird is that? And he had to add, "Like going to kindergarten." Tsk tsk tsk..*shakes head*

Nah.. give you plastic bag, in case you want to vomit. :P

*


*

Anjua? Sui niap niap boe? :P

Do I hate it? Do I like it? I am apathetic actually. There.. weird fact no. 30459. I don't cry over hairy stories. BTW, as expected, it doesn't look like the pic we showed her.

Auntie, nei hoe yeh...

Cm -Stones

You know how some parents like to chart milestones of their bubbas? When they first spoke, when they first walked.. yada yada yada?

I am one of them, not because I am superbly proud (seriously, every child talks and walks, it's just a matter of time) but because I am amnesiac. To me, the biggest milestone is when Gooly can wipe his own arse. Vulgar it may sound, but that is the day I will proclaim, "My son has grown..sob! sob! He can wipe his own shiats! I'm proud of you!!"

OK, confession. Weird fact no. 3293 - I pay attention to little advancement too. I will call it cm-stone. Milestone is when he overcome his fear of spicy food. Cm-stone is like... when he pours himself a glass of water... by himself!

He did that just now! Instead of asking for water, and I had to stop whatever I am doing to liquid-fy him, he took a a stool, climbed on it, poured the water, spilled a little, drank it, and exclaimed, "Ahhhh! Nice!" Yippeee! I am off the hook! I am no longer the water server!

While at Eagle Wing's house some time back, I couldn't help but noticed how mature Joel was. He closed the door and pulled in the trampoline prior to leaving the house. You know, like the little man of the house who takes care of stuff? And there was one time I read how Ethaniel packed his own bag for a sleep over. Aiyor, when can Gooly do that?

I am not kiasu, wokeh. I am lazy. Who else is guilty? Na na na.. admit it la. Come, hop into my boat. (Please.. please ..please?)

A conversation in my brain

On Messenger yesterday:

Me: What time you will be done?
Him: In 10 minutes

45 minutes later, he was still not here. I called but there was no answer. Finally when he picked up the 100th call, he muttered, "Ok ok , coming now!"

His coming now was another 10 minutes.

Gerrrrram or not? We were supposed to meet a friend in town for lunch. So in the car, I was in a fouled mood. While I have decided to launch a cold war, I had this imaginary conversation in my head:

Me: Why you say 10 minutes, now only come? *@)#*$)
Him: What you want me to do? Office so many things to do!
Me: Yalah - yalah! Always a lot of things to do. Next time just say you can't make it. I will go myself!
Him: Why you so angry? I tried to come as soon as I can wat..

I stopped there. And wondered. Is that what I really want? For him not to TRY anymore? Should I not give him credit that he came even after mishaps at work which cost him to lose a few hundred thousand bahts order? No no no. So I shouldn't pick a fight really.

How sure am I that the conversation will be as above? About 99%? Ha!

"What you want to eat afterwards?" he interrupted my thoughts. His tone was soft. And it occurred to me that, he had no freaking idea that I was mad. He had no freaking idea that I could have plotted his murder. :P

While I got all worked up, and feeling angry, and upset.. he was, I think, pondering what he would want to have lunch. Realizing that, I told myself, nah.. not worth 'spoiling my heart'. And I forgave him. Spare him another day...!

Gooly and his bucketful of dinosaurs

Weird fact no. 30428.. I was weirdly an adult when I was a child. While my friends played with Barbie dolls, I wondered what's so fun dolling up non-speaking eerie looking 'patung'. (Heh, I was masculine). While Gargies played with her beh-tai in public, I was very discreet about any form of bodily discharge. (If you don't hear from me, I am dead. Gargies is the prime suspect!)

Hence, I speak well to a child, but to ask me to play.. It's quite a challenge. When Gooly picks dinosaurs, robots or figurines over books, I raise an eyebrow high-high. Alas, I'd relent cos I reckon it's the same why people don't understand the need for me to possess thousands of bags. (Exaggeration la!)

I digress a bit. I think toys manufacturers are the biggest crooks. They put toys out there so we become 'pokkai'. They are schemers who make toys colourful and hence make our children cry their eye balls out, scream their heads off, and roll on floors. What do you mean yours don't? Oh.. ok..Mine neither :P

Hello! Dino-sohsohdei!

Anyways, Gooly's latest obsession is this set of dinosaurs (amongst many other things). He brings them everywhere; sleep with them, eat with them. Kinda like Harry and the Bucketful of Dinosaurs. So how do you play with these non-moving, non-speaking, non-whatever dinos?

They attack one another. They roar. They get abducted, and then rescued. And *whisper* they get fed... they bathe... they go on bicycle rides. *Lower whisper* Isn't it like playing with dolls?

Hmmm...? Do all kids play like that? Don't ask me cos I was too busy watching He-man, She-ra and Smurfs and reading Mills and Boons

*Shouting mode* "No, put the blanket back, Gooly! The dinosaurs are not cold!!"

More hmmmm? :D

BTW, he wants to be called, "Big Boy Dinosaur Optimus Prime." *wipe saliva* Really yat luen jui gum cheong. I get to be Mahmee Dinosaur Bumble Bee. Blek.. not nice one.

I want Puteri Malaikat Gua Santubong! *pontianak laugh*

Got gang already!

While some parents tend to fret about academic stuff i.e. he is not reading "Snakespear" yet at aged 4, I am more concerned about Gooly's social skills. Being the only child, and not in school, and not exactly friendly with the locals, you must understand my predicament.

I grew up happy having friends. I got married to a friend. I gave birth surrounded by friends. I blog, and got to know some crazy friends. So how on earth to live, without friends?

Thus, I have encouraged, prompted, taught Gooly to make friends for a long time. But he remained alone at the park until.. along came Nong Kiu. : )

There... The mini guy who is almost 5 but shorter than the giant Gooly.



They say kids learn languages easily. I anticipated smattering Thai from Gooly after his rounds at the park, but much to my chagrin, they invited a new language to communicate! Something that sounds like gibberish to me, "Kish kreoh bue lok.." And then hahahhahaha..everybody can hear the loony hyenas laughing.! Haiz.. as long as they are happy lah. Maybe they are boys of few words.
Most of the time, they don't talk. They just play and laugh.

And then they recruited two other gang members and started asking for protection fees . Presenting Nong Prem and Nong Bert:

And the gang .. Godfather I, Godfather II, Godfather III, Got IV ah? What the heck.. tadaaa..



The other day, Gooly brought his precious mini-dinosaurs to share with his equally precious friends. There were rambunctious roars which disturbed the otherwise peaceful park. Now who dares to complain? My son is finally having fun!

addendum: Nong Kiu will say bye-bye soon. He is here just for a short visit. :(

My personal doctor

Achoo! Achoo!

I am not in tip top condition. Blek! The only consolation is I have a personal doctor.

"Here, lie down, Mamah. Let me check your heartbeat!' As he has misplaced his stethoscope, he just put his head on my chest and listened.

His diagnosis, "Something is wrong with your bladder." Huiyoh, east meets west kinda practice. Something like the tabib cina taar maak ? But his is more advanced. Only need to listen to heartbeat. :P

As I sniffed, he grabbed some tissue and gently placed it on my nose. "Blow!" he ordered. I giggled a bit. He inspected the tissue and said, "Nothing? Blow harder!" I obliged with a loud exaggerated 'pbbbbbbbbbbbtttttthhhh'.

"Good girl!" He seemed satisfied.

Wait..

"You need to eat medicine. I take some water for you."

Swell lah! He can take care of me already. Some more, he planted a kiss on my forehead before he went to the kitchen. Hoe lum ah... :)

Morning morning

I don't know what got into me, but I was extra energetic yesterday morning. With the gentle zephyr blowing, I suggested that we head to the park. I think I caught Gooly rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

I was even in the mood to cycle with him. As I am vertically challenged, I asked for the neighbour's son's bike, instead of hers (which always causes my derriere to ache). Here is a picture which serves as the portfolio of my adventurous, sporty-self (my 'peace' fingers resting on the handle of the poor bike which has to bear the weight of a horizontally-challenged chica.)


While he got busy with his dino-friends (actually more like soliciting for business), I rested on the slide, and took time to look up at the sky. (I have the time, but usually look at the computer screen only :P) Skies are so pretty, you agree? When I remember, I always look up; while swimming, while at the beach, while cycling. When was the last time you look at the fluffy clouds? I know you did, EW :)



The park was deserted, the kids being at school, the uncles at work, and the aunties at the pasat. So what does that make us? Lonely weirdos?

Whatever laa.. As long as we came back happy. Walking in and then looking at his pics, I kinda wished:
a) weather is always as nice
b) I will always have the mood
c) I will always have the 'time' (ya rite! Excuses!)
d) I will lose some weight (not related, but since I am wishing, might as well..)


But hoh, I am having the sniffles now. Achooo! Achoo! Gee, I think I am allergic to morning activities. Wishing there, allergy here. Very insincere hor? :P

Made in China

"Dinosaurs for sale, dinosaurs for sale."

Ah.. a young peddler is at sight. Now this young chap is always selling everything at 1 sen, it seems. : )

"How much?" I snobbishly asked (though I already knew the answer.)

"1 SEN!" (Cheh! No element of surprise geh..)

"So expensive! Can cheaper or not?" I challenged.

"Caaaan..." He rummaged in his bag.

"Here.. this one Made in China. Very cheap. "

Hiak hiak hiak...

Bee-ing and croak-ing

He draws a bumble bee better than I do..



Ha..but The Karaoke Queen District 19, circa 1999 me sings better that he does :P (What the heck is meriner, meriner, meriner?)

Am loving it!

Yo yo.. check out my new banner! Ain't it pweety? Thanks to Gargies! She is such a doll for sacrificing her morning to do that for me.. Now I have to buy a dildo for her. Ops! Bocor rahsia..

Anyways..my new tag, life's a beach.. Nice, calm, serene.. stormy at times. Nice? It's either a bitch or beach. I chose beach. You?

Gargies thought Life As A Bitch is better. Since I am not using that for obvious reasons, any takers? Gargies? Moe hak hei.. take it! :P

You dare say I am weird? Good for you!

Hoho.. Reanaclaire wants to know how weird am I. What makes her think I am though I am ? 7 weird facts. Hmm.. I'm gonna do this systematically. First I'm gonna split them into two categories; my weirdness, and Gooly's. After all, it's OUR blog. Then, I'd point and laugh at Gooly for his exposed weirdness, and live in shame for mine.

Mahmee's:
1. I like to be the last to wake. If I wake up first and everyone is still asleep, I hit the sack again cos I like to be the last to wake. Because I like to be the last to wake, naturally people who woke before me will wake me up, and I get really pissed off, cos I like to be the last to wake on my own. When I have a date with "Mr.Chau Kung" (a.k.a Mr Sandman, I think), I don't care if the telephone rings, the door knocks, or that it's raining and my laundry is still hung out. My ah bu says it's plain laziness, but I think it's just lazily weird.

2. I always leave the last sip of coffee, water, milo, whatever liquid in the cup. I don't drink to the last drop. Wastefully weird.

3. No matter how hard I try to lose weight, I get stuck at 56kg. No amount of shouting at the weighing machine can bring down the scale. Painfully weird.

4. I get dizzy when I eat curry. Actually it's more like an encounter with apparitions, because the hair on my neck will stand and I feel 'hot'. (Must be the curry devil confronting me). Eerily weird.

5. I can chat, blog, scold, watch TV, eat, dig nose, scratch butt, smell armpit at the same time. Skillfully weird.

6. I read the dictionary. I know qabalah, quagmire, and other x-words which I dont need to use in my daily speech. Stupidly weird.

7. I am a man trapped as a beautiful woman. I don't appreciate roses, romantic dinner, chocolates. Hormonally-challenged and practically weird.

Gooly's (I won't get sued, right?):

8. He needs to hold something to sleep. He used to stroke my lips. I bit him one day, and he started to look for other things to hold. His dinosaur, pistol, socks, books, etc. as long as they are not soft and cuddly. 'Mafan-ly' weird.

9 .He talks to his own feces. He says bye bye to them after flushing, and shouts at them when they are hard. Weirdly weird.

Wah! Got bonus! I gave 9, instead of 7. If I am gonna be weird, I want to be the weirdest! Woot!

There! I am supposed to tag 7 people. Let's get the skeleton out of the closet. Gargies, Raynebows,Kitty Cat, angeles.. everybody... You may begin with, "I am _________. (Echo: Hi, ________) I am a confirmed weirdo.

Beaching

I think we have broken the record of beach outings this year. I have lost count the number of times we hit to the beach(es). Oh well, with the mobs going round town, shopping isn't exactly an option. So, nah, ain't no complaining..

It's funny how pictures are so deceiving. They show how Gooly has no temper, Gooly is always laughing and smiling, and Gooly ..well, doesn't piss me off. Aiya! Ain't no complaining about that too. We only want to keep good memories, and ditch the bad ones, right? But still, pictures are such cheats. By that, I meant I am slimmer, prettier, younger in person.

Made a vid using Sawisekilo's current favourite hit, I'm Yours. By that, I meant Sawisekilo likes the song, she didn't sing it :P.(Geez, am I ambiguous today) Oh.. I love it too. So here goes, my personal MTV. Enjoy...

P & C lesson

The mailman came yesterday and delivered as usual, 'lapsap' a.k.a bills. Gooly got hold of an envelope and was eager to open it. I thought it was a good chance to impart lessons on P & C matters. (Actually, I was eating Maggi Ayam and didn't want to stop my chomps to rip it for him).

"If your name is not written on the envelope, it's not for you. You can't open it, understand?"

He said he did. And walked away. I thought that was easy. For once, there was no 'whys'. Hmmm..

Moments later, he came back with this.


Haha! He has written his papah's name (or rather attempted to. Jams is rather nice too, eh?). See? Now, the papah can open it. It makes sense, and at the same time, doesn't. Haha!

The most 'jinkak' thing is he wrote his papah's name, instead of his. Asked his papah to open it, instead of him doing it. I think he knows somehow he is committing a felony. And amazingly knows how to get rid of evidence... Gotta teach him about using gloves..*Mission Impossible music* :P

Really 'chartoe' man.. How? So 'ku-wak'.. Can 'walk' or not? *Young and Dangerous theme song*

I am not proud

Being a boy, Gooly naturally likes to play rough. Frankly speaking, I get annoyed when he is all 'jumpity'. It gets on my nerves when he plays ninja or kungfu. On good days, I grit my teeth and bear with all the stunts. On not-so-good days, I say, "Oi, not so rough." On baaaad days, hmm.. I don't know. I must have scolded.

However, something happened yesterday that forced me to remember. To remember to control my temper, that is. He was roughing it out, as usual and had accidentally stepped on my toes. Ouch! In a split second, he squatted down and attempted to kiss my toes while apologizing profusely.

Ohh.. I felt so bad. I am so not proud that I have instilled such fear in that little boy. Anyways, I picked him and explained that sometimes I get mad, upset, angry but I still l.o.v.e him. I hope he gets it. Do you think he gets it? :(

And then.. I remembered... Sigh! That time when he deleted my pictures in my camera. I was fuming mad. He was all teary, and he came forward and gave this big smile, with stained cheeks, and said, " Smile at me." I didn't. I am so not proud.

Sure, there are happy times when I am the happy cheerful sporting mama. But I have also been THE DOWAGER. I am so not proud.

Sitting here, typing away, I can recall many incidences when it mattered to him so much that I just smiled at him, but I didn't. I always do afterwards, but not immediately. I should, for he remembers my frowns, my growls, my DOWAGER face. I am so not proud.

:(

There was a time we were famous

A.K.A there was a time I 'sik pau moe yeh joe'. :D