Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I am a striker

I am a strike -off person.

Like this..

Name: Mary Tan Ah Ling
Year struck off: circa 1986
Crime done: Being prettier than me.

Kidding...

But I do strike off people. I just feel that life is better without the unnecessary negative vibes. I simply don't want to be reminded of the frustratingly sad stories of the past.

Hmm..let's take a look at my list of NO MORE FRIENDS :

Dumbo the elephant for being a hypocrite

William Snakespear for owing me money, and not paying

Britney Fears for being dishonest

Mariah Curry for dishonoring friendships

Oh.. not that long a list for three decades of life, no? And Dumbo the Elephant was the last to be added to the list five years ago. So I haven't made any enemies since 2005. Not bad..

I don't hate them. I just wont send them Christmas Cards or.. I will just stare hard at the lizard on the ceiling (I will find one to stare at!) if I happened to bump into them. Avoid eye contact at all cost.

To tell the truth, I don't like striking people off. I rather make friends.

And I have made so many in recent years. Yippeee!

To you, *muacks*. So weird, I know.. my form of expression/appreciation/affection.

*throws pens away* I really hope I don't meet anyone that needs to be struck off anymore. I have lots of assets . Boobs (all three of them), for one. Ooh.. ooh.. and ass. Not to mention my collections of non-original Dvds, crooked ice cream sticks and disposable smiles. You wouldn't want to be struck off from my inheritance, would you?

All real names have been changed because .... I promised myself I will not talk about them anymore. A promise is a promise.

Hahahhahaha (laughter at the background). I'm laughing at myself.

Shuddap you! (I'm talking to myself)

14 comments:

Serious Sinkar said...

if ur reason for striking off people who is prettier than you, you will have no more frens..

serious.

reanaclaire said...

wei, dont strike me off, i m far from pretty and have less boobs than u..

serious 2!

tuti said...

you strike me i cry.

Mamapumpkin said...

hehe...I strike off easily too. were we sisters in a past life?

I AM NOT JOKING GOOLY said...

serious sinkar,

if i keep striking off ppl who are prettier than me, i will have you as my best fren. Like FOREVER.. for thou art the fugliest cow. Isnt that sweet?

seriously serious.

Show me the money gooly said...

claire,

hmmm.. i KIV you first (cos ur teeth whiter than mine).

*hands held out under table with a little note on palm saying 'Bribery accepted.'*

Gooly crooked said...

tuti, dun cry. I stroke you.. aka sayang sayang nia.. no strike.

Gooly reincarnated said...

MP, Interesting theory..I was Pocohantas in my past life though.. Just to re-confirm, did you use to sleep in a tepee too? Otherwise, we couldn't have been sisters.

OOh.. and I had a bear as a pet. called Brother Bear. Do you remember?

I am a terminator said...

you do chor 1, I do 15.

CY said...

U strike me off, I report to polis.
Seriously 3.

8 yuet 15 gooly said...

Terminator mud kwai..chiu!

Yuet liang tai piau wor de shin?

Gooly hungry said...

CY, ding dit lei.. dun every time involve the authority. this kinda thing can settle one:
Ahneh!
1. kopi ais
2. roti pranta
3. kari ikan

Bos bayar..

not lost angeles said...

long time no cum, will u strike me off? if u do, tell me first, ok? after that, u hv to justify according to penalty code 6969, section 584(3-8)...

Gulima said...

Angeles , pindoe seh tak strike u jek.. Still need u as yellow pages leh..:P

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