How do you know when to change?

Long long time ago, I was told by a girl friend, "Wednesday is laundry day."

Not too long ago, another friend said something similar pertaining to fixed schedule for house chores - "Friday is the day I clean everything thoroughly."

I nodded intellectually during both situations, obviously pretending that I did those stuff too. Actually, I don't. I was perplexed at the sound of such seriousness for something as banal as housekeeping.

Out of curiosity, I ran a survey over on MSN:

Me: How often do you change your bedsheet? Once a week? When there are stains? When you can smell the stench?

Yup.. most of them said Once A Week (except for one who said, when my mom nags.)

Instinctively I responded - Once a week? How do you know when to change? Did your mama teach you? Cos my mama didn't. How often I change mine? Why do you wanna know? (I know, I am such a pain in the arse.)

This is my 4th year holding this position as the Household 'Charfityan', I am still trying to figure out things like, "How often does one change the bedsheet?" and "What about the curtains?" "Should I wipe the top of the electric meter box?" and "Crap, what do you mean we have to clean the inside of the cabinets?"

Mind you, I do know loads of trivia stuff like, 'Worms are Hermaphrodites'..but I just don't know how often I should change the damn bedsheet.

Obviously I am not doing a good job as a maid. Should I quit?

And be a princess instead?

P/s: I just learned that when you don't throw out the water from the spritzer after ironing, it will be colonized by little green martians called moss.