Toilet story part 6 - Goolymama kapsih

(for part 2 - 5, you have to rent from Ezzy Video in your friendly neighbourhood)

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An "Oh shit!" expression is appropriate and acceptable when..

... the slushy shit is approximately 2mm away from your shit-hole.

.. but you are in a taxi, and unlike Bas VVIP Kemboja to Singapore, it contains no shit-hole.

... and there are 100 cars ahead of your vehicle at the 'everyday not spoil but today spoiled ' traffic light. Yep..you are stuck in a shit-hole. (Come learn semantics with me! )

What a shituation! (Expand your vocabulary with me!)

It's a good thing that I learned Wing Chun for 2 days when I was 5.. I think it helped to control the biggest muscle on our body, which is the butt-lar..where else?

Sweat trickled down on my brows as I hushed Gooly's yakking (because I needed to concentrate on the tautness of my aforesaid muscle.)

Nearing our apartment, I gave directions to Gooly which sounded more like a warning, "When the taxi stops, run, Gooly...run as fast you can! Run like a dog is chasing after you.."

He nodded, looking like I have entrusted him with the world's biggest mission. By then, he already knew about the rumble in my tummy. It's a good thing that we can say aloud words like orsi, kapsi, lai si, lembik si, ngang si without embarrassing ourselves here.

Sometimes he makes announcements to the whole kingdom of Thailand with words like, "Mama, you PANGSAI? Soft or hard?" in a crowded public toilet. I'd flush, exit and wonder if the next patron of the cubicle can guess the meaning of PANGSAI, with the traces of aroma I left behind.

Anyways, back to the shituation yesterday..

I cleverly adapted the Lamaze childbirth breathing technique to tahan the unstoppable.

Fuu fuu fuu fuu~ *hold breath*

Arrrrggghhhhh.....it's coming out! *wipe brows*

Fuu fuu fuu fuu fuu~ *exhale*

"YOU CAN DO IT, MAMA!" Gooly cheered.

Haha..

I tell you..

It was difficult to laugh when you have the contract certain muscles while releasing the others. It's like smiling and frowning at the same time.

And to make it worse, he taught me how to 'do it'.

He made a swift movement which involved two open palms which were joined in a flash, and said, "You 'tzerp' ( a zipping sound?) your backside, and hold you 'sai'."

Moments later, we were running at the corridor, me holding my butt (as if it would help!) and laughing hysterically and swearing internally. A natural multi-tasker, I am. ;-)

After I unleashed all the 'unwanted', gooly congratulated and acknowledged my success-

"You made it! I told you, you can do it! Good job!'

Chartoe yang teramat chartoe.