Do you remember how your mom or dad looked like to you, when you were younger?
When you were only four feet tall?
..and everyone else looked gargantuan?
Well, I have always perceived my ahbu as, a little on the heavier side. Pretty nonetheless, with her double-lidded eyes. But I disapprove of her 'paujarjong' bombing curly hair. Haha.
I remember also...
..that she sometimes walked me to the kindergarten. Once, I told her that I would close my eyes, she must hold on to my hand, and guide me as we walk. Moments later, I stepped into a hole, and fell. Does that make me trust her less? Not really.. I just wondered what she was thinking during that short silent journey. Because, even when I have not completed my alphabet then, I already knew how to sense the meaning of her silent reverie; she wasn't completely happy.
... and a little later, when I was 9, I received an award for being first in class. I was also in an Indian dance performance. For many nights, she would ask me to perform for her, solo. There were quite some butt-shaking actions there. On the actual ceremony day, she didn't work, and came to watch me perform on stage. In my gaudy seven-tiered skirt, I worried..that she couldn't understand English or Bahasa, and wouldn't know where to be seated. Would she know it's my turn to dance? Would she know that they have just announced my name to receive the prize?
"Did you see me? Did you see me?" I repeated, sounding like a broken record.
"YES!"
Even if she had lied, I don't blame her. She was there. She wanted to be there. That's all that mattered.
..and there was a time, I bade her "Good Night." She said she couldn't pronounce the words.
I helped her, emphasizing on the 'G' sound and 'N' sound for a good ten minutes. She stammered a bit, mispronounced a bit. Finally when she said it right, she confessed that she knew, but just wanted to tease me. To me, it also means she wanted to spend time with me.
That's one 10 minute I treasure forever.
..And now? All I can say is..
She has aged so much. Her hair is white. Her face sunken. Her arms and legs frail looking. She has lost half her weight.
She lost her mobility.
She lost her independence.
While I do not have the remedy for her ailments, I hope we can offer other aspects of therapy.
Today, Gooly said, "Amah, I take care of you, want or not?" while holding her hand when descending the stairs.
Love. Sympathy. Care. Help. Attention.
Ahbu, it's time you get them.
It's not that we haven't tried supplying them before, but when she is so busy giving and with 'selfless' as her middle name, her 'receiving' mode can be turned off.
Ahbu, turn on your antenna.Saudoemoe?
7 comments:
so touching...
our mums are the best of the best...
this evening when i saw my mum...she has aged a lot too.. weight gone down, wearing a big coat cos she said she was feeling cold.. asked me to pray for her.. i will do anything to please her though at times, i beh tahan, i hv to talk to her louder than normal otherwise she wont listen...
1. so naughty one you? can you see yourself in gooly? 10 juk 10!
2. hoe gwei gum toong. *dab tears* mothers day, got hug her and say "i lup you" moe?
3. yuen loi, sautoemoe is meant like this one. now i know.
4. pak moe, lei hoe moe? hope you feel better.
*no hands.. i didnt touch you! dun sue me..:P
I am lame when i am soapy..forgive me. Nak macho sikit maa. ;)
claire.. need meh? Use loud speaker oi moe? I come and rotan u ah..talk to mother loud loud again.
8-B
GG,
1. lalalala *cover ears*
2. MOE! Ngo dei choot lei hang..moe hug hug geh!
3. before this, u think it's sama erti with kalataimoe?
4. "nei hai pin wai? TARKIP ahhhh kaumeng ahh...TARKIP ah poh aaaahhh!"
*ur comments always make me abnormal -_-*
I think we always take our mums for granted and don't take enough time to appreciate them - i am guilty! Hope yr mum gets well soon.
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