The seven days

Ooh..it's been a week. Sofa, so good I must say. :)

Peach girl sleeps aplenty. So much that she didn't wake for her feeds. That's until today..when she finally does stir and cry a wee bit when hungry. To be honest, I was getting a bit worried. She looked high all the time!

It was different with gooly. He was a light sleeper..if you could even call him a sleeper! It was perhaps my first time being a mother, I was so afraid that he would wake and cry, and Then i wouldn't know how to pacify him. We were literally on our toes and talking in a secretive hush hush voice all the time. And when he woke for milk, I'd pray to good Lord that he falls right back to sleep.

Meanwhile, lil Missy is..I hate to say this..but she's just like me! A lazy bugger who snores and snorts (she hasn't, really..but it's just a matter of time, I'm sure). You could blare a horn next to her ( just saying, don't do it, you sicko!) and she would still be in lalaland.

She sleeps so much that we get all excited when she does wake. " She's up! Let's play!". And she gives up sheepish smiles and we all melt with awwwww sound effects.

This is only the first week. Maybe she starts bawling tomorrow. Jeng jeng jeng....

Little Lolly

Maybe it's the way you scrunch your nose while pouting a little...

Or the way your lips curl up just a bit, giving us a shy smile..

Perhaps it's how you gingerly place your head on my chest when I burp you..

And also how your litle fingers find their ways around mine.

Could be how your yawns are soundless yet satisfying..

Or how your dark irises stare out in space.

Whatever it is..we are sold. You are loved for life.

First thoughts

Hmmmm... You look like a Dawn...perhaps a Zoey..not quite the name I have chosen for you. but oh well, your features will change, I suppose.

And oh my...you are so round..no.,,no...your face is kinda peach-like. A little like siu long pau. Hmmm..

I spent a few hours looking...staring at you, kinda like looking at a gold fish in a fish bowl, marveling at every crease, every line, every fold on your face, chuckling at your every sudden startled jerky movement , smiling when you scrunched up your nose, pouted your lips or blinked the lights away.

And I thought you were simply beautiful.

Thank you for fighting the fight with me. We just proved to the doc that he was wrong, didn't we?

"We are gonna be okay," we said that on that day. And we shall be. ;)

Ps: a picture soon ok to those of you who didn't catch her leaked shots by paparazzi in the latest Peoples Magazine :p

The hours before

Dear Lolly,

Guess what? I'll be seeing you in a coupla hours time! Yipppeee!

So these are the final hours we'll be sharing the same blood, same food, same air. And after this, you can fly like the wind..............(They haven't even inject me with drugs yet!)

For me, it's goodbye heartburn.. insomnia.. and sad-fully, little butterflies in my tummy..

We pray for your good health. Can't wait to see you, cuddle you and anggu guchi you.

Love, and be loved, k?

Mummy, 3.00pm. :)

P/s: PLEASE dont be a cry baby! :D And if it's alright, sleep thru the night..suckle properly and err.. that's it! Not too much to ask for, right? Teehee..

Holding hands

As I was driving just now, I felt a strong push at my abdomen, startling me.

Instinctively my right hand went down to feel it. Judging from where her head is now..that tiny bulge on the right side sure felt like it was her tiny fist.

*chuckles*

And there I was holding her tiny hand, though thru a barricade of some sort.. And I was grinning like mad.

It could be her foot or whatever body parts, but I'd like to think we held hands for a moment then.

I know..silly mahmee!

*sheepish*

Gooly draws

Gooly loves to draw. He leaves sketches of drawings for me everywhere. The moment I announce I'm feeling quesy or unwell, he gets down to work - drawing me a get-well-soon card. Or when I'm away for a coupla hours, there will a a drawing of some sort waiting at home for me.

Truth be told, his pieces do not stand a chance to be hung at the Lourve. *chuckles* He still draws stickman figurines, ok? At the most, he has their eyes crossed out to depict a dead-man face. And fluffy clouds often can be mistaken as piles of dung floating on air.

But a smile always creeps in the moment I look at his drawing. And I always can't wait for him to tell me the story behind it. Oooh...yes..there's always a tale to accompany the illustration.

Today he drew me a picture of a man standing next to a puddle of water. In the water, a man with crossed out eyes, pressumably dead and above the water, a rickety bridge (which looks like a foot-long sausage). The caption read: Next time don't fall into the water again.

"One day two men were walking..and one man walked into the water and he drowned. The other man said, "Next time don't fall into the water again." I spelled all the words myself, mom. I just try sounding them out. And that was how the bridge was invented..so no man will fall into water again."

He ended the story with a smile.

Gotta love it.

He may not be an artist..but he sure can make up stories.

And I think he has gotten the hang of spelling words. Seems to be getting them right most of the time now. :)

14 more days?

What d'ya know.. It's almost the beginning of the end of the school holidays.

I had deliberately not planned anything too hectic for Gooly. Kinda taking it as the last me & him time before Lolly pops.

We didn't do much but at the same time, seem like had done a lot. We talked...we drew...played and laughed. Many afternoons were spent doodling for Lolly. If I could, I'd like to sew, knit, crochet, build a cot for her cos I'm sentimental like that..but alas, can't lift a needle or hammer without being admitted to the emergency.

I can't draw either. So I doodled. Irregular patterns and non-sensical themes.Gooly did something similar. Looks like thrashy kitschy art pieces await the lil bub. Forgive us for the lack of talent, but hey..you were in our thoughts, miss Lolly.

I'm taking the last weeks of my last pregnancy (I swear!) pretty cooly. Taking time to remember and to marvel.. to stare at the washing machine movements, to feel the awe..to prepare myself for the next journey.

Tsunami hit the shores of Acheh six years ago when Gooly was born at 36 weeks. Last week, as Lolly was 36weeks old in utero, the wrath of tsunami struck again. Deja vue at its creepiest and saddest sense.

So it's 37th week as of now. Take your time, Lolly. No rush..momma will keep you safe till you deem ready for the world. The heartburns are a bitch..otherwise, momma's doing pretty ok. Darn those sleepless nights too...and Braxton Hicks shits...but momma is fine.......!

See ya this Saturday on screen! Korkor drew on us - on my tummy, that is. And the ink is not exactly coming off. How embarrassing for prof to see my tattoo-ed bulge, eh..

God and machine

Gooly: Mom, who made God?

Me: *blink blink*

Gooly : I mean like God made everything but who made Him?

Me: *blink blink* God made himself? God existed before anything else. It's quite a mystery, I must say...

Gooly: But there is (was) no God, right when dinosaurs were alive?

Me: *blink blink* Hmmm... He must have (existed)...

Gooly: Maybe God is a machine...or he has a machine that created Him. *makes some chunking clanking machine sounds*

..and he continued drawing, with the tip of his tongue protruding. Don't think he was expecting an answer from me, really.

Someone somewhere is having a bb too

We have this friendly delivery man who comes by every month to deliver stuff that papah ordered.

Over the months, we have exchanged little conversations. Sometimes I see him around PJ areas, and I give a honk. He looks up and smiles.

Today he asked when I'm due. I said,"Bila bila!" He looked shocked cos apparently I look like I had only hit my fourth month pregnancy. Well, he was comparing my stomach to his wife's, whom he said, is at the hospital now, waiting to pop. He looked really anxious but happy, nonetheless. He continued that he had to finish his delivery quick so he could go to the hospital.

I smiled and wished him good luck. And he returned with a gracious terima kasih.

Just as he was leaving, I asked if it's gonna be a girl? He nodded." Oh, just like mine!" I offered, not caring if he really wanted to know.

Somehow, preggers always find comfort or pleasures in similarities like, same baby sex, same due date, same due month, same hospital, same whatever... Or is it just me? Teehee.

Gooly - the gentleman

We go to the passer malam quite a fair bit these days. Abhu grabs the heaviest items she can find, like oranges and guavas, and occasionally some kilos of fish balls to feed the whole village. Because I, myself have a gunny sack of rice in my tummy, I can't possibly help her with the loads.

Hence, the way to go would be asking her to wait at the side of the road while I drive my pink Ferrari over.

Gooly was with me the other night. As we sauntered back to my pink ferrari, he thought aloud that he ought to have carried some stuff to ease nainai's burden. I was already thinking of sinking my teeth into the muachee I just bought, so I wasn't really paying attention.. I probably gave him a nod or something equally non-communicative.

I drove my pink Ferrari over, put on the signal, and signaled abhu to clamber on- my mind still on 'muachee muachee muachee' mode. Then I heard the door opened. I swung my head behind just to make sure it was abhu.

To my surprise, Gooly has gone down to help carry the goods. "Nainai, wo pang ni!" and he heaved the heaviest bundle into the car.

Ahh.. It sure is handy to have a fine young man living with us. :)

And oh... I noticed that he has been pulling chairs out for me during chomp times. And holding the doors open with a cheery, "You go first, mom!"

Looks like my son is growing up to be a gentleman... Ohhh..just like Jack. Jack in Titanic. Not Jack Neo.

Note: Saying that I drive a pink Ferrari three times made me giddy with happiness. Not that I have any. Cheap thrill!

Stupid insomnia

Yesterday was one of those damned days. I just couldn't fall asleep...till about 6am, I think....

And I was on the couch outside. I felt a tug, opened my eyes a little, and saw Gooly inches away from me.

"Are you ok, mom? Couldn't sleep again?"

I mumbled a yes..and told him to go back to sleep, as I assumed he was just awaken for his morning pee. He obliged.

And I slept the whole morning,while he got busy with nainai and his cousin. A few times he came in to check if I'm done with hibernation, only to be disappointed that his mom is indeed a polar bear in winter.

On one occasion he told me that he had better close the door as nainai was on a mission to exterminate some colonies of ants, right outside my room.

I'd appreciate that, I said.

And another time he wished we could go Ikano later..when I'm not so tired..when I'm awake. Sure, I said.

And he patiently waited.

When I mustered enough energy, we did go Ikano. Bought him his favorite kikkok snack, and his eyes glistened, his smiles widen, and he hopped like a bunny rabbit as though I just bought him a new ipad2.

When we came home, I spent an hour drawing, doodling - whatever with him while talking about what I had missed during the day time while I snoozed. His eyelids were getting really heavy. Just before his head hit the pillow, he managed a "Mom, you are the best mom I ever had." Yes, it sounded all wrong and weird, but I bet that came straight from his heart and pierced right through mine.


Sounds of little snores were heard as I kissed him goodnight. I shall continue my solitude thru the nite, just like many nights before.

He must have waited for his momma for so long, practically the whole day, which must have seem like eternity -to a kid.

Thank you for being the most understanding person in the world, son. When I get rid of this insomnia, we'll go hunting for (teddy)bears for kicks, ok?

Love ya.

Not so big

The other day I met up with a good friend who came back from Australia for a short visit. Was caught in the traffic on the way home- didn't make it to greet gooly at the gate, as I usually do (he takes the van now till after my confinement, I guess). He called me once he reached home, of course and I explained my predicament. Told him to have his dinner, and I'd be back in a jiffy.

Upon entering the house, I realized that the hot shower has been turned on. He was dancing in the 'rain', stomping on the little puddles he had made. He is not tall enough (yet) to turn on the heater and the shower on/off button.and that's when I saw the green ikea stool next to him.

Ahh.. He has climbed on it to do stuff himself.

Ahh.. The ability to think of a solution before shouting out for help or the notion of NOT just waiting out till mom gets home to do it, makes me feel proud of his independence.

What am I talking? Going to school for a whole six hours and taking rides home alone are epitomes of independence! But still, little changes in his everyday routine makes me think how grown up he is.

And proud.

So I shouted a boo that scared the bollocks out of him, making him squeal...ah just like a little boy. Transformation of big boy to a little one with a shriek. I like that. At least I know the baby in him still exists.

"Mom, where did you go? I miss you.... I ate my dinner and was waiting for you. So I took a shower. See the stool? I wasn't tall enough...!" he prattled on.

Ahh.. The little boy who still divulges his day to day thoughts and feelings. To me. His mother.

I like that too.A lot.

Whoopeee!

Gooly always brings me back stuff from his diving, hunting, gallivanting trips.

Sometimes he brings home shark fins or sting rays for me to cook.

Today it was a pearl the size of a pingpong ball.

Hang on..it was a pingpong ball!

*chuckles*

These are all imaginary trips, of course.

Can't wait till he goes for the real stuff. Think - cache of jewels, strands of pearls, crocodile skin bags.....oooh...I'm excited, thinking of the loots I'll be getting.

Whoopeee!

well, hello...

Haiya..

It has been a sluggish week.

Wide awake most of the nights.

Tired and sleepy during daytime, of course. A zombified corpse indeed, I am.

I plop on the sofa, on the bed, on the couch..doze off ..only to be annoyingly awaken by my own snores or the creaking of the fan or the chirping of a bird.

What is wrong with my sleeping genes?

Gooly has been so understanding. I have told him about my insomnia. He tiptoes out of the room in the morning, closing the door tightly knowing how the creaking sounds irritate the bollocks out of me. Unless really necessary, he comes to ask me stuff i.e can I have the chocolate? When I groggily say yes, he suggests that I go back to sleep, if I want to. Maybe he is secretly enjoying my state of sleepiness cos I just can't muster enough energy to say no and cause a chocolatey sad tale.

And when I couldn't walk ten steps to grab a tissue to wipe my booger, I asked him to help. He gladly plucked one out from the box and added a bonus cup of water for me. Awwww... Isn't he the sweetest?

There is a pile of new clothes I should be dumping into the machine before Lolly comes. I wonder if gooly could do it..... Kiddddddding..... I'm not into child labour, ok....

Hmm.. In the past nine months.. There were times where I had -
A. Been sleepy and tired 24 hours at times but now, I'm nosferatu..only sleeps during the day

B. Been in a hippie mood -"good morning, world....good morning, sunshine....good morning, tweety birds..." it's as though I lived with pixies and fairies. These crazy high on drugs moods didn't last long, thankfully... But long enough for some people to suffer, me thinks.

C. Been feeling indifferent about things. Like I didn't care if Burberry had a new range. Like omg-can-you-freaking-believe-it? That kept papah happy and relieved for a while, me thinks.

D. Not been craving for any food. I think this food craving is over rated. But if it means waking your hub up in the middle of the night to fetch you some shit to eat...and he would obligingly drive to Kg Sungai Pokok to get it for you, by all means...mengada all you want. I won't tell him you are faking your craving like Meg Ryan did in When Harry Met Sally. ( though she was faking something else)

E. Been having bouts of flu every other week. Mucus spewing like larva from volcanoes.

Darn those hormones. This post could be titled - 'memoirs of a sleepy insomniac pregger lady' but I'm too lazy to click on the title to change it. Sue me. (what's with the attitude, eh?)

Wait... Am I boring myself that I just yawned? Yipeeee! I may fall asleep after all. And it's only 1.30 am! Yay!

I hope I can sleeep! * fingers n eyes crossed*

The month before..

I have heard about moms-to-be developing the nestling (nesting?Wrestling?) habit as the due dates draw nearer. But I have not exhibited this motherly charm. Been buying clothes for her, yes... But washing and scrubbing and setting up the cot, no.

However, I now do have this...watchamacallit...weird thinking - that I'd go MIA for awhile from the surface of the earth once lolly is delivered. I keep thinking that I won't have time. I will be busy 'RUINNING' (not running) an empire.

Thus, I have been -

1.spending time alone, listening to songs I like in the car, knowing well that twinkle itsy bitsy row your boat will resurface AGAIN in my life for the next 600 days, or more...

2. Putting on more make up, remembering that I had looked like a maid for the first three years gooly was born (make that four..)

3. Making friends happy (I hope), hoping that they will remember me still even when I am too busy milking, diapering, screaming, gushing in the very near future..so near that I feel my breasts drooping every second- that I smell imaginary poop - that I feel my throat itch as i type -that I hear my irritating high pitched voice.

4. Spending time with friends - talking about them, realizing that the topics I can cover in the following months will be and gotta be something to do with b-a-b-y. Sorry, I won't be able to discuss Laws of Physics with you anymore. I pity you, my friends....

5. Gazing into gooly's eyes, listening to him, playing with him - so afraid that he will be banished from the kingdom due to my temporary
insanity once my boobies are exposed for the world to see.

I should be watching some tv series too...considering that I didn't touch the remote for 5 years after gooly was born but I'm not exactly a couch potato.

I should be eating at hawker stalls... The further away, the better since babies don't exactly like crowded dirty joints but it's not like I can eat rice and stuff *shrug*.

What else should I do?

Oeeei? This is beginning to sound like a bucket list. Choy!!! Ptui ptui ptui!!!

Haih.. Take this as a journey to mentally prepare myself for the new life.

Yeah, Lolly..can't wait to see you! (in case this sounds like a dreaded pregnancy...it is not :p. I just tend/ like to modify situations and thoughts to ridiculous scenarios to make myself sane. FYI, I love being pregnant. I am glowing.. And smiley most of the time)

:) see?