Am loving it!

Yo yo.. check out my new banner! Ain't it pweety? Thanks to Gargies! She is such a doll for sacrificing her morning to do that for me.. Now I have to buy a dildo for her. Ops! Bocor rahsia..

Anyways..my new tag, life's a beach.. Nice, calm, serene.. stormy at times. Nice? It's either a bitch or beach. I chose beach. You?

Gargies thought Life As A Bitch is better. Since I am not using that for obvious reasons, any takers? Gargies? Moe hak hei.. take it! :P

You dare say I am weird? Good for you!

Hoho.. Reanaclaire wants to know how weird am I. What makes her think I am though I am ? 7 weird facts. Hmm.. I'm gonna do this systematically. First I'm gonna split them into two categories; my weirdness, and Gooly's. After all, it's OUR blog. Then, I'd point and laugh at Gooly for his exposed weirdness, and live in shame for mine.

Mahmee's:
1. I like to be the last to wake. If I wake up first and everyone is still asleep, I hit the sack again cos I like to be the last to wake. Because I like to be the last to wake, naturally people who woke before me will wake me up, and I get really pissed off, cos I like to be the last to wake on my own. When I have a date with "Mr.Chau Kung" (a.k.a Mr Sandman, I think), I don't care if the telephone rings, the door knocks, or that it's raining and my laundry is still hung out. My ah bu says it's plain laziness, but I think it's just lazily weird.

2. I always leave the last sip of coffee, water, milo, whatever liquid in the cup. I don't drink to the last drop. Wastefully weird.

3. No matter how hard I try to lose weight, I get stuck at 56kg. No amount of shouting at the weighing machine can bring down the scale. Painfully weird.

4. I get dizzy when I eat curry. Actually it's more like an encounter with apparitions, because the hair on my neck will stand and I feel 'hot'. (Must be the curry devil confronting me). Eerily weird.

5. I can chat, blog, scold, watch TV, eat, dig nose, scratch butt, smell armpit at the same time. Skillfully weird.

6. I read the dictionary. I know qabalah, quagmire, and other x-words which I dont need to use in my daily speech. Stupidly weird.

7. I am a man trapped as a beautiful woman. I don't appreciate roses, romantic dinner, chocolates. Hormonally-challenged and practically weird.

Gooly's (I won't get sued, right?):

8. He needs to hold something to sleep. He used to stroke my lips. I bit him one day, and he started to look for other things to hold. His dinosaur, pistol, socks, books, etc. as long as they are not soft and cuddly. 'Mafan-ly' weird.

9 .He talks to his own feces. He says bye bye to them after flushing, and shouts at them when they are hard. Weirdly weird.

Wah! Got bonus! I gave 9, instead of 7. If I am gonna be weird, I want to be the weirdest! Woot!

There! I am supposed to tag 7 people. Let's get the skeleton out of the closet. Gargies, Raynebows,Kitty Cat, angeles.. everybody... You may begin with, "I am _________. (Echo: Hi, ________) I am a confirmed weirdo.

Beaching

I think we have broken the record of beach outings this year. I have lost count the number of times we hit to the beach(es). Oh well, with the mobs going round town, shopping isn't exactly an option. So, nah, ain't no complaining..

It's funny how pictures are so deceiving. They show how Gooly has no temper, Gooly is always laughing and smiling, and Gooly ..well, doesn't piss me off. Aiya! Ain't no complaining about that too. We only want to keep good memories, and ditch the bad ones, right? But still, pictures are such cheats. By that, I meant I am slimmer, prettier, younger in person.

Made a vid using Sawisekilo's current favourite hit, I'm Yours. By that, I meant Sawisekilo likes the song, she didn't sing it :P.(Geez, am I ambiguous today) Oh.. I love it too. So here goes, my personal MTV. Enjoy...

P & C lesson

The mailman came yesterday and delivered as usual, 'lapsap' a.k.a bills. Gooly got hold of an envelope and was eager to open it. I thought it was a good chance to impart lessons on P & C matters. (Actually, I was eating Maggi Ayam and didn't want to stop my chomps to rip it for him).

"If your name is not written on the envelope, it's not for you. You can't open it, understand?"

He said he did. And walked away. I thought that was easy. For once, there was no 'whys'. Hmmm..

Moments later, he came back with this.


Haha! He has written his papah's name (or rather attempted to. Jams is rather nice too, eh?). See? Now, the papah can open it. It makes sense, and at the same time, doesn't. Haha!

The most 'jinkak' thing is he wrote his papah's name, instead of his. Asked his papah to open it, instead of him doing it. I think he knows somehow he is committing a felony. And amazingly knows how to get rid of evidence... Gotta teach him about using gloves..*Mission Impossible music* :P

Really 'chartoe' man.. How? So 'ku-wak'.. Can 'walk' or not? *Young and Dangerous theme song*

I am not proud

Being a boy, Gooly naturally likes to play rough. Frankly speaking, I get annoyed when he is all 'jumpity'. It gets on my nerves when he plays ninja or kungfu. On good days, I grit my teeth and bear with all the stunts. On not-so-good days, I say, "Oi, not so rough." On baaaad days, hmm.. I don't know. I must have scolded.

However, something happened yesterday that forced me to remember. To remember to control my temper, that is. He was roughing it out, as usual and had accidentally stepped on my toes. Ouch! In a split second, he squatted down and attempted to kiss my toes while apologizing profusely.

Ohh.. I felt so bad. I am so not proud that I have instilled such fear in that little boy. Anyways, I picked him and explained that sometimes I get mad, upset, angry but I still l.o.v.e him. I hope he gets it. Do you think he gets it? :(

And then.. I remembered... Sigh! That time when he deleted my pictures in my camera. I was fuming mad. He was all teary, and he came forward and gave this big smile, with stained cheeks, and said, " Smile at me." I didn't. I am so not proud.

Sure, there are happy times when I am the happy cheerful sporting mama. But I have also been THE DOWAGER. I am so not proud.

Sitting here, typing away, I can recall many incidences when it mattered to him so much that I just smiled at him, but I didn't. I always do afterwards, but not immediately. I should, for he remembers my frowns, my growls, my DOWAGER face. I am so not proud.

:(

There was a time we were famous

A.K.A there was a time I 'sik pau moe yeh joe'. :D

Beach Galore

Yeap.. went to the beach again. This time for erm.. 4/5..days? Can't remember cos dates and time don't matter when ..heck. The clock seems to have stopped years ago, when I became a SHM. The biological clock is still ticking though... tick tick tick. Kaboom!

Fuiyoh! The internal bomb exploded when Gooly deleted all the pics on the 3rd day, man. If there was a cactus in sight, I would have executed my long awaited diabolical plan of tying him up there. But alas, not even a coconut tree was available. Hmm?

Anyways, he promised to pose willingly and charmingly all over again. So, I cooled down a bit. And the waves did somewhat calm me. On that day the pics disappeared, that is. On the other days, they were fierce, crashing to the shore. I was partly awed and slightly afraid of them. Have always been. Do they have the same effect on you? The waves, I mean.

Though I tried to close my eyes and relax a bit, the 'kooooshing' sounds awoke me, as though daring me to face my fear. And so I stared at them. Very intensely. And finally went back to my cheap motel feeling defeated, cos I am still scared of tsunamis.

Crappy.. crappy : ) Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.

Published!

Thanks to Sweetpea, we masuk magajin too! :D

My other son Calvin

When Gooly was two, he drew a circle and a vertical line at the bottom edge, and claimed that he drew a lolly. Sometimes the circle appeared not to be as round as he hoped for, and he would decide that it was a chicken drumstick instead.

He has somewhat progressed further. He can draw a picture of fluffy clouds, with happy looking sun. Not forgetting the bumblebees and butterflies fluttering around. Kinda kitschy, don't you think? But still, I have to say, "Waawwaaaa!". Inevitably, the man in me thought the picture was too saccharine sweet, and thus I made a mental note about teaching him the aerodynamic shaped aeroplanes (as if I could :P). Then again, I don't have to worry about paying Dr. Quack with such serene looking pictures.



And then.. and then...as though he read my mind, he continued drawing ...

*

*

A LONG NECK DINOSAUR! With spikes on his back, and roaring sharp teeth, spitting out fire to destroy the Happy Garden. (Could it be a dragon since it breathed fire?)




And soon, Happy Garden was a glob of darkness..!

Woah.. So destructive! *Gasp* I read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes while impregnated with him. That figures.. he has a streak of CALVINISM in him now. I LIKE!



Did Calvin go to the psychologist's? :P

The Domestic Helper

Gooly likes to 'kajiau' when I do house chores. "Let me help!" usually ends with spilled milk and cracked eggs. "Opssss!" is always uttered. Sometimes I heave a groan of despair and clean up the mess. Sometimes I manage a 'it's ok' smile while gently remind him to be more careful next time.

A while ago, I was in solitude on the WC when I heard 'cling clang' and 'jit jit' and 'jit jit' some more.

"Are you cleaning up the dishes?" I hollered.

"Yes, Mahmee!" - this I dread. The 'jit jit' means he is squeezing way too much dish soap. I had to cut short my getaway at the loo to launch an impromptu site inspection.

It's kinda cute to see the way he perched over the sink on the stool, grinning from ear to ear, and proudly proclaimed, "It's all done!" Okeh.. he didn't break anything. But Officer Mahmee didn't grant him the ISO 9001:2000 certification for traces of oil was still visible on the plates. Ewwww..

But I didn't 'throw cold water' on him lah. I thank him instead for not breaking anything.

The same goes this morning when he helped me with the laundry. See how every single piece of garment was anything but 'straight'?

(gambar hilang :( )

Ooooh.. he is so proud he 'did a good job'. I didn't rearrange the garments. I reckon there shouldn't be too many rules and limitation when he tries to help. At 5pm, straight or not straight, the laundry will be dry, agree? : )

At night while he sleeps, I roam around the house and see traces of 'mistakes' done by him; the triangular folded shirt, the underwears in the towel drawer, the mismatched socks. I touch them not. Instead, I whisper "thanks" again. Now, tell me.. would he have driven YOU up the wall? :P

I forgot to add this pic earlier. Actually this is the part he makes me tear my hair out. Him, pretending to be a wounded animal trapped, and Mahmee's rescue is needed, pronto. I don't like adventures laaa, Gooly...

The Mailman Rang the Bell

After lunch at the usual trusty venue, we strolled back to our house, expecting another boring afternoon. We went indoor, and I was about to remind Gooly yet another boring command of, 'Drink water ah..' when suddenly the almost-never-been-used door bell rang. The sound of DING DONG excited Gooly that he went charging outside, and a split second later, hollered," It's the mail man, Mahmee."

Woooo..The mail man never rings the bell. He is always unwelcome as he delivers junk mails and junk bills. But this time, I smiled and almost hollered like Gooly, "IT'S THE MAIL MAN AND HE HAS A PACKAGE FOR US!" I composed myself, and received the package with glee. I kinda already knew who sent it, because only she would. : )
Zoweee! A box all the way from Boston. We ripped the box apart while Black Power Ranger was left abandoned.

Oh goodies! Books and snacks for Gooly and me.


"Mine! All mine!" he shrieked. :) Enclosed was a beautiful card with beautiful bags and words in unintelligible cursive writing.

I am so very touched. They were meant to be Birthday cum Christmas pressies. Neither my birthday nor Christmas is in October.Gooly's is not anywhere near too. But heck, who gives a hoot about dates?

Ah! What else is in the package? Akiane's biography! She is so sweet! I have merely mentioned the book, and asked her to check the price for it. For months there were no answers, and I didn't want to ask again, lest she is busy with work. And now I own it! Swell!


Look at Gooly. He couldn't wait to devour the books. I couldn't wait to read mine! So I told him to look at the pictures first, while I scheme through mine. Look how intensely he stares at the pics.! Much to his chagrin, I couldn't put mine down, and he started to ask questions pertaining his book. Aiyah! Kakajiaujiau. I escaped to the loo on the pretext of a tummy ache (partly true) and proceeded to browse through my book. (No pics here :P)

Still I couldn't escape. He was at the door, pounding and exclaiming, "Look Mama, look.. a unicycle." Ok ok .. Mahmee 'disconnected' the *ahem* brown-coloured waste and went out to placate his quest for knowledge.

CY (not the one in Rayong :P) , thanks so much for your thoughtfulness. Miss you heaps.Ahem.. something impromptu here. I want to yamsi oledi..

Sometimes
I wish we could get lost in Chinatown again
and buy bags like we are insane

I wish we could sing "Taipau Leung Loong"
when they have buffet package at noon

Everday
I wish Bun grows up knowing and loving you
I wish he could learn the artistic skills and loyalty traits from you.

I wish you needn't be there, and me here
For happy times are assured even without the beer
When we are together, my dear.

Everyone, meet my dear fwen, Sharkira. :P. Blessed indeed I am to have a friend like her. :)

I Lop You, You Lop Me

Yehoooo! *double flip somersault and land with a split* Ah? Olympic torch blew out already ah? But still.. I feel elated that Gargies has professed her love for me my blog. To tell the truth, I like her hamsap stories as well. So, here is throwing it back to ya, Gargies. Catch!

The old man opposite

There lives an old man, with his son and daughter in law and three grandchildren. Opposite my house. Diagonally. At the corner. The one with many bushes. The house, not the old man.

Without fail, three times a day, I watch him pass by my house. One hand holding a red umbrella, the other, a ciggy. Actually, six times, not three. Because he'd return using the same route. One thing very obvious though, he always go with a ciggy, and return with a red plastic bag containing tarpau-ed food.

He walks rather slowly, and with his receding white gray hair, I am assuming he's 80 or so. With the ciggy, I must say he's rather cool, but kinda sad looking. A little lonesome. Despite the many friendly neighbours, he remains solo most of the time. Unless the young grand daughter wants something from my neighbour's provision shop.

Just like him, the young grand-daughter is the silent type. She tugs him gently, and hand in hand, they walk over to get an ice cream cone or something. Once she gets what she wants, she skips off merrily, leaving the old man all by himself again. (Sui lui pau). I can see he dotted on this girl. He patiently waits while she plays at the swing or giggles with her friends. Never talking. Just waiting.

Sometimes we cross path. I smile at him. But he kinda stares back blankly at me. Very empty stares. I tell ya, if not for his only interaction with this grand-daughter, I'd suspect he is senile. But isn't that bitter sweet? That his eyes sparkles only for the girl. Otherwise, it's an empty vessel (with smoke).

I pity him for the lonely trips, accompanied only by the loyal red umbrella and Dunhill sticks. I feel sorry for the 3 sendiri kaotim meals. Then again, maybe he has found solace in that girl. Strangely and sadly comforting. Hmmm....An empty post full of oxymorons.

Black October

The Nation has dubbed it the Black October for the Kingdom of Thailand. With its current state of uncertainties and violence, I, albeit not a citizen, but nonetheless a resident, am left baffled and sadden, too. How not to feel sorrowful with pictures of people crying, or mourning on papers and in the internet? I suppose I can stop reading, but is ignorance a solution? Negative.

When I was 12, the TV played "We are the world, We are the children" fairly often. That kinda gave me hope about peace. I was kinda conned into thinking that things will be better; people will suffer less; it's gonna be a better place for you and me.

Bah! Fast forward 20 years ... things have not gone better. In fact, they have gone worse. People are meaner, more sadistic and unsubtly insane. I feel so cheated!

Or could it be, I have grown older, and wiser, and can see better? That everything is not sugar and spice, everything nice? That I was stupidly naive?

But why do I see things in gray now that I am supposedly wiser and possess better sight? What happened to good ole black or white, wrong or right? Why I can't decide if the doctors who refused to give treatments to those injured police, are heroes or ruthless scums?

Jaded indeed I am. If only WE ARE THE WORLD can un-jade me. No harm trying. I should watch the clip again and again until I believe once more that the world will be a better place for you and me. (I'm so rolling my eyes. Haha!) Meanwhile, bearers of good and peaceful news, bring 'em on here! Otherwise, you may join me in this karaoke session. (I'm singing Cyndi Lauper's part, don't fight with me)

I Must Remember

While I told Gooly to get ready for lunch, I spied at the corner of my eye, that he had carefully dragged a chair next to his, and mightily pulled down Papah's heavy bag pack. I served his Majesty his simple lunch of rice with chicken and potato.

"Here, Mahmee, sit near near to me," he patted the chair lightly.

"Thanks for saving me a seat, " I replied lamely.

"Oh wow.. thanks for cooking for me. You are a good 'cooker'. I love you, mamah."

It struck me that I LOVE YOU, MAMAH is very much a part of his daily speech.

When I cook, he comes, partly to be a busy body, but mainly to say I LOVE YOU, MAMAH. Sometimes the oil splatters, and I don't reciprocate. I just holler, "Go .. go.. hot! Hot!"

When I tell him a funny story, he laughs. When he is done laughing, he says, I LOVE YOU, MAMAH. Sometimes I am too tired to say, "I love you too." I just smile and hope he understands.

When I wipe his puke on a bad coughing day, he says, "I'm sorry. Thanks for cleaning up. I LOVE YOU, MAMAH." Sometimes I am offended by the foul smell that all I can manage is, "Go back to sleep."

You see, I LOVE YOU, MAMAH serves like a punctuation for him. His speech is not complete without these words. I wonder if he is making up for the lost time in which he was a baby, and he couldn't tell me how much he loved me then? I shudder in fear to think he might be saying all the I LOVE YOUs now for he won't say them next time.

While watching him gobble up his rice heartily, I wondered if on an occasion where he drove me crazily angry, and I tied him up on a cactus and put him under the sun, would he walk in and say, "I LOVE YOU, MAMAH" after that?

I bet he would. His love is that great.

Now for the numerous time I'd forgotten, or had been too tired, too lazy, too angry to say it;

SON, I LOVE YOU TOO!

Love Thy Neighbour

If I were to name one thing that I like staying here in Bangkok, it will be my neighbour. Yep, the same one who wonders why I have loads of undies on a wet morning.

She was selling beef noodles across the road and we were one of the regulars. But for unknown reasons, she had to close down the stall. Maybe she did tell me the reasons, and as usual, I thought she was accusing me of wearing too many undies on one day. :P

Rest assured she is the kindest people I have ever met. On many occasions when I was on the way to kaikai, she has told me to leave my laundry out, instead of pulling them into the porch. "Mai pen rai, " she says. Never mind, she will pull them in if it rains. Yeah.. I live in an area, where we can leave gates unlocked.

Because my gate is unlocked, she saunters in and turns off the porch lights when I forget to do so. And because her gate is also not locked, Gooly and I amble over to feed her rabbit, as often as we want.



After she closed down her beef noodles stall, she started selling fish-ball noodles right in front of her porch. Talk about convenience. We just cross over for sen mee, sen lik and watnots whenever Mahmee is too lazy to cook we feel hungry.


Gooly savaging the noodles.Slurp slurp!






This is Mahmee's Special Tomyum. Got karliew one... It could be my imagination, but it seems like we get extra service when-ever we 'pongchan' her. There are always extra fish balls for Gooly, extra noodles for Papah, and extra liew for me. And she will bring out the electric fan and plunk it in front of Gooly while saying, "Poor boy.. so hot.. here here..wind is blowing."

Not to forget the few times she saved my ass when I had visitors, and I just didn't know what to cook to feed them. So I'd asked her help, and she cooked up a feast with a minimal fee, while I pretended that I was the reigning chef.

Though she hardly understands what Gooly tells her, she always looks interested in what he has to say. She smiles, and nods and apologizes that she cannot understand. Sometimes she says words in Thai slowly so that Gooly will learn.

"Plaaaa - feet," she attempted. What she meant to say was, 'fish'. But mai pen rai. Never mind, her gestures and kindness have captured my heart.

When you have neighbours like mine, it's not hard to love them.

Bedtime 'oath'

Feeling 'hiao hiao' yesterday, I decided to bunk in with Gooly. To add more drama to it, I lamented, "Mahmee is lonely, so Mahmee will sleep with you today, ok.." He was a bit shocked, but welcome the idea nonetheless. He moved aside while comforted me with, "It's ok Mahmee.. I am here." Oooh.. Mahmee likes being the baby once a while. ;)

It was a single bed and with my huge asset (or should i just say ASS? :P), it naturally became a bit squeezy. He tossed and turned and tossed again. His restlessness prompted me to ask, "Hey, you comfortable? Should I go back to my own bed?"

He moved further till he was at the edge of the bed. "It's ok, Mahmee. Here.. give you more space. You comfortable or not?'

*swoons* How does a 3.8 year old love so 'adultly'? Not that I am complaining.

And then he recited his daily proclamation of love to his Mahmee. Mind you, this session is a darn serious one, ok? It's as though we are taking a solemn oath in court . "Repeat after me.. bla. bla. bla. the truth, noting but the truth " kinda oath.

I love you, Mahmee. (I love you too, son.)




See you tomorrow. (Yes, see you tommorrow.)




Good nite, Mahmee. (Go to sleep.)




I said good nite, Mahmee. (Ok, good nite, son. GO TO SLEEP!)

Usually it ends right there. But, maybe because of the coziness yesterday, he continued softly;

I really really really love you, Mahmee. I really do...*yawn*

His voice trailed off, and he fell into a deep sleep. It was all silent except for the soothing sound of his breaths. In the darkness and silence, I feel blessed to have the chance to love, and be loved in return.

I really really really feel that way, son. I really do... *yawn*

Work Sh*ts

While browsing at the bookstore yesterday, we saw this 300 over pages worksh*ts selling at 265Baht. I seriously think that they have tagged the price wrongly , considering that it is an imported book, all the way from Uncle Sam's home.





And so we busied ourselves with the extra-curriculum activity. It's extra cos our main activity is sleep and eat. Surprisingly, Gooly is gung-ho about completing the whole book, while Mahmee says, "Relax-lah.. I'm expecting this 265 Baht spent to last a least a few months." But he was a serious worker.. pages and pages of sh*ts he finished. And it was fast too. I was expecting, "I'm tired.. It's too hard.." but these words didn't come. Sigh, looks like he is not like Mahmee after all (which is a good thing, ain't it? But I still wanna be a sour grape :P)

But really, he was taking these work sh*ts rather seriously. He vehemently savaged the numbers and alphabet. At 10pm, I threw in the white towel and announced, "Let's call it a day." He shut the book and sighed melancholically, "Office is closed." Warao! So serious one? :P

While marveling at the commitment of this unpaid 'worker', it was also puzzling to see the way he 'works'. Oh well, it started off with some colouring, writing, connecting the dots.. It was smooth sailing until... he 'connected his own dots' in his wee teeny tiny brain. Haha!

"This picture is wrong.. The octopus should have 8 tentacles, not 6.." *sweat sweat* Ok ok.. Mahmee drew extra two tentacles to make it anatomically correct. (side note: I wiki-ed and apparently some octopuses do have 6 ARMS, not tentacles :P)

The next task was to 'circle' the right answers. Considering that the pictures drawn were slightly elongated, he wondered aloud if the instruction should read, "OVAL the right answers."

And then, we proceeded with caution. On the next page, it instructs us to circle (or OVAL) the things that we can touch. The kitten, the book, the bar of soap he circled (OVALED). The shoe, the sun, the moon he didn't.

"What about the shoe?" I investigated.

"Cannot touch cos it's dirty.." he reasoned.

"Aiya.. it's brand new. It looks clean."

"Oh, ok.." Big big circle (or should I say oval) entailed.

Tsk! Who will be so free to bluff explain like that when he is in school?