The stork delivers the baby!

Long time ago, Gooly wondered where do babies come from. I told him from the shin, of course. Kakakakakkakakaa! Kidding.... But that has gotta be the most ridiculous non-sex tale my friend's mom told her....

...when she was 12! Can you freaking belief it? How do babies fit into a shin? Then again, how does a baby fit into the Virginia Valley, the kids would wonder. So shin vagina shin vagina - *shrug* no diff!

Me being a Science student *ahem* of course told him about the sperm and egg, omitting the frolicking parts and then fast forward to nine months later. He was ok with the answer until recently.....

"How do papah's sperms go into your stomach?"

Jeng jeng jeng.






Jeng jeng jeng.







Jeng jeng jeng.

How-lah? So far my answer has been, "Look over there! A spaceship!"

I don't think this tactic can work till he is 8! Gah!

Me thinks he is a very analytical .. Did I say anal? Yes I did.. ANALytical boy. It makes sense, doesn't it? To wonder about the steps. He is clever to suspect that I have been short-changing him some important information.

So, what did your parents tell you?

a.The stork delivers you?
b. They found you in the dustbin?
c. You ask one more time, I slap you with the slipper?

or the cleverest...

d. Look over there! A spaceship!

Goolymama got a pat yo...

This afternoon while having lunch, an elderly couple came to sit with us. Being a magnet for old folks, Gooly, as usual, got their attention and started discussing about Ben 10 characters (of all topics, Ben 10 isn't exactly his forte! C'mon, he could have impressed them with his knowledge of the Freudian Theory.)

The por-por was seriously very ill-informed of the latest trend. She doesn't know what/who is Ben 10. And was slightly aghast at the sight of the hideous monstrous looking characters that Ben could turn into. But she was polite enough not to tell me off for letting Gooly watch that cartoon.

Well, the fact is I don't cos we don't have Astro (is Ben 10 still showing? *shrug*).

She wondered then when she can catch the cartoon and on which channel. Only then I let the cat out of the bag - that Gooly knows about the characters through the coloring book which he was coloring, not through TV.

Oh, she was so pleased to hear that. (Maybe she muttered a silent 'thank god!" too.) She complimented me on my parenting skill (teehee! Little does she know about my infamous 'cactus' threat).

As she was leaving, she gave me a pat on the back and said, "You raised your child well."

Ahhh.... that was nice.

So I decided to pay forward some compliments. I saw a toddler, and told her mom, "He is so kewt!!!"

And I am still in the 'giving compliment' mood. Come see me, I'll throw in some nice pats on your back! ;)

Lesson he taught me

Gooly has a nice face shape, unlike mine. It's almost almond shaped, though he insists it's strawberry.

A while ago, I was cupping his face, complimenting on the nice shape. He said mine is kinda round like a ball. I said, yeah.. (without sounding too much like a sour grape.)

He then wondered if my face has always been round, if it were almond-shaped when I was younger. He asked to see my baby pictures.

"I was ugly...Blergh!" I lamented.

"Hey, don't say that!" he quickly replied.

"Oh, don't be offended. I was just talking about myself. Not you. I was ugly, I said," I clarified.

"No! Don't say that about yourself. I will not let anyone say that about you. I will not say that to you too," he quickly came to give me a hug.

I admit I was touched that he doesn't let anyone, myself included to criticize myself

. But then again, I was using the past tense. Doesn't he know I am and I feel beautiful now?

*cough cough*

Tadika Idol 2

So today was the day he went up on stage and recited 7 verses of Shakespear's poem.

*pbbbbbbth blow into white hanky* I was so proud. *dab dab tears* My boy was meant/born to be an IDOL!!!

Kidding... not so drama, ok?

To tell the truth, I was rather panicky cos during rehearsal sessions with me, he was always goofing around, mumbling, reciting at bullet-train speed, scratching his butt and coughing a lot.

{Oh wait..before that. I forgot to mention that he didn't read a story after all cos I realized he could actually memorise a poem. But to be sure that 'blur and blank' moment doesn't happen, I made little clues for him on a paper just so he knew the verses in order. }

I brought an extra shirt for him to change but he didn't want to even though Iris was in a hippie dress, Angeline was in a princess gown, Ben was in a cowboy suit and another boy in a duck suit. Yes.. you heard me rite.. A bright yellow duck costume [though his performance has got nothing to do with poultry of any sort. Hmm...very peculiar indeed.]

So he wasn't vain (like me) after all.

We were all very anxious - me, papah and nanai . Yes! The whole house went as cheerleaders. I kept looking at him, and he kept giving me the 'thumbs-up' sign. He was pretty 'smooth' for his inaugural solo performance, I must say.

Most of them sang ( the 'duck' too), some recited poems, one played the keyboard and a few danced.. and soon it was Gooly's turn to go stage. [Say, I didn't know I could actually hold my breath for so long! ]

He took confident strides on the stage. Grabbed the mike and started his recitatation in clear crsip voice. He stood tall, head held high, arms at his sides (no butt scratching, thank god!). At one point, he forgot the next verse. I mouthed the word 'hawk' (the keyword for that particular verse) and he went on smoothly again.

Actually that was what I enjoyed most. Seeing the connection between moms and kids. We were there to give confidence. Just like Iris, whose mother went on stage to hold her hand to kick start her poem reading. And me, mouthing 'hawk' (and flapping arms) to help Gooly. I don't know about you, but I would definitely take leave from work (if i had a job) so not to miss moments as such.

At the sound of XIE XIE from Gooly and the thunderous claps from the audience, I heaved a breath of relief!

It's all over!! And it was my turn to give him two 'thumbs up'. Great job, Gooly!

I think it's cute and endearing how kids just go on stage and do their stuff. They were all having a gala time, not an ounce of fear or shyness was detected. I don't know how we adults end up as nervous wrecks! We should be just like them - having fun no matter what.

So, good job everyone! You kids totally rocked the stage today :)

(There are some pictures, anyone want to see them? The 'duck'..? Anyone? )

Tadika Idol Part One here.

Gooly bossy

"Everyone! Pick an instrument. Take turns. You take the guitar. You, the xylophone. You first, then you...then me. Ok, everybody? Ready? NO!! Not like that....! Like this.....!"

" Ok, first you shuffle the cards. Put them down. Turn away. Give me one. NO! The other one. Ok, now you fold the card. Count them. The one with the most cards wins the game."

On both occasions, Gooly was giving instructions to me and papah. He was obviously making up some non-sensical games.

Papah laughed heartily at his antics. The word PROUD was written all over his face. He likes that his son takes charge. It must be a male dominant trait that he feels important to impart unto his son.

Me? I don't like the tone. I don't like his bossiness. The whole scenerios were not very BARNEYish.

I don't know if he is the same when he plays with his peers. I do notice that he is always taking up the role of implementing rules or creating games (even though they don't quite make sense).

And that could be the reason he doesn't enjoy parties much - because the clowns are always the one facilitating. He doesn't like that.. He wants to be the one calling the shots. The few parties we attended, he did join in the games albeit with a 'ok-lah, whatever-lah, I will join in-lah" face.

So, leadership qualities or bossiness? I will tell you in 20 years time.

Shameless

"Mmmm... Yes. I love to hear you say it. Say it one more time.. Yes..Yes..Yes.."

Sounds like a scene from a 'pawn' but really it isn't. You know how the sexperts say we ladies should not be ashamed to tell our partners what we like when we are sexercising? Why can't we do the same thing for other stuff besides shex? I mean like if we want them to say we are pretty/beautiful, we should just copy and paste the idea of the above clause . In other words, why can't we just be SHAMELESS!

Hence the conversation* with papah yesterday:

Me: Do you think I look different?

Him: Huh? Huuuuh?

Me: *roll eyes* My hair! Look!

Him: Huh? *blink blink*

Me: It's longer now! Say it - "You look nice."

Him: You look nice.

Me: Explain why.

Him: *grinning* Cos it's straight.

Me: *whack him with pillow* It was never curly! What other nice things you can say?

Him: That day you look nice. At the airport.

Me: You noticed my eye make up? (obviously knows that he didn't but helping him out here a lil)

Him: Err... yeah.

Me: Ok, you may go now.

And he gave me a peck on the forehead.

If this is not love, I don't know what is.

Disclaimer: This is a bribed post because I got my Delightful already!!!!! Ok, him buying that when he seriously thinks I don't need so many bags is ULTIMATE love! :-)

* Please do not carry such conversations on the phone when he is having an important client meeting or when he is watching football. The ending will not be as nice.

Oily Mouth Gooly

When Gooly says:

My favourite meal in the whole wide world is Nainai's cooking. I love nainai's cooking the BEST!

What he really means is:

I don't fancy kopitiam with no air-cond, I'd rather stay home eat fried rice.

When Gooly says:

I miss Nainai. I want to go home now. She is so lonely at home.

What he really means is:

I don't like walking aimlessly in the mall with my mother. I just want to go home and watch Ultraman.

When Gooly says:

You are the prettiest mom I have ever seen in my life!

What he really means is:

You are the prettiest mom I have ever seen in my life!

Meet Gooly - the oily mouth, the suave talker, the heart-breaker.

Ok-lah, there are times that he says stuff which do not contain any embedded meanings. You know, saying stuff the literal way? Like the time he said, "Nai nai, you be careful ok?" as my mom alighted from the car.

And also, "Are you tired, Nai nai? If you are tired, you go take a rest, ok? You don't work so hard."

And who can forget, "Mom, you are the prettiest mom that I have ever seen in my life?" (He is so embarrassingly honest and truthful *roll left eye ball*)

Gooly is a quite a charmer, isn't he?

Ponteng

Every once a while, I allow Gooly to ponteng school (play truant).

.......................................

Yes, you may pick up your dropped jaw.

Obviously there isn't a verse in our agreement which says, "Unless you fall sick until you can't haul your ass off the bed, YOU ARE GOING TO SCHOOL."

So yeah.. yesterday he didn't feel like going to school because he felt oh-so-down because he didn't get to see his papah long enough because... (long story and not important!)

His mood perked up immediately when I said, "You want to stay home and watch Ultraman?" Seriously, this kind of mom (pointing at my chest) is a GEM!

Aiya.. I think no biggie-lah if he were to miss/skip classes. He won't get to do it when he joins the work force. He can't say, "I have no mood, I'm not going to work."

Plus, we all ponteng-ed while we were in school, didn't we? And I'd rather he tells me next time that he wants to ponteng rather than lying to me, and ends up at Tea Party at Picadilly Discotheque (which I went only when I was 16 years old.)

But still.....

I was rather embarrassed when the teacher asked, "Why were you not in school yesterday?" and he nonchalantly, cool-ly said, "No mood..."

Gah! I avoided eye contact with the teacher and stealthily sauntered out the classroom.

Would it have been better if he told a white lie - something like, "I shat in my pants on the way here..."

I know. I am contracting myself. As usual.

My Siamese Twin 2 and an award

Ok so I concluded that I really don't mind having Gooly as my Siamese twin. Reason being I enjoy having an extra gut his companionship.

1. He makes good conversations. Like this:

"Do you know you are the most prettiest mom that I ever know in my WHOLE life?"

Trying to impart modesty, I said, "No way! You are just saying that to make me buy you that toy happy.." *coy smile*

But he insisted. "It's true! You better trust me!"

I have no choice but to trust him. Tell me that isn't the best instant-mood-lifter conversation (and you will know how it is to have an "only-gum" smile).

2. He asks good questions. Like this:

"What do astronauts do in space?"

Yeah, seriously? Come to think about it they just float around and shoot pee the wrong way all year long! (Don't be offended, if you happen to be an astronaut, which I seriously doubt.)

"What can I be when I grow up - the important things to be? Architects.. Engineers.. Policemen... GOD..."

Whaa..waatt? Did he say GOD? Oh God!

3. He makes keen observations.

"The roofs on the houses are all different. Some are triangle.. semi circle...pointy...bla bla bla.."

All I have to do during his observation period is to give some acknowledgements i.e nodding my head, giving an audible sound such as uhaa...ahaa...mm..., smile sweetly and I get to indulge in chill-pill mode with the thought of - "I will be welcoming another 'baby' into my closet this Monday."

Ah .. such bliss it is to have a Siamese twin born 30 years apart.

Next!

Ha... presenting Kawaii award from Beskotkeras. Tima kashih... She wants to know why I am so cute.

Bluff la.. The question is what are my efforts to make the blog cheerful. Hmm.. buy more bags??

5 words that describe me : Right now, it's peckish, cold, shitty, nonsensical and cock-eyed. (Phew, luckily no explanation required!)

Ok, now I can distribute the award (I love distribution works) - to everyone but you (don't be silly, of course it's not you.. I mean the other you... you know? (-;)

Thank you! *takes a bow revealing cleavage*

My Siamese Twin

Yesterday, someone, good naturedly told me that Gooly may be a teensy weeny attached to me.

In my defence, I was like, "Woaahhht??? OF COURSE HE IS ATTACHED TO ME. WE ARE A TEAM - MOTHER AND SON TEAM!"

Ok, not so heatedly I spoke. But yeah.. something along the line which proclaims the right to our tight-knittedness.

However, when I was driving and then taking a dump, I was thinking, could it be true? That Gooly is my siamese twin?

1. Ok, I can't watch Sex and the City 2 with Mamapumpkin, even with weeks advance notice because he goes, "Where is mom?" every 5 seconds he doesn't see me.

2. Ok, he likes coming to the shop to 'accompany me' even though he just sits there and counts the ceiling panels.

3. Ok, he wants to call my yoga instructor to cut short the class because he 'misses me' so much - my one and only 1.5 hours weekly class sans him and he totally hates it.

Gah! He is my evil siamese twin!

But what the heck! I think it's good that he is close to me. And where I work, it's ok to bring children/pets/blog/, so what's the problem?

Unless he is 10....and still wanting to be with me 24/7.

I have *calculate with my 11 fingers* 5 more years till I REALLY GOTTA HAFTA worry about the term "mommy's boy".

PS: I think by nature, kids are close to the moms or dads, but because we have maids and nannys and grandparents and nintendos, we tend to think that kids should/can live just as good with the 'substitutes'. Given a choice,seriously, MOMS will always top the chart for 'who do you want to hang out with?' (again applicable only for homo sapiens 9 years and below).

Medical Apparels

E.R, Nip Tuck, Grey's Anatomy.

Yup, today's topic is America's Hospital Tv Series. To be frank, I have never watched E.R much. Nope..not when everyone was going gaga over George Clooney and Nip Tuck was too scary.

But... Grey's Anatomy. Ho ho ho..... That's my kinda show. I cried buckets over many episodes, and yelled at Meredith many a times over her indeciveness.

And I gotta say all of the male doctors (except for O'Malley) look smashing in their white lab coats - extra sexy with the stetoscope around their neck, if I may add. (teehee!).

See what I mean....


Picture source: here



Last year, I went to the hospital quite a lot with my mom. As you know with all government hospitals, there are two things to do while waiting for your turn:

1. sleep until a patch of saliva is seen on your shirt

2. ogle Look at the docs in white lab coats and nurses in their cheap scrubs uniforms (depends on your preference, really)

I always pick no. 2 because not only I drool while sleeping IN PUBLIC, I happen to snore too.

So while looking, I wonder, why do medical doctors wear their labcoats every where? Like to the toilet, to the cafe and if you are around the hospital vicinity, you see them crossing the streets in their labcoats too. Is it some kind of prized procession? Like, "Hey look at me, I am a doctor!"

Or could it be..when there is an emergency, and they could just shove in and say,"I am a doctor!" without showing any identifications because durh.. the white coats are a license to operate.

Hmm.. I don't know. It bugs me cos I think it's icky to be saving lives wearing a labcoat that has been worn everywhere, including and especially the toilet.

And also! I have noticed that some (not all) of the coats are not sparkly white! Well, yeah.. if you are clumsy like me, coffee are sure to splutter on those coats (if you wear them while drinking coffee.) See? You shouldn't be wearing those coats everywhere!

That's why they are all (ok ok, not all but SOME) dirty and scruffy looking... Yeww... They should really order new ones at http://www.nursinguniforms.net/.

Gooly lansi

I was telling Gooly that I will be going out for dinner with a bunch of friends the other day (sometime last month)

"Do you want to come along?" I always ask him that, to make him think AS IF he has a choice.

Eh.. wait, actually now he does. He can choose to stay home with nai nai. Before this, there wasn't an option (for him and me) cos he'd irk the crap out of my ahbu before I even reached the first traffic light. Now, abandoning him for a coupla hours is no problemo.

So..

"Do you want to come along?" I asked.

"A bunch? How many is a bunch?" he queried. Geez! Looks like it's not going to be a simple 'yes-no' answer from him. He gotta ask all the relevant questions before he decides, right?

Durh...

"7 or eight... I'm not sure," I tried to answer without a seething voice.

"Have I met them before?"

(Gawd!!! Gah!!!! Can I strangle you??! )

"Uhm...not all," I groaned, hoping he didn't notice.

"If they all want to talk to me at the same time, I can't answer all you know..." he prattled on.

Amboi! Perasan-nyer!

Whatever-lah. So are you going or not?

"NO!.."

And today I realised that there was a birthday invite tucked in his school bag. An inaugural invitation. Gooly has never been invited to any school-friend's party before. So I called Sean's mom and confirmed our attendance.

Mana tau... That Gooly said, "I am not going.."

But why not???? (nearly added, "Do you know I have always wanted to go birthday parties at MC D and nobody, I repeat...NOBODY ever invited me?? Do you know how lucky you are??)

..which Gooly calmly responded, "You didn't ask me first?"

Grrrrr........!!!

Gooly is very lansi, I tell you.