I was looking through the old videos of Gooly. I got all mushy, of course. He was a very very cute boy.
I forgot he had such long hair. I didnt remember he spoke with an accent (of what, I dont know.)
I heard my own voice, speaking gently to him, laughing many times at his antics. Above all, we always seem to have such fun, whether it was at home, at the park, at the beach (which we frequented).
In retrospect, he seemed very smart for his toddler age.
We were happy. Not to say that we arent now..but we are just caught up with stuff; me with Lolly, him with school.
Maybe I am a better mom for a baby or toddler. I love silly things. I am child-like, to say the least. And now that he's grown a bit, there are things that I cant relate to..
..like Naruto. I used to watch Kipper and Pocoyo with him. I''m just not into super power kungfu manga (I dont even know what is Naruto about). So he has to watch it alone.
... like guns and snippers and sword games, I just dont make very good sound effects- kapiew...pooosh..pow...kaching.... whats so fun about that?
I know I am more impatient with you now. I get irked when your hand writing is intelligible. I get offended with the way you talk. Not
always..but yes..you know I do.. when I give you the 'eye' or silent treatment.
But that doesnt mean I stopped loving you.
I never did. I can never fall out of love with you.
You are my first born.Forgive me if I dont know how to be a mom to a growing child, a boy at that. I' m not going to pretend that I like what you like. And I will not force you to enjoy my activities. Thus, I think, you may not find me suited to be your best friend, anymore. It scares me a little to think about later stages..when you are a teenager..and then a man. Will the gap be even wider?
They say thats growing up...growing apart..
An inevitable yet crucial event in both our lives.
Just remember I will never stop loving you.
For I know, I'm not perfect.