Sweet chat

lolly has been awake for a few good hours. Everyone was geting tired, except her. Her bro changed into his jammies, climbed up his bunk bed, ready to call it a night.

Meanwhile, I hit the showers - couldnt stand the icky sticky feeling and Lolly's piercing sound. She wasn't crying. She was just making alot of demanding sounds as per norm. i could still hear her complains as the water hit my head. i chose to ignore her.

And then I heard her sweet bro super layaning her, as usual :

What is it, mei mei?

Mommy is taking her bath.

You miss papah, ah?

And then i heard him climbing down. Mind you, its a tedious task - this climbing business. But he did that to pacify his sister. And soon I heard her chuckling away.

As i stepped out of the bathroom, Gooly asked in a weary tone, "Yawn...can you watch after her now? I'm sleepy."

And he bade us good night.

Such a sweey child.

Lolly too, if only she would stop making so much noise. And go to sleep.

LIKE NOW!!

Just look at her!

The only homo sapien I know who wakes at 4-am flashing her mega-watt-full-of-gums-and-spits-sans-teeth smile!

picture taken not at 4 am though. But if it was, I am pretty sure its the same charming smile she flashes at any given time.

Gotta love her.

Secret codes

In life, many things, I feel, can be solved with good communication. Be it between spouses, friends, collegues or families.

Gooly and I talk, a lot. I would think we communucate well. To an extend sometimes with no words spoken, we know what we feel or think about certain things.

Like when he does something pleasant, he'd turn around knowing i am there to give him an appreciative smile. Likewise when he sees my frown, he'd know not to push the envelope anymore.

Sometime back I had noticed that he spoke in a smart-ass tone, kinda like mr know-it-all. Of course, I taught him the importance of being humble. At 6, it's kinda hard for him to comprehend the whole works of toning down. Hence, we deviced a code - something that will tell him to drop the tone without having to embarass him (by admonishing him) in front of others. I said, everytime I give a shake of my head, or when I put my finger on my lips, or when I squeeze his shoulder, it is an indication to shush it - PRONTO.

But above all, the best communication between us would be the smiles. Amidst many people, say at a party, we always exchange smiles - the universal way of telling "we are doing ok."

In a way, these smiles transpire love too, dont you think?

Now that he is older..

I was looking through the old videos of Gooly. I got all mushy, of course. He was a very very cute boy.

I forgot he had such long hair. I didnt remember he spoke with an accent (of what, I dont know.)

I heard my own voice, speaking gently to him, laughing many times at his antics. Above all, we always seem to have such fun, whether it was at home, at the park, at the beach (which we frequented).

In retrospect, he seemed very smart for his toddler age.

We were happy. Not to say that we arent now..but we are just caught up with stuff; me with Lolly, him with school.

Maybe I am a better mom for a baby or toddler. I love silly things. I am child-like, to say the least. And now that he's grown a bit, there are things that I cant relate to..

..like Naruto. I used to watch Kipper and Pocoyo with him. I''m just not into super power kungfu manga (I dont even know what is Naruto about). So he has to watch it alone.

... like guns and snippers and sword games, I just dont make very good sound effects- kapiew...pooosh..pow...kaching.... whats so fun about that?

Sigh..

Gooly,

I know I am more impatient with you now. I get irked when your hand writing is intelligible. I get offended with the way you talk. Not
always..but yes..you know I do.. when I give you the 'eye' or silent treatment.

But that doesnt mean I stopped loving you.

I never did. I can never fall out of love with you.

You are my first born.Forgive me if I dont know how to be a mom to a growing child, a boy at that. I' m not going to pretend that I like what you like. And I will not force you to enjoy my activities. Thus, I think, you may not find me suited to be your best friend, anymore. It scares me a little to think about later stages..when you are a teenager..and then a man. Will the gap be even wider?

They say thats growing up...growing apart..

An inevitable yet crucial event in both our lives.

Just remember I will never stop loving you.

Will you?

For I know, I'm not perfect.

Zzz

Sometimes words cannot express a certain moment.

More so when the moment lasts just a few seconds.

But I need to remember that few seconds, because they are worthy.

I want to remember...

..that she was getting ready to sleep. Eyes were shut, fingers (three) in her mouth. She fussed a little, wanting more milk, I reckoned. But I decided to sing, instead.

ABCD..

..at the note of D, a smile crept in. Eyes still closed, fingers wet in her mouth. And she smiled her watermelon smile, liking my tune, loving my voice.

I couldnt resist but nuzzled her face. Cheek to cheek, I took a strong whiff of her. Her eyes were still not opened. And she let out a chuckle. With her fingers in her mouth.

She is too cute, I tell ya.

She finally decided to open her eyes. And she reached out to me. Stroke my cheeks, gently albeit wet. She murmured. I dont know what she said, but it was tender.

I keep falling in love with her again and again. If i think I loved her 100% today, I will find that I love her more the next day.

Thats a few seconds moment that needs to be recorded, dont you think? Alas, this writing, though doesnt quite reflect the moment exactly the special way it happened, will suffice.

When to shut the gap

The other day, Gooly spent half a day at a friend's place. Bless her, she already has 3 kids, and is still willing to take Gooly in (yep, its a refugee camp there!)

As usual, that night we have a post mortem session. Ya, we do that all the time, checking our kids' (mis)behaviours during our absence. Very often we just end up with one theory - that we are both crazy mothers anlysing every thing pertaining to their behaviors (including why do kids dig their nostrils and leave traces of evidence on the wall) but that's another story.

So that day, Gooly has commented something about my friend's child being a weak reader.

In my book of manners (yet to be published), that is an offence, under section 2/3A, that warrants a serious punishment - The Torture of The Long Winded Lecture.

To begin, I asked why he said that. Duh! Not like he had a reason, and also not like any reason can justify the uncalled for comment.

As expected, he gave me a blank look. And then he kinda, in a way explained that he was just saying it, not knowing that it may hurt his friend's feelings. A very typical characteristic of the xy chromosomes species.

So i asked, "How would you feel if someone say that about you?"

"But i read well. So its not true. So i will just ignore it."

*hyperventilates*

"Ok, what if somebody said you are fat?"

"I will just pretend I didnt hear it."

*burst a vessel*

"Ok, what if they teased that you are a slow runner?"

"But I AM slow! I just have to try harder!"

*pengsan*

Ok, granted..all his responses are what i have taught him - the art of having deaf ears.

But now what i really want to teach is how to shut the gap. So I explained about positive and negative remarks. How some words make one feel good, and how some are just uncalled for. And we practised a whole list of adjectives..

pretty - clap clap
fat - zip the mouth
clever - clap clap
lousy - zip the mouth

..and so forth.

Anyways, his friend was gracious enough not to feel offended. Kids are like that. They don't take offence easily. I wonder when they grow up to be grumpy and calculative and easily angered.

Ah...analyzing again, eh? Told you I am anal- crazy. Anal as in analyzing..

Hugs

I admit. I felt odd when Gooly asked for hugs.

It has happened a few times. Out of the blue, he'd say, "Mom, can I have a hug?" or "Mom, hug hug." as he opened his arms wide, awaiting me.

I wondered if he felt insecure or if he was feeling a bit low. I got a bit worried.

The first few times, while having him wrapped around me, I kinda waited for his confession. Of what, i dont know. Maybe something about a broken heart?

But that didnt happen. Everytime after a hug, he'd just walk away happy, smiling and sometimes a nonchalant "I love you, mom." is said.

I admit. That left me feeling strange. A bit like, did he just hug me like he'd kick a ball if he sees one? You know, ball - kick, mom - hug! You know... like he can't resist hugging me. You know..? You dont? Ok, fine..

Oh well..

I guess I didn't know hugs-for-no-reasons exist till now. I mean I hug my kids all the time, for no reasons, but I have never been requested for hugs before. You know, its like my hugs are good and the boy really loves them. *smilze* And I don't see many Asian 6/7 year olds, boys or girls, giving and getting hugs. For no reason.

Well, actually there is a reason.

Love. What else can it be but love?

Having said that, its not like he, or anyone, needs a reason for a hug. Just like kindness. And happiness. And durians (some would say chocolates and ice creams but they are meeeeh to me.) {I'd love to add bags, but I'm abstaining from material goods - a self imposed ban which I intend to adhere to for some time.} Bacically all the goodness in the world. We dont need any reasons for giving and receiving them

Now, thats a lesson from my boy.

Potato chips story

My dad keeps little packets of potato chips which he happily gives to Gooly when he asks for them.

Usually he brings two packets down; one for himself, one for me. I think he loves me and thus shares with me his loots, but I also believe that he is afraid that I take bigger share than I ought to, if there was only one packet. Mana cukup kan?

So today he whispered to me, like he was sharing a naughty idea, "How about we take TWO packets each?" I know he was feeling a bit paiseh to ask for more than the usual amount. i like little children to be slightly bashful and not ask for something in a manner which suggests that they totally deserve it. Therefore, I said okeh! He literally jumped with joy, all the way upstairs, to yeh yeh's room and back to where I was. Handed me two packets of chips with the shiniest eyes and widest grin.

He offered to rip open the packets, mine first. He's chivalrous like that. Together we munched the chips, exchanging smiles at every opportunity.

He then decided to savour his second pack for an after-dinner snack. I'm not doing that, I said as I tore open mine. I could see he was in such huge dilemma ; to follow suit or save the best for last - his eyes showed indecisiveness. As I pulled out the first piece from the wrapper, he swallowed his own saliva.

Being a good mom, I offered him a bite, which he took but it was such a puny bite that I bet he couldnt taste anything. This boy has great manners. So I said, "Take bigger bites!"

And he went, "No la...no la...no la...you won't have enough."

I had no choice but to insist with a louder "No la no la no la...enough la.."

We love doing that. The taichi food offering. Sometimes in public too.

Eventually he shyly took another bite, and then he walked away with his 2nd packet (I think to keep in a milo tin under the bed). He said, "But later I'm not sharing mine with you ok?"

Amboi! He said something like he didn't want mine at the first place but I insisted.

BUT!

Before i could glare, he had turned around, and added, "Do you mind?"

If i said i did, I know he would retract what he said and obligingly share with me.

Therefore, I said, "Sure, you can have all."

And he gave me another big smile,

We share our chips with such strong ardour, don't we?

surprise season 2

Told you! It ws gonna be my turn!

A new bag! Yay! The first one he bought without being told, bribed, threatened or scolded. The first one he bought on his sole proviso!

Love it!

Kate, Louis, say hello to your new sibling, Raya.. (actually that would be Raya version 7.8. I have tons of them, different colours and sizes, collected over the years of staying in Krungthep.)

My name

I have tried not to tell many people about what I'm gonna tell you because I'm not vain like that. A little, but not too much. But here goes..

A few months ago, a good buddy decided to name his baby after me. Ok, probably it wasn't like naming her after me like I am famous or like I saved the world..or 'in honor' kinda sentiment, you know what I mean? Maybe the father just likes my name because it's easy to remember.

But I think I must have been a good person, or at least not a dislikable being, to have a baby named after me. (ok, I gotta stop saying this, cos for all I know, the father thinks anyone can be named that name, and the choice has nothing to do with my charming *cough* character.)

But really......if I were really an ugly *toot* you wouldn't want your child to bear the same name as me, would you? Like I wouldn't name my daughter Paris, right? Or Godzilla.

Funny that I didn't ask him why he chose my name. I just merely proclaimed "what an honor" and of course, "a great name, that is" followed by a non-cleavage bearing bow when he announced that hereinafter his baby and I shall bear a common name (one of my charming stunts *cough*). Hmm...or did he ask permission first? Hmmm......

Anyways, whenever he mentions my..her...our name, I get all toasty warmy inside. Like (in a gushy voice), "That's our name..hehehhehe."

So that's one thing off my bucket list - having someone named after me (sorry! It sounds so cool that I cannot not say it again and again!) Yay! Next, have a stretch of road (preferably 3.25 km long and in Tibet) named after me.

Also, a baby sharing a common but not entirely common name...gotta love her. ;)

P.s My name is NOT Earl. Lol.

surprise!

For daddy's girl..

If you asked me, he has quite good taste. And if you know him, you'd be so shocked that he actually bought the stuff for his girl. He never...never...never....liked shopping. Not window shopping, not bargain hunting..and especially girlie shopping. These are all bored to death activities for him.

So...well...well...well....anything for his girl , eh?

I'm hopeful it will be my turn soon...no no..I don't need help with overcoming shopping-phobia. I want a surprise ward-robe too!

Dare to discipline

Many times when a child misbehaves, I hear the parent says :

- oh she's tired.
- oh she's not feeling well
- oh she's cranky
- oh she's the middle child
- oh she just had a baby sibling
- oh she's hungry
- oh she's young still
- oh her pet turtle just died

...and whatever other 'ohs' they can think of. And voila, all the tantrums or rudeness are justified.

*hyperventilates*

Ok let me say this slowly and carefully.

Is.....your....child....a ...baby....? (ok, shit..this is clearly not working. My brain works like a bullet train. And I have a cute bum to wipe (not mine). Chop! Chop! Let's get this over quick!)

Ok, here's my thought. When your child is old enough to verbalise, she can LEARN to tell you her problems without crying or whining. Deal with the tiredness, sleepiness, hunger or whatever that's bugging her with a SOLUTION, not with another problem (crying wastes more energy and make you even more tired lor, duh!).

The other day, I met a girl who's rather aggressive. She shoved another kid for the chair she "reeeeeaaaalllly" wanted because it matched with her blue blouse. *roll eyes*. (Oh, she's wearing blue, that's why she pushed the boy cos she's wearing blue. See what I mean?Am I the only thinking how absurd this sounds. FYI, I repeated the "reason" on purpose to see if it makes better sense. Nope, it still doesn't!) Another time she scolded the maid because oh, that's what maids are for (ok, I made this up :p).

And then the parent proudly concluded, "My girl won't be bullied. She's tough." Well, here's news, mama - she is the one bullying! Stop giving her excuses to behave like crap. No, let me rephrase...stop giving her the license to ill treat others. She was never bullied before, and there isn't a need for this aggressive behavior to protect herself. If we all behaved in a civilized manner, we don't need these haughty shields, really.

And isnt it tiring to bring up a child in a hostile manner. The world is quite a beauty if you believe so. Vice versa, it's hell if that's what you think it is. (if it is the latter to you, why choose to bring a baby to this earth, eh? *puzzled*)

Some parents are in denial..some are protective. Some even say it's love, thus allowing this ..uhm..freedom to uhm...express themselves *cough* Well, there is a gargantuan difference between liberation and rudeness.

If you really love your child, dare to discipline. Next chapter, how to discipline......jeng jeng jeng...(kakaka....as if I know)