My siblings and I

Drink hot coffee
Drink hot tea
Burn your lips
And remember me

Do you remember that poetry? If you were an 80s kid, I bet on my last dollah that someone wrote those lines in your standard 6 autograph book, along with 'forget me not' and other hopeful messages.

On some quiet afternoons, sipping my usual cup of 3 in 1 Nescafe, I don't burn my lips but do remember certain things and people. Of late, I have been thinking about my siblings.

There are 5 of us; 3 boys, 2 girls. Below are snippets of memories I have of them. Snippets.. they are like a 5 second film-reel playing over and over again. Sometimes I close my eyes, hoping to remember more, the before and after, perhaps..

My eldest brother was born 7 years earlier. So while I was eager to play 'masak-masak', he was already at a stage where he copied Duran Duran's awful fashion sense. And that also means, we were the least close. There were (and are) not many conversations. But one particular event stuck in my head. We were then staying in this huge bungalow where my Ah Ma, Ah Ku, Ah Kim, cousins and us stay under one roof. On my fifth birthday, this brother has climbed over the gate to cross over to the Indian Everything-Also-Got shop to buy me a yellow squeaky ducky. And for reasons unknown, he lost his nerve, and couldn't climb back in. My Ah Ma was a rather strict and grumpy old woman, who thought he was being naughty for going out without permission, and decided he ought to be punished. And so he stood out in the sun for hours? Minutes? I don't know because I didn't tell the time then. Yeah.. I look at rubber duckies differently now, with a pinch of guilt and a whiff of nostalgia.

My sis and I are the closest, but not when we were younger though. We shared a room, and she couldn't stand my snoring. At one stage, I was totally freaked out by the noise of airplanes flying by at night. I don't know how I related those sounds to Hantu Kum Kum coming to get me, but I would get really terrified and cry. And she would wake and hold, and pat my hand until I drift off to sleep again. The more recent bed encounter was when I was pregnant with Gooly. We were goofing on my bed, using a measuring tape and measured every parts of our body; the boobs, the ass, the fingers, the nose, the nostrils, the eyes.. and laughed ourselves silly until Papah James came back and we composed ourselves. Now we remain composed as we are both mothers who behave like all mothers do. Most unfortunately. :(

My 2nd bro is the smartest. He learns everything on his own. He plays the guitar, the keyboard without any lessons. Because he is so smart, he expects everyone to be too. Oh well, maybe not expect.. but I feel that way because of one thing he said to me, "C'mon, you must be more singmuk!' I was probably 10 then, and with those words, I am observant, vigilant and of course, singmuk today. There is a softer side of him, in which he walked 30 minutes to Fajar Supermarket to buy a 36-pieces colour pencil set in the rain for my 10th birthday, and fell into the monsoon drain, and broke an arm, and had to be in a cast for weeks. I hope I didn't say, "Taisei, veli good." Hahah.. I know I would now. But I was thoroughly touched, though slightly disappointed that he has chosen a box with a sports car image, and not the one with pretty flowers and beautiful butterflies. Ewww... now I am glad he didn't.

Lastly, my memories of my 3rd brother. My sweet sweet brother.. the most thoughtful one. One event will etch in my heart for life. Because of my poor memory, I cannot recall the details. But on that fateful day, he took the cane for me. Koosh! Koosh! My Ah Pa didn't cane any of us, but him, because of me. It may or may not have been my fault, neither of us can remember. But as a sister, I felt and feel sad whenever flashes of the scene come to mind. And of late, I have images of the one time when he piggy-back ride me upstairs to sleep. I was in my green pyjamas. I had the coconut hairstyle. And I was not small. Strange how I remember such mundane details and forget the other important ones.

If I could, I would capture these moments and erm.. I don't know, put them on TV so that I can watch them over and over again? Ah well, writing them down is another way to remember. I do, sometimes catch myself staring out the window, squeezing my brain juice, trying hard to recall every little details of the past. I carefully then deposit them in the memory bank and double click the 'save' button. I want to remember.. :)