When a fish becomes feet..

Back home in Malaysia, it is not uncommon to find yourself caught in a conversation in English. You may be talking with the English professor from university or discussing something as mundane as what to bring for Letter- A day with the kindergarten teacher who likes to omit the letter 's' just so she could put it elsewhere where it is not needed. Both conversations could cause serious mental harm.

While you could pretend to understand the professor's much accented Cockney English with the occasional nod (try throwing in the "Really?" to be more convincing), the latter dialogue proves to be more, what can i say.. mind boggling/challenging. Throughout the entire 5 minutes exchange of words, your poor brain has to work hard to:
1. correct the so-called teacher's grammar (silently)
2. wonder if you have made the right choice sending your kid to this school
3. remember that "Next Tuesdays is Letters A day.. You can brings thing like apple or aprons" (One can only assume that the teacher thinks letter A should be pluralised, because there are the upper case and lower case A. Duh!)

It's challenging when you try not to laugh out loud, correct her grammar out loud and ask her to go back to school out loud. (More on this 'mai pen rai' - nevermind attitude in later posts)

Fast forward to life in Thailand. I devour everything written/spoken in English. Prior to owning a laptop which serves as the window to the world (cliched but true to its core), I read the Carrefour weekly catalogues and held monologues with gooly.

A weekly visit to the famous Chatujak does give me the opportunity to hear the language being spoken. Then again, we may as well consider it another language. Allow me to explain. You find a nice restaurant to have lunch, and you want to order fish. So, you wave the chap over and say, "fry fish" (don't bother saying Fried Fish to avoid confusion). "Fly feet?" he asks for confirmation. Don't worry, fish is what you will get.. and it shall be fried. : )

Then you proceed to shop. You will have a problem when you want an XL shirt and you don't know how it's done in Thailand. It's EK EL.. there is no XL. Don't bother asking for a discount when the lady tells you, "FAKE PLY" (fixed price). Turn to the next 'soi', a girl chants, "mani-q. pedi-q". Go ahead, get your manicure and pedicure done since they are cheap.

At present I am getting proficient in Thai English. When I wish, I wit. Thus, I wit I can have feet tomorrow. : )