Mai pen rai vs. Up to you

There are two phrases which haunt me in Thailand. Well, unless I choose to stay in solitude in the safe cocoon of my home. Otherwise mai pen rai and up to you are part of the daily conversations I have with the locals.

Thais have this 'tidak apa' or 'never mind' attitude when it comes to dealing with.. well, everything. Mai pen rai when used appropriately and mildly, brings warmth and sweetness. For example, when I told our somtum lady that I only had 20Baht, and solemnly promised to pay the additional 5Baht later, she smiled and said cheerfully, mai pen rai.

However mai pen rai when used loosely can reflect a really lackadaisical behavior. Say, Khun A has been waiting for Khun B for an hour. Khun B arrives and says, "Sorry." Mai pen rai is uttered. All is well. Fat hopes that Khun B will learn about punctuality.

When BBC reported about the military coup in 2006, people in other parts of the world showed concern and interest, except for the locals because "mai pen rai, we still have the King."

While mai pen rai is still acceptable, up to you is what makes my blood boil, from head to toe. To translate it loosely, it means 'whateva"- ghetto style. Say, you are not satisfied with the internet service in your area and you tell the customer service personnel that you have a complaint to make. Up to you, she (or he, one can't really be sure in Bangkok) will reply, as though double-daring you to do so.

I once read that a farang arrived at the Bangkok International Airport late at night. At the immigration counter, he was greeted by an octopus-like officer who took a photograph of the traveller, stamped his passport while yakking away on the mobile phone. Mai pen rai that she was rude and not ensuring that a paedophile doesn't enter the country. What was more appalling was the pleasant exchange afterward. Mr. Farang, oblivious to the cultures of the Land of Smiles (ya right..) proceeded by asking for the exit. Without looking up, hand and mouth still busy handling the mobile, Miss Octopus rudely gestured to the left impatiently and managed a 'duh, you are dumb" look. Mr Farang did not appreciate that and having not heard of mai pen rai before in his entire life, shot sarcastically, "Sorry that I have to interrupt you on your personal call while on duty."

"Up to you!" was the reply.

Welcome to Thailand. : )

(Note: Mai pen rai that she should used, "wateva" instead to make more sense)

Lastly, I have also learnt that when a customer wants to cancel an order worth 500000 Baht, the saleman will also say "up to you." Upon finding out about the cancellation, two things might happen: the boss says mai pen rai or he fires the salesman and gets the reply, up to you.

I should really start embracing Thai culture because it's really up to me that I survive in mai pen rai-land, without having to end up like dear old Miss Britney.

Hit me baby one more time!