The wheel that goes round and round

Nong Prem at the park is quite unusual. He is 3, a head shorter than Owen yet he cycles the neighbourhood alone. Never mind that the bicycle is missing one training wheel. He is quite capable of balancing the bike. If I could speak better Thai, I'd probably launch a dialogue with him about acrobats and circuses. After months of silent observation, I find him independent and smart. If he wanted something done, he'd not ask for help. He'd think of a way to do it, by hook or by crook. If the swing was too high for him to climb on, he'd lay his tummy on the swing, spreading his arms out as though they are wings of a bird or an aeroplane. If he fell from the bike, which is often, he shrugs and continues his journey. First I was impressed with his stamina and courage. Then I wondered, does anyone care about this kid? Is his dad in the army, training him to be some kind of fearless individual? Despite the tough exteriors (minus height), I noticed some sadness in his eyes.

Weeks ago, a new Prem emerged. A Prem who pees wherever he wants, whenever he wants. A Prem who yells when he is happy, sad, excited, tired, hungry. A Prem whose many kids begin to keep a distance. A Prem whose parents' worst nightmare has begun...

As a silent participant in an area buzzing with activities (due to my mono- sylabic Thai), I watch and observe the kids at the park. I suppose it's better than bird watching. Without digressing further, I note that when you are not too busy yakking, you see more. And I see Prem is acting obnoxious to get attention. Negative attention or otherwise, mai pen rai (never mind) as long as he gets some. As of now, parents have been reacting either with a stick to ward him off as though he is an irritating fly or they pretend not to see him. I beg to differ. I think he needs a simple, "are you ok?" when he falls. A daring hug when he cries. I have been thinking and have decided boldly to offer both when I see that he needs them.


I have faced many situations and heard many anecdotes where the chicken and egg analysis remains a mystery. My hypothesis pertaining to Prem is : bratty kid=attention seeker=bratty kid. My one million dollar question is does the poor chap lack attention and therefore he acts bratty OR he is bratty therefore he likes attention. Sigh! Either way, the characteristics form a vicious cycle. Just like the wheels on the bus, minus the happy tune, they turn round and round. Without intervention, they roll downhills, fast and out of control and then halt, a road pizza is in sight . He is a bright kid. What a waste it will be.