Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Diary of an intoxicated mom

On that day, I got one power jab on my spine, and my mind went, "Holy ow ow ow ow ow~~~~This is no fun.. I dun wanna ..I dun wanna.. I dun wanna.." and I started to retch my guts out. Uweek...uweek...uweek..... They had to use a bowl to hold my vomit of nothingness (actually I don't know what came out) cos I had fasted for a few good hours.

Before that, the nurses kept asking if I was wearing dentures. I was getting offended like they were insinuating my boobs were fake too. I dunno how I made the connection. And they cross-checked my identity a few times. "Are you Miss Jenniper Lopes?" I so wanted to say NO just to create havoc.

I was wheeled into the OT and all was swell again. I remember looking at those big alien spacecrafts lights above, and thought, "Oooh, preety..." and sang a tune of (in my mind-lah) "Close encounter of the Third Kind". I nodded at Dr. Doolittle, and his assistant, Dr. Grey - all looking clean and sterile with their scrubs and masks. (Sort jor!)

And then the jab and holy ow moment. And the not so graceful vomit episode.

In between, I was hoping that the doc could remove some fats too but that, much to my chagrin, didn't happen.

..and then she came along

..sang beautifully in her loud soprano cries.

..Looking all pink and gorgeous.

Little frowns were sighted at first - annoyed to be shifted from the cozy pouch of a mother's womb to a cold, unfamiliar place.. and then slowly, she turned those frowns upside down.. to perfect little smiles, which got all of us mesmerised.

There..My little girl. Born at 18.10hrs, weighing 2.98 kg. Babies do come in bundles, eh? A bundle of joy, she is. :)

P/s: Ohh.. And the moment she was..erm.."dug out", the doc brought her close to me and asked, "Boy or girl?". Same thing happened during Gooly's birth. This time, due to my bat eye-sight (pun intended) and also a non-batang-so-less-obvious sight before me, I wasn't sure.. I went, "Huh huh huh.. geez.. I dunno!" And the nurse said, "OK, will let you see again once we clean baby up." I was like, "Man... Don't tell me it's a boy. I have bought pink booties!" And the heart went duk-duk-duk like it was 2012. The second time they asked, I still was unsure..and went "Uhm..err.. why don't you tell me?"

Geesh! The hospital's policy is so weird and full of suspence! I thought they should just go, "Congrats, it's a boy! (or a girl!)" Makes things less...uhm.. err.. I dunno. Just stitch me up-lah, you quack!..and there better be two pretty bows at the ends of the looooong wound...


tuti said...

thank you for writing that up.
very intense. very precious moments before lolly popped!
felt like i was there, holding the vomit bowl too. oh i i hate retching moments.

tuti said...

er.. and the most precious, when lolly popped of course.
the vomit distraction is overwhelming.

Corsage@A Dollop Of Me said...

She looks so snug! :)

I have been told that it is possible to get a liposuction during a C-section procedure. Is that what you were referring to? But I think not all gynaes do it.

BoeyJoey said...

i love your birth story! (sorry to hear your uwek uwek part, but i was entertained overall :-P). i was just as drunk as you... was dozing off between my happy gas! if only i can get some happy gas now to destress! keekeke

Small Kucing said...

wakakakaka...laughing till half dead jor at the last part. Damn mine , i only saw the legs. How the hech i know girl or boy...half pengsan liao and without my x-ray eyes

Winn said...

Heard this before! Were you blogging mentally when we met you last wk?

goolypop said...

Tuti, when u seeme will u retch too?

Corsage, doubt my doc will do it. He said it's too bloody to even remove my fibroids. Too bloody - nvr expect to hear this fr a doc, eh?

Bjoey, did u sound like Donald duck with gas? :D

Sk, wah..maybe his batang long like legs? Lol.

Winn, I plagerised my own story! How?


Related Posts with Thumbnails