Confession of a driver

One of my favorite things to do, can you freaking believe, is going to school. Gooly's. The near distance probably makes the task less undesirable. I know some moms who literally have to walk across a football field or brave the horrendous traffic to ferry those lucky children. Thus the cussing of this ferrying chore for them.

Yes, I admit, to start the mechanical engine of my butt to get out of the house is often difficult (with silent malediction). But once I reach the school, my heart is quite fluffy with sunshiny feeling. I remember having to park the car, hold his hand, say goodbye a million times at the start of the school year. Then gradually, his independence grow. He would just get down on his own, very often looking a little bit clammy, back his shoulder to make sure I am still there giving him a last wave.

Now, he gets off, sometimes forgetting to say goodbye (till I have to honk to get a wave), and often being greeted by loud chorus of his name made by his friends. They drag the bags along side by side, always laughing, probably at some silly jokes like, "Your mom is so fat that I..."

I love watching him walking into school, all gown up..and most importantly, happy. I keep smiling and waving even though it is a little bit of bereavement that we will be separated 6 hours a day, unlike those days when we were joined at the hip 24/7.

I have my smile fixed too during after school pick ups. When the bell rings, the students always give a big shout, feeling jubilant, running away free from the "prison". Many times, I see the clumsy ones fall only to pick themselves up with a grin. I see happy faces. I see dirty ones (often belonging to boys). I see pretty girls with ponytails (and I imagine what it would be like for lolly).

I see Mandeel, the only non Chinese girl in Goolys class. She always greets me, either with a smile or a shy, "hello, auntie." Oh hi, dear child... I hope you are coping well. It's difficult to learn a whole new language, eh? Hang in there. It gets easier - I say these words but only with my own smile.

And then I see him.

Beaming, always happy to see me. In his hand, there is always something that he'd like to show me - stickers from friends, little notes, or a star from the teacher.

"How was school?" - the preamble to our after school conversation.

"Fine!" and we walk, hand in hand, sometimes crossing over to the ice cream man for a cone.

Along the way, there is always someone calling out his name (strangely that they are mainly girls) to say good bye.

I have a feeling my son is quite popular in school*.

;-)

* he probably tells the best "your momma so fat" jokes.

Lolly - the screaming banshee

Lolly, at 4 months old has, strangely developed a bourgeoning talent of opera singing.

At 3 am.

Oh my lard. It is quite painful to hear her screaming voice at such an ungodly hour. Then again, she is asleep, as much as 9 hours during daylight that I can almost understand that she wants to practice using her larynx when she is awake. Almost.

I really don't know what it is that she voices out (duh! But of course!) but they are often punctuated with smiles and laughter. And sometimes a brief silence, as though she awaits or expects a response from the audience of her poorly attended concert (me!)

During interims, she sucks her finger. Fore finger, to be exact. It's strange because the thumb is a popular choice amongst these suckers, no? Tut, tut, tut, she sucks, slobbering her chin with saliva. She sure makes it seem so tasty that I want to shove my own finger (or hers) into my mouth to see if it really warrants old Tuck Kee's motto of "finger licking good ."

Quiet moments do come by when she feels her throat hoarse (I'm sure she does!) and we lay side by side. Sometimes I smile first and she imitates me. And there are times that she initiates the smile. For sure upward lips are duplicated despite the odd hours.

I have adopted a ritual of tracing my finger around and around her ..well, round face (because there really isn't much to do at 3 am). I also gingerly trace her upside down Nike swoosh eyebrows, finally reaching her button nose with a tap tap tap. This silly game makes her happy. She scrunches her nose, and lets out an audible chuckle.

My silly nocturnal baby owl. If it's not for her cute face (and equally cute fingers) I'd have......

Nah! I wouldn't have done anything harsh. Even if it means losing sleep and having ear-aches.

That's how much mommy loves you, lolly.

4.50 am. Shall we sleep now, baby?

Amazing gooly?

The current arrangement for now, since my sis is 8 hours flight away from home, is to care for my nephew, Harry Potter a few hours during the weekdays, and full day on week ends. My hands are quite tied with lolly, and my mom needs to prepare lunches and dinners. That leaves..............Mr Gooly to be in charge of that fella!!

Usually they just cekik each other until either one muntah darah. But there are times when we can really see how a doting brother gooly can be.

Say, like...

Last Saturday,gooly volunteered to bathe Harry. Some 6 years olds have problems cleaning themselves, what more helping a younger chap, who comes with an attitude the size of the African map. He carefully instructed him to wash where it's hidden and obscure to a four year old. And then gingerly lathered his hair with shampoo, reminding him to shut his eyes.

All these I could hear. And I couldn't help feeling proud.

Later in the afternoon, ahma who like any other grandmas, being obsessed with poops and pees, wondered aloud if Harry has done his thang. Gooly nonchalantly said yes. "Are you sure? And how do you even know?" I asked.

"I helped him washed his butt."

Wow! While we were all busy doing one thing or another, I'm so glad that gooly is just as helpful.

One last "story" - Harry had wanted to pee while I was at the stall buying durians. Gooly brought him down from the car, headed to the longkang, armed with his tumbler.

"Yo! Why did you bring the tumbler down?" I was puzzled.

I then saw him pouring water onto Harry's hand, with very wise words of, "Wash you hands after peepee!"

Amazing kid, ain't he? He is so much more helpful and singmuk than my maid, whom, by the way we have fired with no regrets!

Oh ya... That reminds me..one other time, lolly was shouting so much (yeah, she shouts when she wants something, very seldom she cries.) she didn't want the bottle. Also refused to be carried. Which is really rare. What was it that she wanted? Aiyor!

"Mom, maybe you should change her diaper.."

Damn! He's right! I had forgotten to change her!

And so all was well once that was done. I grinned and let out a "phew" to gooly.

"Mom, next time just remember, it's either milk or diaper, ok?"

YES, SIR!

shaved!

mini me

What the heck. She didn't have much hair, to begin with. So I shaved it all.

And the "mini me' is not related to me. Can you guess who? *chuckles* but she is really the cuter version.

I love her mucho, with hair or without.

My doll, she is.

Sports day

Gooly's school was having its annual sports day event today. For weeks gooly contemplated on going or not. He was not chosen for any events. But he'd still like to go to watch. Initially he thought it was compulsory to go, but when I said it wasn't , he kinda fleet towards "stay home to play with his cuz" agenda.

On my part, there was a lot of "uhm....errr...are you sure you want to go?" because waking up early is not exactly my favorite thing to do. Of course, staying under the hot sun is not favorable as well. But the final card was still in his hands.

Finally he decided on going. So I dropped him off at school so early that i surprised my neighbour (cos they never see me until after noon. Bwahahaha). For making it on time and safely despite with eyes half shut, I do deserve a pat on my back, don't I? That aside, gooly was a bit apprehensive as he wasn't sure where to gather or assemble. But he just braved himself and climbed down the car.

Not long later, I received a call from a parent. According to her, gooly seemed kinda worried. Reason being, very little of his classmates showed up. Only a handful of those participating in events were present. In fact, I do think he was the ONLY non-participating member from his class. I asked if he wanna come home, he said, "no."

That parent was nice enough to accompany him (I keep meeting awesome people that I should really thank god!) So all was well.

I was thinking - NONE of the classmates were there. Sad ain't it? That parents don't care about non -academic activities. Or it could be children these days are all made of candles; they melt under the sun. So nonono...they ain't no going for a stupid sports event. (I didn't like the sun either, but lathered him with SPF 30- problem solved.)

And most importantly.......(read on)

Despite not knowing what to anticipate, and then finding out that NONE of his usual gang was there, gooly was adamant on being on location. I just had to ask why.

"I just wanted to support my friends who are running.."

Now that's what I call good spirits!! That's what's missing from many parents' values.

Yeah..so to those who went to the mall or slept in late or simply discouraged your child from going to school today, guess he/ she never got to learn about semangat muhibbah today eh? Then again, it was Gooly who taught me this valuable lesson today.

And what's more, watching those athletes run, hop, jump encouraged Gooly to fair better in sports. He would like to go again next year, as a participant.

Gooly, I will be there to support you then! 100% :)

Party in the car!

Today we -mom and I, out of boredom decided to take Lolly for a spin. First we had to pick Harry Potter,my loud-speaker nephew up from the nanny's. And then travelled forth to school to pick gooly up.

Five minutes before the school bell rang, Missy decided that she didn't like to be stuck in the car. Thus she cried. She cried and cried and cried.

And cried some more.

So I rushed down and hurried gooly with a very serious, "Quick, mei mei is in the car -CRYING!"

Sensing the urgency, he sped up.

Upon entering the car, we discovered that Lolly was still in a bawling mood. My mom has turned on her grand-motherly mode, trying to calm her down with an equally high decible chanting of " ola ola....sayang sayang...."

Meanwhile Harry Potter was re-enacting a Tom and Jerry dialogue (which we have heard a million times) on top of his lungs, totally oblivious about the crying baby.

So there.. We had a cacophony of sounds in a confined area.

"Waaaaaaaaah........ola ola sayang sayang.....and then Tom bang his head and Waaaaaaaaah.......ola ola sayang...."

Wooooooah.....what a party.

I contributed some noise too, of course - "Harry! Be quiet!!"

Now if you haven't noticed, the only person who was calm and collected was Gooly. At one point, he soothingly said, "Mei Mei, are you tired? It's ok. We are reaching soon. Then you can sleep in your sarong ok. Don't worry...."

I was palpitating at first. His calming words brought peace to my mind.

When the saga was over, he confided that he was hoping for an after school ice cream, but too bad his lil sis was in a cranky mood. "It's ok. We can have one next time when she's not crying," he added.

Wow! Everyday I thank God for such a darling in my life.

Otherwise can you imagine?

"Waaaahhhhh... Ola ola sayang.....Tom hit Jerry..bang....weeeeeek.....ola ola...."

AND....

"Mom, can I have an ice cream?"

Gah! I would have crashed the car into the longkang, I tell you!

Missing

Two years ago, just like any mother in the world with a motor mouth kid, I had wanted to cut the apron string.

I wanted him to be independent (read: wipe his own ass).

I was scared that he would turn up to be "mummy's boy."

Thus, I snipped snipped snipped the string away. A little by little. First by sending him to school.

I remember sending him to school, wanting so much that he'd just climb down the car on his own, instead of holding his hand, waving good bye a hundred times, and kissing him just as many times. Not that I hated it...it was just that there were times that I'd rather drive, drop, go.

You know what...my wish came true. I now drive, drop, go everyday. Not even a chance to kiss and hug. Heh, try that and the car behind will honk you for stalling the traffic queue for 3 seconds.

Anyways, I didn't care the other day. He had clambered down with his heavy bag. I honked. He turned around. I blew him a kiss.

He frowned a little. Put his hand on his hips, as if annoyed. And a smile crept in.

I wonder if he misses me as much as I do, him.

I miss doing stuff with him. Just the two of us.

But he doesn't wanna watch kungfu panda 2 with me. He doesn't want transformers 3 either. Neither does he want to jalan jalan aimlessly at the mall with me.

Is that what growing up, for a boy means?

Have I lost those kisses on the lips forever?

Where have all the silly banters gone?

I miss you, son. But if that's how boys grow to become men... I'll just have to let you go.