Friday, June 3, 2011

My milkshake

The other day, for conversation sake, I told someone (over the phone) that lolly's neck is already quite strong.

Guess what was her response?

"Must be your breast milk.."

Guess what was my response?

I rolled my eyes.

Yep, I did. They probably would have rolled out of the sockets if not for the muscles that kept them in place.

Ok she probably meant it as a compliment but citing my milk as the sole reason for my baby's development milestones (which could be a fact, according to the experts) is just way too much, for me.


Because one day, I may just wake up and decide not to "pump it"(sing BEP) anymore and I'd get blamed for many things. I'd be called a bad momma who had breasts for nothing!

But but why would you stop breastfeeding? (that's you sounding very 'concerned')

Because lazy?

Gah! Woah! WHAT? may pick up your jaw. They are, after all my breasts. I have the liberty to decide what to do with them. That includes not being sucked by Mr.Medela everyday - 5 times, mind you (6 when I'm in the mood). Whilst we are at it, I would really want my original boobs back. The non leaky ones, please.

But what if she loses her rosy cheeks once you stop supplying her breast milk, I hear you asking? Well, I'd buy her blusher. Bobby Brown. The best, I tell you!

What if her IQ drops to 92? (which is the Malaysians average score). Tough one. Looks like she can't be a rocket scientist then. Bummer!

What if her hair drops? (I'd ask Prince William if having little hair is an issue.)

Oh gee wait.. I think I know why Gooly scored 76 (only?) for his maths test. Oh no! Cos I didn't breast feed him!!

And his nose is kinda flat. Could it be because of the caesarean that I had instead of natural water birth?

What if..what if.. What if...could it be..could it be..could it be..Sigh!

Here's the thing..

While some of you are really martyr about this whole child birthing thing (No drugs! Torn vaginas!! Yay!) there are some of us who just don't aspire to be Joan of Arc (though I really like the pixie chic hairstyle she had in the movie)


Just to note. I love you, gooly and lolly. Even though I cut you guys out (hey, not entirely a bad thing. Julius Caeser was born that way too, according to some unlikely legend :P) and didn't supply breast milk for eternity (FYI, Harry Potter wasn't breastfed till he was 8 and yet he turned out to be the best wizard in story book history :P)

And the greatest example - moi! Wasn't breast fed either. And was probably picked up from the thrash can. And look how I turned out to be?

Yep! Completely insane!

*snorts n cackles*


tuti said...

argh. lemme hit that person with a saucepan for making you mad.

goolypop said...

Tuti, the saucepan got sauce or not? Hot scalding hot SOS.........

tuti said...

lol. no lah. cast iron vely heavy already. :P


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