This afternoon gooly got a good scolding from me. On the way to school. In the car. For at least 15 minutes. Yeap, I actually stopped the car to give him a full fledged lecture. Something about manners, I think. Gawd! I was so long winded, I myself had forgotten what superb speech I spewed. *wipe saliva*
Later in the evening, I asked if he enjoyed my scolding session. Sick humor I have, I know.
To my surprise, he answered YES!
Lucky for him that I was in a much better mood (with a durian ice cream cone in hand), I didn't continue with the sequel of The Scolding. I asked why instead.
"Because I turned off my ears.." he said, licking his chocolate cone.
Jaw dropping ensued. A slight grin emerged. Both from my face.
"How dare you!" I managed in between slurps of ice cream licking, and laughing.
"When you scold scold scold, I just switched off. Ding! (sound effect some more) Then when you asked me a question, I quickly turn back on, then I can answer. Ding!"
He's rather smooth, I must say. I didn't know he had zonked out if he had not told me.
And I admit that was kinda cool. So I asked if he could teach me the trick, something I can use when talking to certain people. Thus a crash course on Idiots Guide - How To Pretend You Are Listening When Your Mom Nags Like Forever.
Here's the thing, I'm sure he has learned his lesson (the one about manners). It's just that every mom has this nagging software installed making every damn lesson longer and more painful than necessary. Thank God boys (and possibly men) have this program called Selective Hearing to survive all the noise pollution.
But still, I did mumble about an old Chinese proverb about "giving birth to roast pork" at some point of his confession. Thus the title of this post. :p
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The 80s shop
Today we went to a shop which supposedly sells clothes from Korea and japan at very cheap prices. As usual, when there is a bargain to be found, it has to be hidden at some obscure places. We found it, nonetheless, climbed up a flight of stairs and to our disappointment saw clothes that befit Queen Elizabeth and well, maybe Anita Mui.
We giggled ourselves silly pointing out the gaudy purple dress with shoulder pads the size of my padded bra, which I assure you, ahem, is gargantuan. But we sensitively turned off our giggly mode when the old lady who runs the shop was nearby lest she be offended. She enthusiastically showed us around suggesting certain styles for us. My friend even politely obliged to try on a tweed skirt, which I must say will look kinda cute with argyle knee length socks. But only if you are 18. And stay in London.
We hung around a little longer cos we just didn't want to offend the sweet old lady. As we left, I even lied that I will tell my friends about her place. My friend chipped in that we'd love to stay longer to slowly browse through her stocks but not today. Another day, alright?
Some people call it vintage.
But sorry, it was just plain old fashion to us.
We went back into the car, and kicked our friend's ass for bringing us to such a fruitless place. It was a fun girls day out. Sans the kids. Just like the old times.
We giggled ourselves silly pointing out the gaudy purple dress with shoulder pads the size of my padded bra, which I assure you, ahem, is gargantuan. But we sensitively turned off our giggly mode when the old lady who runs the shop was nearby lest she be offended. She enthusiastically showed us around suggesting certain styles for us. My friend even politely obliged to try on a tweed skirt, which I must say will look kinda cute with argyle knee length socks. But only if you are 18. And stay in London.
We hung around a little longer cos we just didn't want to offend the sweet old lady. As we left, I even lied that I will tell my friends about her place. My friend chipped in that we'd love to stay longer to slowly browse through her stocks but not today. Another day, alright?
Some people call it vintage.
But sorry, it was just plain old fashion to us.
We went back into the car, and kicked our friend's ass for bringing us to such a fruitless place. It was a fun girls day out. Sans the kids. Just like the old times.
The lion sleeps tonight..
But not us. No. Never at 4 am. It's the best time to play dress up and gossip.
Friday, June 17, 2011
my lil helper
Of course he has no breasts to substitute me (I could use some surrogate breasts), but he is the best help in the house. He fetches anything, everything for baby willingly.
He is not jealous at all. In fact, he is so proud of his lil sis that a coo sounds like a whole song to him.
He has much better common sense and hygiene practice than kakak. He asked if the pacifier is clean every time he sees us shoving it into baby's mouth. He washes it when he sees a speck of foreign entity on it. He only touches the handle and not any part of the pacifier which comes in contact with baby's mouth.
While I have an affair with the medela pump, he keeps her entertained. It really does make breast pumping more fun watching them "talking" and smiling and laughing at each other.
Every time he manages to get a happy response from her (usually a loud and excited shriek), he is as proud as a peacock.
He is disappointed when she is asleep. He can't wait for her to wake so he can have endless soliloquies with her (with me as the observing party).
He loves her so much that he thinks she is the cutest baby in his universe.
He loves feeding her (using the bottle lah). So much so he is wiling to drop anything he is doing (example: tv time) to fulfill this duty.
Are you impressed? Heck, I know I am!
And proud, too. :)
He is not jealous at all. In fact, he is so proud of his lil sis that a coo sounds like a whole song to him.
He has much better common sense and hygiene practice than kakak. He asked if the pacifier is clean every time he sees us shoving it into baby's mouth. He washes it when he sees a speck of foreign entity on it. He only touches the handle and not any part of the pacifier which comes in contact with baby's mouth.
While I have an affair with the medela pump, he keeps her entertained. It really does make breast pumping more fun watching them "talking" and smiling and laughing at each other.
Every time he manages to get a happy response from her (usually a loud and excited shriek), he is as proud as a peacock.
He is disappointed when she is asleep. He can't wait for her to wake so he can have endless soliloquies with her (with me as the observing party).
He loves her so much that he thinks she is the cutest baby in his universe.
He loves feeding her (using the bottle lah). So much so he is wiling to drop anything he is doing (example: tv time) to fulfill this duty.
Are you impressed? Heck, I know I am!
And proud, too. :)
Bangkok flashback
We used to stay in Bangkok, Gooly and I. For 4 years. A period I deem not long enough. If I could, I really would have stayed on with Papah. Alas, due to various reasons (which DO NOT involve the authority) we reluctantly bade farewell to the Kingdom of Smiles in 2009.
This morning, a friend posted a video (on FB) which was produced by the Tourism of Thailand (I think). As the images of Thailand showing its beauty and charm reeled before my (misty) eyes, I realized that I miss the kingdom.
A lot. *sniff*
Of course, when I first moved there, I hated it. (Homosapiens have this very annoying and lousy mechanism called "adapting to new life.") I didn't like their 'maipenrai' (never mind, it's ok) culture - something which I translated very unfairly as to the Thais having very lackadaisical attitude. This sentiment is clearly reflected in my very first few posts, with regards to 'living in Bangkok.'
But as I got to know the locals better and understand, adapt and accept their way of life, I find that people of Thailand are very charming. Again, the feelings were reflected in the latter posts.
I miss giving and receiving 'wais' - the gentle mannerism of clasping the two hands with head slightly bowed which I find very humbling. No matter how many times I do it, I do not exude the beauty and grace of the action. Little Thai girls even give a little curtsy when they 'wai'. But apparently they can't over-do it lest they be called pompous. It's the same when the ladies talk. It's ok to have opinions but not be overtly confident. It's all about striking a balance, I suppose. I find all these very amusing.
I made a very grave mistake when I first moved there though. Intrigued by the gentleness of the action, I was giving 'wais' freely to the kids in my neighbourhood. Aiyayaya..... To my embarrassment, I found out that a 'wai' is not to be given to a child as it is believed to bring them bad luck. Khor tod ka..I didn't know.
Likewise, one should not touch the head of a person. Do not ruffle a kid's head as a form of affection like we often do here. And so, one day, I found an older child using his two hands to cup Gooly's face while saying, "Nalaak." (cute). I find his method equally affectionate, if not more.
I remember my kind old neighbors. The one on my left spoke very little English. But she still ratlled on in thai to me every day. Something I found a lil annoying at first cos I was tired of saying, "Mai kau jai." (I don't understand). But now, I miss her toothless smiles, and wonder a lot how they are and if Nong Bang, her son has gone through the operation which will make him not limp anymore.
I wonder if the little girl with down syndrome has gone to school.
I wonder if they remember me as fondly as I do of them.
Someone once said I'm a Thainese. She meant it as a joke. But I think it's cool. And therefore, I declare, I'm a Thainese - through and through.
Sawadeeka.
This morning, a friend posted a video (on FB) which was produced by the Tourism of Thailand (I think). As the images of Thailand showing its beauty and charm reeled before my (misty) eyes, I realized that I miss the kingdom.
A lot. *sniff*
Of course, when I first moved there, I hated it. (Homosapiens have this very annoying and lousy mechanism called "adapting to new life.") I didn't like their 'maipenrai' (never mind, it's ok) culture - something which I translated very unfairly as to the Thais having very lackadaisical attitude. This sentiment is clearly reflected in my very first few posts, with regards to 'living in Bangkok.'
But as I got to know the locals better and understand, adapt and accept their way of life, I find that people of Thailand are very charming. Again, the feelings were reflected in the latter posts.
I miss giving and receiving 'wais' - the gentle mannerism of clasping the two hands with head slightly bowed which I find very humbling. No matter how many times I do it, I do not exude the beauty and grace of the action. Little Thai girls even give a little curtsy when they 'wai'. But apparently they can't over-do it lest they be called pompous. It's the same when the ladies talk. It's ok to have opinions but not be overtly confident. It's all about striking a balance, I suppose. I find all these very amusing.
I made a very grave mistake when I first moved there though. Intrigued by the gentleness of the action, I was giving 'wais' freely to the kids in my neighbourhood. Aiyayaya..... To my embarrassment, I found out that a 'wai' is not to be given to a child as it is believed to bring them bad luck. Khor tod ka..I didn't know.
Likewise, one should not touch the head of a person. Do not ruffle a kid's head as a form of affection like we often do here. And so, one day, I found an older child using his two hands to cup Gooly's face while saying, "Nalaak." (cute). I find his method equally affectionate, if not more.
I remember my kind old neighbors. The one on my left spoke very little English. But she still ratlled on in thai to me every day. Something I found a lil annoying at first cos I was tired of saying, "Mai kau jai." (I don't understand). But now, I miss her toothless smiles, and wonder a lot how they are and if Nong Bang, her son has gone through the operation which will make him not limp anymore.
I wonder if the little girl with down syndrome has gone to school.
I wonder if they remember me as fondly as I do of them.
Someone once said I'm a Thainese. She meant it as a joke. But I think it's cool. And therefore, I declare, I'm a Thainese - through and through.
Sawadeeka.
Monday, June 13, 2011
I use Babelfish
There were a few times that Lolly awoke and started calling out for attention. She didn't do it the conventional way - through crying. No, no, no. Crying is so not her style.
She would just shriek in her high pitch voice. Sometimes it sounds like she's singing a tune even. But sometimes of course, it sounded like she was just screaming her lungs off ala Banshee (in X-men). With No Tears.
And I would magically appear before her, saying, "Voila, your most favourite person who is on call 24/7 pops right in front of you whenever you shout. Chak!"
And she in turn, flashes the most adorable smile.
Look!
Truth be told, I do feel heroic. You know, it's like she calls for help, and I appear, and she breathes a sigh of relief (Phew! Mom! I'm so glad you are here!) and she smiles. Happy ending.
Sometimes I use Babelfish to translate her babbles , I imagine our 'conversations'.
She: Weeekkkkk! Wwwweeek! (Mom! Mom!)
Me: Yes.... Super hero here!
She: *smiles* Anggu....angueee... (Where did you go, Mom! I felt so alone!)
Me: There there there.. everything's ok now. Mommy is here.
She: *smiles wider* Gee, Mom.. you look great in your super-hero outfit!
Me: You do have an eye for fashion....Just like me...*wink*
She: Whatever~ I'm going back to sleep now. See you in a while. You better be here when I open my eyes!
Me: Yes, Your Highness.
Another happy ending.
Actually, that did happen (minus the silly translation). She shouted, and I appeared. She then smiled, and dozed off to sleep again. I do feel so wanted and needed. By my life size doll.
Seriously (like I can ever be! Teehee!) I do think both of us have pre-installed antennas.Right at our navels (aka goolypop). That device that makes us so connected. When she sees me, her face lights up a million watt. And the words, MOM IS MY FAVOURITE MILK SUPPLIER clearly appear in neon lights.
But my mom begs to differ. She says her face lights up just as much even when she is looking at the ceiling fan.
Pffttt... Well, at least she is a happy lark. :)
Friday, June 3, 2011
My milkshake
The other day, for conversation sake, I told someone (over the phone) that lolly's neck is already quite strong.
Guess what was her response?
"Must be your breast milk.."
Guess what was my response?
I rolled my eyes.
Yep, I did. They probably would have rolled out of the sockets if not for the muscles that kept them in place.
Ok she probably meant it as a compliment but citing my milk as the sole reason for my baby's development milestones (which could be a fact, according to the experts) is just way too much, for me.
Why?
Because one day, I may just wake up and decide not to "pump it"(sing BEP) anymore and I'd get blamed for many things. I'd be called a bad momma who had breasts for nothing!
But but why would you stop breastfeeding? (that's you sounding very 'concerned')
Because I..uhm...am lazy?
Gah! Woah! WHAT?
Yep..you may pick up your jaw. They are, after all my breasts. I have the liberty to decide what to do with them. That includes not being sucked by Mr.Medela everyday - 5 times, mind you (6 when I'm in the mood). Whilst we are at it, I would really want my original boobs back. The non leaky ones, please.
But what if she loses her rosy cheeks once you stop supplying her breast milk, I hear you asking? Well, I'd buy her blusher. Bobby Brown. The best, I tell you!
What if her IQ drops to 92? (which is the Malaysians average score). Tough one. Looks like she can't be a rocket scientist then. Bummer!
What if her hair drops? (I'd ask Prince William if having little hair is an issue.)
Oh gee wait.. I think I know why Gooly scored 76 (only?) for his maths test. Oh no! Cos I didn't breast feed him!!
And his nose is kinda flat. Could it be because of the caesarean that I had instead of natural water birth?
What if..what if.. What if...could it be..could it be..could it be..Sigh!
Here's the thing..
While some of you are really martyr about this whole child birthing thing (No drugs! Torn vaginas!! Yay!) there are some of us who just don't aspire to be Joan of Arc (though I really like the pixie chic hairstyle she had in the movie)
So..
Just to note. I love you, gooly and lolly. Even though I cut you guys out (hey, not entirely a bad thing. Julius Caeser was born that way too, according to some unlikely legend :P) and didn't supply breast milk for eternity (FYI, Harry Potter wasn't breastfed till he was 8 and yet he turned out to be the best wizard in story book history :P)
And the greatest example - moi! Wasn't breast fed either. And was probably picked up from the thrash can. And look how I turned out to be?
Yep! Completely insane!
*snorts n cackles*
Guess what was her response?
"Must be your breast milk.."
Guess what was my response?
I rolled my eyes.
Yep, I did. They probably would have rolled out of the sockets if not for the muscles that kept them in place.
Ok she probably meant it as a compliment but citing my milk as the sole reason for my baby's development milestones (which could be a fact, according to the experts) is just way too much, for me.
Why?
Because one day, I may just wake up and decide not to "pump it"(sing BEP) anymore and I'd get blamed for many things. I'd be called a bad momma who had breasts for nothing!
But but why would you stop breastfeeding? (that's you sounding very 'concerned')
Because I..uhm...am lazy?
Gah! Woah! WHAT?
Yep..you may pick up your jaw. They are, after all my breasts. I have the liberty to decide what to do with them. That includes not being sucked by Mr.Medela everyday - 5 times, mind you (6 when I'm in the mood). Whilst we are at it, I would really want my original boobs back. The non leaky ones, please.
But what if she loses her rosy cheeks once you stop supplying her breast milk, I hear you asking? Well, I'd buy her blusher. Bobby Brown. The best, I tell you!
What if her IQ drops to 92? (which is the Malaysians average score). Tough one. Looks like she can't be a rocket scientist then. Bummer!
What if her hair drops? (I'd ask Prince William if having little hair is an issue.)
Oh gee wait.. I think I know why Gooly scored 76 (only?) for his maths test. Oh no! Cos I didn't breast feed him!!
And his nose is kinda flat. Could it be because of the caesarean that I had instead of natural water birth?
What if..what if.. What if...could it be..could it be..could it be..Sigh!
Here's the thing..
While some of you are really martyr about this whole child birthing thing (No drugs! Torn vaginas!! Yay!) there are some of us who just don't aspire to be Joan of Arc (though I really like the pixie chic hairstyle she had in the movie)
So..
Just to note. I love you, gooly and lolly. Even though I cut you guys out (hey, not entirely a bad thing. Julius Caeser was born that way too, according to some unlikely legend :P) and didn't supply breast milk for eternity (FYI, Harry Potter wasn't breastfed till he was 8 and yet he turned out to be the best wizard in story book history :P)
And the greatest example - moi! Wasn't breast fed either. And was probably picked up from the thrash can. And look how I turned out to be?
Yep! Completely insane!
*snorts n cackles*
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