Dear Principal

A couple of weeks back, a close friend told me that her son was punched at school.Oh yes.. there is a Bruce Lee, Mohamad Ali and perhaps Jackie Chan in places where there are supposed to be pretty fluffy clouds with beautiful rainbows, and little children put their hands on little friends' shoulders, make choo-choo sound and head on to classes. Much to our chagrin, not-so-cute Kungfu Pandas make their unwanted presence in such sanctuaries too.

And so the poor boy bled in his nose. His hankie was bloody, his shirt drenched also. My friend was called to pick him up. Upon seeing him, instead of crying his heart out, he said almost nervously, "It's ok, Mummy.. Nothing lar.. nothing happened lar." And the teacher and principal stood behind him, resting their hands on his shoulder, nodding and breathing slightly heavier.

While we marvel at his bravery, we have a sneaky suspicion that the teachers have cajoled him into thinking, "Do not make a mole hill out of an ant's hill..so what you got a bloody nose? Everybody gets punched in schools. You big boy or not? Ah.. Big boys don't cry." Not exactly those words, but you get the drift.

And the next day, my friend's son was sent to another class, to avoid that bully, whose parents didn't apologize but dare to demand to remain in the same class. The victim was ostracized.

Being 8 kwar righteous, I helped my friend pen the below letter:

Dear Principal,

I am deeply disappointed with the way the school handled my son's unfortunate experience two days ago. While not being able to ensure the safety of the students within the school compound, you have committed a greater mistake by trying to cover up the mishap.

Upon receiving phone calls from the school regarding his nose bleed, I rushed there only to hear a nervous, "It's ok, Mummy .. I'm ok." It broke my heart that my son has resorted to hide his pain, hurt and fear by acting nonchalant about the whole incident. His hanky and shirt were soaked in blood. Hence, please don't mock me by reassuring me that he wasn't feeling hurt, scared or shocked, like any other child would, if not coaxed by the school party to play it cool.

What disappoints me further is the arrangement you deem as the solution for this case, which is by transferring my son to another class. Meanwhile, the boy who punched him walks away WITHOUT an apology, remains in the same class, feeling triumphant that he has gotten rid of the boy, who, dare I say.. complained? FYI, my son dislikes this arrangement and is feeling as though he is punished for 'making a mole hill out of an ant hill'.

Someone once said, "All the things we need to know about life, we learn in the kindergarten." It makes me shudder in fear that my son will grow up learning these from your school:

a. it's ok to lie
b.It's ok not to apologize
c. I must hide my feelings
d. I will be punished if I told the truth
e. it's ok to punch or bully
f. it's ok to be punched or bullied

I'm not insistent on getting an apology from any party as the damage has been done. While this letter may sound harsh, I must stress that my intention is to bring awareness to your school and others as well, on the note that everything you do as an educator or teacher creates an impact in a child's life.

Thank you.

Yes, accidents do happen. Yes, boys get rough. But what we do aftermaths is most important. Saying sorry, being truthful, having the courage to own up - should we not inculcate them, especially if you are an educator/teacher or more obviously, a father or mother?

Boy, am I glad Gooly is still at home, where the bully mom kicks ass makes mistakes and apologizes.

What do you do if your child comes home bloody from school? ( on account that he was not into gansgterism, and that he was clearly bullied?) Eee.. sakit hati.