Thursday, August 21, 2008

A very subtle love-story.

When I was 10, all my friends were attending piano lessons. They played Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars with both hands, and all fingers.I was impressed as I could only manage a miserable tune using my right index finger. During those days, I roamed around my residential area alone on my Chopper bicycle and one day I went into a music school and inquired about lessons. The lady was very amused at this little girl in shorts and bubblegummer slippers interested in learning the piano but not accompanied by her parents. I asked the necessary question, how much?

I went home and mustered all my courage to ask my ah pa if I could take piano lessons. I explained that I will cycle for classes. He said, "Of course, you may, SorMui (my nick then). Anything you want.." Because he said that, I didn't take the lessons.

My parents work hard all their life. They wake at 3am to leave for the market. We were never poor. We always have good food and in fact we live in a rather big house. But it's a silent consciousness that they have worked very hard and we, as children never take them for granted. I knew the 'rule' as young as 5. I'd never order Milo in a restaurant and insisted on drinking water. My earliest memory of my childhood was in a restaurant when I was about 5, and my ah bu asked if I wanted Milo, and I said aloud, "Oh.. that is too expensive."

My parents were very easy going. They didn't nag us or raise their voices, even. They just let us be. I won't say that they didn't care about our education, but because they themselves didn't attend school, and thus they didn't know what is involved. So instead, we told them how the system works.

After form 5, my friends were all going to colleges and preparing for overseas studies. If I wanted, again I could have gone to US, Australia or Timbuktoo. But with another brother leaving for UK, I knew I had to make the right choice by attending a local university. Some friends asked, "Why so unfair? Boys get to go, and girls stay local?" (All 3 brothers went to Uk, my sister and I attended local Us) Is gender equality even an issue here? I absolutely don't think so.

I don't know what my parents did, but all 5 of us were good children. I grew up thinking, I'd get anything if I asked from my parents. And therefore I shan't. Now as a parent myself, I wonder how to do just that, giving Gooly everything but not spoiling him at the same time. How do I strike the balance?

Currently living the 3rd decade of my life, I am comforted that my parent will still give me anything I want. So occasionally I'd ask for a lift from my ah pa, and some curry chicken I crave from my ah bu. Little little things that make me a child, and them, the loving parents they will always be.

I hope they know that I will give them anything they ask, in fact a thousand times over. But like me, they never ask.

It saddens me that my parents won't be able to read this post as they read and almost speak no English. It's always very 'shy' to show affections in a chinese family. I don't kiss or say mushy stuff to them (sometimes tempted, but didn't lar) But I hope they know, as I do, that love is abundance in our family, albeit we show them subtly.

17 comments:

sawisekilo said...

aiyoh pang yau, nanti i tolong fan yik to aunty ah. So fren, no charge lah! One milo can already. see u soon...

goolypop said...

ahneh.. boleh trusted ke u punyar translation skill? Nanti bab i mintak milo jadi kopi o pulak :P

rainbow angeles said...

u can trust me to be the translator kuarrr?? ;-)

u knw, abt the Milo thing, i also got similiar sexperience neh... an unwritten rule to nvr order milo in a kopitiam.. the rationale was, milo can make at home mar.. but then kopi peng or teh peng oso can make at home, rite? but they r cheaper compared to milo... :-)

goolypop said...

angeles, u mao translate to BM ka? But have to do bahasa pasar wor. But ah.. if translated to hokkien or canto, dunno the bulu ketiak naik or not, hor? geliiiiii...

Yes ah, Milo more mahal ka. Sei lak, yum mailo ng chi mailo kar..

tasy said...

Aww.. such a touching tribute to your parents, though they dun read a word of it. Same goes here.

Yeah, I do wonder like you do, how did they do it, where they seemed like, they did nothing and yet make us so obedient and well behaved. Yes, us. I'm a good girl like you too. :)

I guess everything evolves with time.

goolypop said...

yes gargies. Exactly lor.. they like so selamba and we all turned out ok, kan. Ish.. how ah *scratch head, chin and armpit*

Anonymous said...

Wuah, so touching post. Never mind, they dun read they also know your heart lah...

Forget to tell you, one click cost you 2 baht? Pay me when we meet.

goolypop said...

lilian, moe man thai! add one chicken leg also can.

Reanaclaire said...

mahmeeeeeee...very kam toong...now only i realise u r such a sang sing girl...so considerate, so positive thinking, so filial.. so..so... sigh...yeah, i agree with u, we asians very hard to show our hugs and kisses..i also nv leh..but i recalled hugging my mum 2 times, one when we took photo during her b/day and another one when she was going to leave for US, i gave her ang pow and a half hug, meaning never touch so hard on the body like male and female...ouch..

goolypop said...

claire.. now onli u knowwww... ka?

Maybe we all last time ngong ngong hor.. dunno how to demand. :P

PureGlutton said...

Yeah, somehow we Asians are so reserved with our affections - i oso don't hug my mum much but i hug my LL a lot wor... so unfair, right?

goolypop said...

Pureglutton, good lar.. we trying to UN-do the tradition ma.. At least we wan to change for the better lor.

mistipurple said...

buy them something. anything small also good. or else they feel you waste money. they will appreciate with all their heart. one way of showing love. because shy to hug mah.
(plus small pocket money, say they ownself buy what they want to eat. they will so appreciate this type of gesture.)

goolypop said...

misti.. wokay *tabik*

Anonymous said...

Wah..*sniff sniff* never know so good writer one gooly. My tissue box almost "haeng* (Dry) already.
Your Mommy and Daddy speak Thai kah? I translate for them lah. wuakaka.

goolypop said...

Cy, aiyor.. pud thai maidai leh.. how?

Anonymous said...

mai pen rai loh..sabai sabai

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