Justice ka-pow!

A long time ago, when i first got married and went back to Alaska for cny, my mil had casually introduced me as her dil when we bumped into her friend (from church, i pressume.)

"Is she a Christian?"

Wow. Did you hear that? "Is she a Christian?" - that has gotta be the utmost important question of all when you get to kmow a person (from the lady's p.o.v, i pressume.)

For a split second, i felt being judged - am i less worthy as a person, as a wife, as a daughter in law, if i were not a Christian?

But the feeling lasted just for a nano second because i, may be OVER-reading a simple, nosy, inquisitive auntie's 'innocent' question of whether or not, if i were a Christian (or a animal.) Most importantly, i never let another person to judge me from my gender, size, height, character, my obsession with bags, or me, as a wife, daughter, mother, daughter in law, friend, enemy (sorry, if i hate you, i hate you). By saying i dont allow it doesnt mean i yell at you for saying judgemental things about me. Whats the point really? If i am totally okay with ME, i really dont care what you say. And the i just proceed to turn of my antennas and strike you off from my list (yes, i have a list..i have many lists, in fact. Inheritance list, for instance... Now you wanna be good to me, eh?)

Having said that, i'm ok with suggestions, pointers, advice...say when i say, "I need to cure my bag addiction." or some other banal queries ,about parenting. But you need to say it in a non- judgemental way, which much to my chagrin, not many homo sapiens have this skill of. Which is why i dont have many friends #forever alone.

And thats like judging you for judging me. Hey..i am not perfect. Never said i was. But you really shouldnt care what i think. And when everyone stops caring what others think (the bad stuff), this world will be all lemon drops and rainbowy.......wheeeee!

Dare to discipline

Many times when a child misbehaves, I hear the parent says :

- oh she's tired.
- oh she's not feeling well
- oh she's cranky
- oh she's the middle child
- oh she just had a baby sibling
- oh she's hungry
- oh she's young still
- oh her pet turtle just died

...and whatever other 'ohs' they can think of. And voila, all the tantrums or rudeness are justified.

*hyperventilates*

Ok let me say this slowly and carefully.

Is.....your....child....a ...baby....? (ok, shit..this is clearly not working. My brain works like a bullet train. And I have a cute bum to wipe (not mine). Chop! Chop! Let's get this over quick!)

Ok, here's my thought. When your child is old enough to verbalise, she can LEARN to tell you her problems without crying or whining. Deal with the tiredness, sleepiness, hunger or whatever that's bugging her with a SOLUTION, not with another problem (crying wastes more energy and make you even more tired lor, duh!).

The other day, I met a girl who's rather aggressive. She shoved another kid for the chair she "reeeeeaaaalllly" wanted because it matched with her blue blouse. *roll eyes*. (Oh, she's wearing blue, that's why she pushed the boy cos she's wearing blue. See what I mean?Am I the only thinking how absurd this sounds. FYI, I repeated the "reason" on purpose to see if it makes better sense. Nope, it still doesn't!) Another time she scolded the maid because oh, that's what maids are for (ok, I made this up :p).

And then the parent proudly concluded, "My girl won't be bullied. She's tough." Well, here's news, mama - she is the one bullying! Stop giving her excuses to behave like crap. No, let me rephrase...stop giving her the license to ill treat others. She was never bullied before, and there isn't a need for this aggressive behavior to protect herself. If we all behaved in a civilized manner, we don't need these haughty shields, really.

And isnt it tiring to bring up a child in a hostile manner. The world is quite a beauty if you believe so. Vice versa, it's hell if that's what you think it is. (if it is the latter to you, why choose to bring a baby to this earth, eh? *puzzled*)

Some parents are in denial..some are protective. Some even say it's love, thus allowing this ..uhm..freedom to uhm...express themselves *cough* Well, there is a gargantuan difference between liberation and rudeness.

If you really love your child, dare to discipline. Next chapter, how to discipline......jeng jeng jeng...(kakaka....as if I know)

When playing is serious

Hearsay, a big concept of 'play room' is coming to Bangkok end of this year. Various 'sets' will be laid out in a large area i.e hospital, police station, fire station, catwalk stage, dental clinics, salons, etc. And your kid will have a 'gala' time playing pretend. He can be a singer, a dentist, a model...whatever lah..you get the drift. The gadgets and uniforms will be 'real' stuff. Not those cheapo pasar malam plastic stuff you find in my house. That's because it is supposed to be a real-life experience where the kids will be given monies to spend, and when the fund is dry, they can work to earn too.

Fun? Oooh... a lot of mummies think so.

My take :

1) I think it's dumb. Playing pretend is ok. Imagination is good. But when you make such efforts to inculcate play, it's not play anymore. It sounds to me, this indoor park is pretty s.e.r.i.o.u.s. about making money. I am sure the entrance fee will be hefty. When you make money out of kids about character/mind building, I know you are bullshiting. Don't crap me about you care about kids development by giving them an opportunity to learn some lifelong skill. (The same for all seminars or tuition centres) **

2. I think it's dumb. What real-life experience? You want real? Put in some brothels. And have robbers in the banks. And loan sharks. Of course they will say, "We want positive characters!" Sure , sure.. there is nothing wrong with that..BUT PLEASE! Don't say its real life experience! What a whole lot of crap!

3. I think it's dumb. What's the big rush? They will grow up and work!

Ok, say you want your kid to learn about occupations -then, bring them to factories, or make an effort to explain about jobs wherever you are. And if you are really bold, you can even ask permission to use their tools. (Like, use the hair dryer at the saloon.)

Again, I am not saying that play pretend is dumb. It's dumb to PAY ( I was told it's about Rm200-300 per entrance) to play pretend when play pretend can be anything, anywhere. (Put a blanket over your head and voila , you are a ghost, you know what I mean?)

I just don't get it. You plonk a kid with good company in an empty field, a swimming pool, a sand pit, chances are..they will have a gala time.

I think what bugs me is commercialism. Yucks! Totally distasteful.

Yes, it will be fun, I reckon. But only if they charge, RM10-20 per entry?

Don't ask if my sentiments are the same for Disneyland? I dunno. Macam not the same. Oh...I know. That's because Disney is all about FANTASY........!

Ok. The end.

*Abrupt end because I need to pangsai.

** I am not saying everything should be free. Look, they gotta earn a living too. I totally understand that. But when you earn a FORTUNE from your philosophy of caring for kids' development..it's just a whole lot of crap to me.