In a taxi

.. just my luck, I often get the paling ancient taxis with hot-aircond. This I can tahan. Or I get those with uncles who suffer from incontinence, who stop at the road side to have a pee, asking my permission first. Do I have the right to say no? Ok, because I believe in Karma, I usually say "Fine, make a quick one (and wash your hands! I don't care where you're gonna get water. Just wash!"). The words in parenthesis are not uttered of course because it will be futile, no? Karmically speaking, I don't want to have a lausai moment and the taximan says no to my request to the nearest pee stop. So, yes.. I usually say, Fine..make a quick one..#*$)@*$

(I usually repeat myself when I am stressed.)

Anyhoo,

...what I cannot comprehendo is those weird taxi drivers who ask the weirdest questions. Can I stop for a pee is one of them.

Another classic example is :

"How much is your husband's salary?"

-______-

This is the time I feign deafness or dumbness.


"Waaat? Huh? Mairooo! Mai kau jau!*"

I should really deserve an Oscar for my over acting. Yesterday, I had another episode.

"Are you married?"

I nodded with a "shut up already" look.

And he proceeded with another question. I wasn't really listening, but nodded still, assuming that he asked, "Do you have kids?"

It's a logical pattern of sequencing - "Are you married?" followed by, "Do you have kids?" No? Just like, "Have you eaten?" and then, "Pangsai already?"

Ok, fine. There are no rules when it comes to asking questions.

So it turns out, the lecherous uncle had asked, "Do you have gigs?" Gigs meaning boyfriends or mistresses, or in my case, toyboys?

Oei? Do I look like a sugarmama?

Nah... actually it's quite a norm for Thais to have extra-marital relationships. Platonic or not, I donchno.

And I haven't told you about those who said I am cute, pretty, beautiful.... those are not weird. Heheh. They are just creeeeeeepppppy!

Looking at the random weirdness of the taximen, I won't be surprised if I am asked, "Where did you get your plastic surgery done?" or "Is that your grandson?" (referring to Gooly) in future.

TAXI~ anyone?

*log on to www.pretendyouknowthai.com for your own translation. :P


Disclaimer: There are good, kind, mind your own business who carry my grocery bags to the steps of my condo kind of taximen too.