kns

Just when life is rosy, it inevitably makes a swift left turn and throws shit at you.

We were king and queen, and him, the prince. Living in a castle far far away. With servants and knights. Swimming pool and rose gardens. Animals and coaches. (Hai ak.. exaggerate ak!)

Suddenly..

Haih... everything is topsy turvy. From gallant prince, he became... a tyrant! And me, the Queen.. well, I am still the Queen lah. (Obviously still in denial)

Today is the 2nd week of tau tap tap ngan sap sap style of going to school. I had to let him keep our necklace in his pocket so that he feels I am with him during this difficult period.

I don't know if that works. But he hung on to it with such strong emotions. It was really like sending him off to RAKAN MUDA programme in the deep deep jungle called PANDORA.

We are going for KFC later. And will get the chicky meal with sampah toy. It's an encouragement technique, not bribery, ok?

Haih..

Now, tell me, how were we banished from our kingdom again?

Bribery dan kisah selanjutnya

I am so bad at doing that. At bribing.

If I were stopped by a traffic police for speeding, the most convincing and yau-ying-doe-sei speech I can deliver is "TAK MUNGKIN!"

TAK MUNGKIN is also applicable for illegal u-turns, dashing red lights and urinating in public.

It's hard for me to utter those three words - "Inchik, boleh settle?"

The same for Gooly. I could never bribe him with sweets, toys and girls. Threaten, yes I can. But bribe.. It's so against my ..can I say principle?

Ok lah, don't say principle. Because tomorrow I may bribe him. (I know me. I am fickle like a sickle. Chui meh?)

Anyways, my abu resorts to bribery whenever the opportunity arises. Yeah, it sounds so wrong. But I think it's an opportunity for her if it allows her to be closer to her grandkids.

And so she said, "Gooly, you go school, Ahma buy toys for you." (after he ponteng half the lessons yesterday.)

And Gooly, the very difficult child said, "No need, Ahma. I don't want toys." Very the chartoe.

Ok, of course I am proud that he can resist such an offer. I was just telling him no more buying toys. And he obeys.

But if he had taken the offer and gone to school, that would have been easier, right?

On a short term basis-lah.

Ok, I take that back. He shouldn't be bribed no matter what. (told you I am fickle-minded).

So-

He is quite a good kid rite? His behavior record previously was sparkly clean rite? Fine, with some crosses and skulls and poison signs here and there. But nothing too kikseiyan rite?

Then-

Why does he presently come back from school with tales which end with, "Teacher scolded me. I cried very LOUD." (which actually means he threw a fit, I am sure.)

Son ah son.. I really don't know. Are you causing trouble in school? Or the system is not right for you? How can you demand an apology from your teacher?

Actually, can he?

Hahahhahaha...(that, FYI is a very sad laugh)

What do kids talk about?

The other day, Gooly was in the car chit chatting with his 8 yr old cousin. The topics varied from disgusting food (durian, can you believe it? Kids! Bah! What do they know?) to marriage (Again. Kids! What do they know about sex.. I mean marriage).

I chuckled numerous times eavesdropping listening to the conversation. There were some parts that I nodded in angreement. Unfortunately, there was also a part where my heart was all twisty.

First the funnies:
Cousin: Do you want to get married?

Gooly: Yes, when I grow up, I will get married with a girl and have children. (Ahh.. a very ideal life plan)

Cousin: I am never ever getting married. It's a lot of work. And you will have to kiss your wife. So, you better find one that is not UGLY.

*cricket sound*

Papah: That's a very good advice.

Despite the darting-dagger-stares that I threw at Papah, I admit from a male's perspective, that piece of philosophy is priceless.

And that it came from an 8 year old, my bones were tickled.

***

Cousin: When are you going back to Bangkok?

Me: Not so soon. We're gonna be around for awhile. Isn't that good?

Gooly: No. I will miss my papah.

*cricket sound*

Gooly: You know? I will miss papah.

I know. And I am sorry.

I have said many many many things to console him. That much I can do. I can't fill up that empty space in his heart.

He starts his day by saying, "I miss papah. Is he coming back today?"

He ends his nights by asking, "When is papah coming back? I miss papah."

*heartbreaks*

We are working on it, k? Give us some time.

Bah! I used to think Mothers could fix everything. Broken hearts and all...Dem.. this task is hard. Can YOU help please?

War

Yesterday at 12.43 outside the classroom

Gooly: *tau tap tap* Mama...

Mama: What....? *impatient*

Gooly: *tears rolling down* Mama... I miss papah...

Mama: I know but you still need to go to school.

Gooly: *bawling* I miss papah! I don't love you anymore!

Mama: *green veins erupting* What is wrong? Why don't you want to go to school?

Gooly: Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I'm tired! I want to go home and rest.

This battle went on for a while. I was so freaking mad I took him home. He kept on saying "My mama is mean! My mama is so mean!"

And I retaliated by saying he was mean too.

Wt... it was like two 5 years old fighting.

I couldn't reason with him.

I didn't know what to say.

I didn't know how to bribe him.

This is all too new for me! We never quite had this problem before!

I was mad, sad, worried, disappointed, murderous. He was mad, sad, angry, crazy!

We got home, and the whole 'world' spoke to him. My mom, my dad, my bro, my sis. And his only response was "NO! My mama is the meanest!"

*Dem PK! Fan guat chye betul!*

I couldn't think straight. There were so many people talking at the same time. I told him, "Let's go somewhere." I was thinking of a place where we could talk. Let him tell me what is wrong with the school, teacher, friends.

OR maybe what is wrong with ME?

We got in the car and he asked me, "Can you sayang me first?"

Oooh.. Gooly. I do sayang you. I do I do I do.

We talked a while. And I suggested that we start all over again. Let's go school again. He agreed.

With his feet entering the classroom, the war between mother and son was declared over. No causalities involved. Just some heartaches. And ear aches.

Today, with numerous cheong-hei reminders, he stepped into the classroom as though yesterday's episode didn't happen.

It is still a mystery why he behaved the way he did yesterday.

Gawd! Please let the mystery be history. No more battles at school!

Tolong! Tolong! I don't want to be seekor gila babi yang melampau yang memakan charsiewpau.

Do you have a shoulder for me to lean on?

I miss papah.

I am tired.

I don't want go school

*loud wail*

Blek. Starting a new life here aint easy!

Can I wail too?

Luo Ye Gui Gen

Fallen leaves.

Malaysia, whether you like it or not...

We are calling you home.

Ma, I am back..........

*terminator mujik*

5

You woke this morning and exclaimed, "It's MY birthday!" I managed a yawn and a greeting simultaneously - Haiippih Buurhfday...! with my eyes half closed.

You instructed that I said it with much more zest while you plopped back down to bed, pretending to be still asleep. The idea was to 'surprise' you with a loud over-the-top HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I obliged of course.

And your "is it really my birthday finally?' look was really convincing.

You thought you were six because you blew off 5 candles at an early celebration with Ada.

I said No. You are 5.

But you said you were five last year.

I said No. You were turning 5 last year.

Poor lad. You were so confused.

And so you are 5 relunctantly. Today.

5 years. 1,2,3,4,5. That's five fingers on one hand. The same five fingers I have held for five years.

As I held your hand, guiding you, I knew the other five fingers on the other hand are eager to 'flee', even wanting to escape, perhaps. They are always pointing out something, poking at someone or picking up an object. But you were still a little unsure thus you hung on to me in the past years.

I guess being 5 means you will be more confident. You will explore more. It's ok. Don't be afraid.

Rest assured, whenever you look back, I am there. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a frown. (Give me a minute, and I will turn the latter upside down.)

Grow grow grow...
Every hurdle
Every challenge
We will charge forward
Go go go.

Happy Birthday, Gooly!