Recognition

For the life of me, i couldnt and cant understand the significance of giving awards or rewards to someone who has done a lot. I mean, if you are a kid, yes..stickers and stamps and stars probably give you some sort of achievement high. But when you are an adult, how does a plaque or a trophy make you feel remotely happy about what you have done?

I am a mother. Inevitably, sometimes I feel, "Why am i the only one doing stuff for the kids? Hey, what about me? Woi, i need to sleep or hang out with my friends too, you know." At the end of all these unresolved questionings, I, too would like people who matter to me, think and know that what I do is not easy and equally important as saving the poison arrow frogs.

So, do i want the person to give me an award of recognition or something? I dont think so. It wont be satisfactory to my soul.

How about a reward? A bag, perchance? I do love bags, but they are reserved for other celebrations like birthdays and christmases, rayas but not for being a "trying to be a good" mom.

I suppose i just need kind gestures and words on a daily basis. Nothing grand..some words like -

"Quiet down, mummy is resting."

"Let's bring mummy to her favourite place to eat."

"Go give mummy a hug."

When you say that, papah, I know you appreciate me. Thank you.

And for Gooly to say -

"You are the best mom in this family." (tho I am THE ONLY mom in the family)

"Mom's job is the hardest!"

"Papah, quickly finish your food and take care of meimei so mummy can eat."

"I will finish quickly so I can help you, ok, mom?"

Or for lolly to literally jump with joy when she sees me after MIA for 5 minutes or for her to smolder her face unto mine..

For all these, I must be loving them right (read: doing the best i can)

Disclaimer : I have never won the Oscar or Nobel prize before...so i may just change my mind about this recognition business when i do receive one ;-)